AITA for throwing my sister and her son out of my house?

A grieving single father (35M) asked if he was wrong for throwing out his sister and nephew after a series of hurtful incidents. The sister and her son (9M) had been staying with him and his three boys after her divorce.

Tensions escalated when the nephew bullied the father’s oldest son (10M) about not having a mom, and the sister made deeply insensitive comments during the youngest child’s birthday party. Despite her pleas, the father gave her two days to leave. Was he wrong for prioritizing his family’s peace over her situation? Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for throwing my sister and her son out of my house?’

I (35M) am a single father of 3 boys (10M, 7M and 3M). Their mother died last year due to ovarian cancer. It has been a rough year to say the least. My sister got divorced 6 months ago and temporarily moved in with me and the boys. She has a son, my nephew (9M) who stays with us most of the time.

My nephew and my 10yro are not the best of friends, but so far they got along fine apart from some teasing from both sides. A few weeks ago my 10yro started telling me that his cousin was bullying him and being mean to him. He called him names, pushed him around, took his video games etc.

I talked to my sister many times and told her to talk to her son, we talked to the boys together and things settled down. Yesterday was my 3yro’s birthday, so my whole family was here and my late wife’s family as well. It was extremely emotional for everyone, because it was the first birthday since my wife’s been gone.

The boys (10yro and 9yro) started fighting again and I asked them both to calm down and behave. My son started crying and told me his cousin teased him about him not having a mom. I choked up and asked my nephew if that was true, and he said yes, but that he’s sorry.

I figured I’d have a proper talk with him and my sister after the party, so I just told him what he said was really awful and he cannot say it again. I comforted my son and we went back to the party. Before we cut the cake, my sister came yelling at me, saying I had no bussineaa disciplining her child.

I told her to drop it and we’ll talk later, instead she said “besides, he’s right, kids need a mom”. I had tears in my eyes by that time and she just said “see, it’s even turning you into a pu**y”.
My in-laws were crying, I was tearing up, the kids were upset, just awful. I told her to stop it and just leave me and the kids and the family to cut the cake and we will talk in the evening. She said “listen we both lost our spouses, but at least I’m still a normal person”. She stormed off. After the party I told her she has 2 days to pack her s**t and leave.
She is begging me not to throw her out, because she and her kid will be homeless.. Aita for throwing her out?

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Zeta8345 −  NTA. Your wife died! That’s significantly different from being divorced. Good job protecting your children from her poisonous attitude. And crying due to grief is hardly being a p$ssy so good on you for showing your boys that.

RighteousVengeance −  NTA to the tenth power. I would love to know how your sister thinks a “normal person” is supposed to react when their beloved spouse dies. Especially during their child’s birthday, when the spouse has only been dead since last year, following a long illness. Trust me. You’re reacting quite normally.

Your sister, on the other hand, is displaying incredible ingratitude and callousness. I’m not a therapist, but this sounds like malignant n**cissism. If that’s normal, then you need to kick the normalcy out of your life. I wouldn’t speak to her again for any reason.

And the real kicker is, that even when she’s facing homelessness, she still refuses to even question her own actions. She’s not apologizing. She’s appealing to your sense of pity. After the way she insulted you, I would not even consider allowing her to stay.

If CPS is looking for relatives to take your nephew, and there’s no one else, you might consider letting him stay since he apologized. But any visits with his mother should be done with an intermediary and off your property. Although given the fact that he steals from your child, that might not be advisable.

Glad to know you’re calling his dad and letting him deal with him. Hope you and his dad are on good terms, at least.

ColoredGayngels −  NTA, what the hell is she talking about? Does she have no sympathy? “We both lost our spouses” ma’am you CHOSE to lose yours. And now it sounds like she’s choosing to lose her relationship with you too.

She has no right to treat you and your children that way. Anyway, I’m so, so sorry for your loss, and a belated happy birthday to your son. Sending lots of love

[Reddit User] −  NTA you’re kids are grieving, you’re grieving, none of you need an inconsiderate and selfish relative in your home telling you how to handle your grief. Especially in front of your kids. You tried to be civil and have the necessary conversation later on, but she insisted and insulted you/your late wife with her comments.

And if anyone calls you an a**hole for kicking them out tell them to take her in/how would they feel if she said that about their dead relative. Sorry for you loss, may your wife’s memory be a blessing to all who loved her.

Smulch −  Nta, a boundary was not just crossed, it was nuked. I wouldn’t want to talk to that person again, ever.

randolphmd −  You both lost your spouses?? In front of your in laws???? Almost hard to believe this is real since that is so far over the line. Sadly I do believe you.
NTA. You would be if you kept your sister around your kids while everyone is grieving.

MadamMarshmallows −  NTA. You didn’t both *lose* your spouses. Hers still exists, walking around alive. Absolutely not at all the same thing. Her pussy comment and whatnot, nope. She should’ve been way less s**tty if she was concerned about being homeless with her child.

Instead, she was rude and inconsiderate and judgmental and heartless. You and your kids do not need this extra stress and heartbreak right now. Kick her out and focus on healing and moving forward with your family.

whybother_incertname −  NTA. She’s rude, belligerent, & so is her kid. Getting divorced is not the same. No matter what she thinks & grieving is normal. She’s the AH. If she hasn’t been paying rent, then she’s a guest & you don’t have to follow tenant protocol

Not-a-Cranky-Panda −  NTA I’d say two days is three days too long.

Not-Creative-0921 −  NTA at all. I see where your nephew gets his bullying attitude from. I’m very sorry for your loss.