AITA for throwing my pregnant SIL’s groceries away?

A mother faced a difficult situation when her pregnant sister-in-law, staying at their house, brought peanut products despite knowing her 8-year-old son has a severe peanut allergy. After finding peanut butter left out unsafely in her kitchen, the mother threw away all the groceries, leading to a heated argument. Read the full story below…

‘ AITA for throwing my pregnant SIL’s groceries away?’

My brother and his wife Laura who is 7 months pregnant are staying with us for a week or so since he’s interviewing for jobs in the city my family and I are in.
My kids love having their aunt and uncle around and everything’s been great. Yesterday, Laura went out and came back with groceries.

I thanked her but told her that we don’t expect them to do this, the kitchen is stocked and that we’re just enjoying having them. She said that she wanted to and that most were cravings she’s been having. I started helping her unload the bags and noticed that a lot of snacks were with peanuts… cookies, crackers, PB, even some sort of cake fusion.

It all made me uneasy because she knows my oldest son, 8M, is extremely allergic. I don’t keep anything of the kind in our home because we’ve had an incident when he was younger where we almost lost him. I didn’t want to be rude but I told her that I’m not comfortable with having the stuff in the house.

She told me that she would be careful, that she wouldn’t eat it around him or his siblings and that she’d clean up after herself, that she was having intense cravings and needed them. Look, I’ve had 4 kids and kind of get where she’s coming from although I never HAD to have something but every woman is different.

I made sure my son knew not to touch any of it and to leave her alone when she’s eating them. That was that. Today, I woke up early to make breakfast and opened the fridge only to be greeted by strawberries dipped in PB left out without a container to ‘chill’. The PB jar wasn’t sealed properly next to them and there were sandwiches on a plate because she ‘likes the bread cold and soggy’.

I was pissed. I’ve read enough about airborne contamination to know that you can’t really determine it but I wasn’t risking it. I grabbed a bag and started throwing everything in it, our groceries, hers, I didn’t care. I was going to take the bag, drive to a shelter and let them know the situation.

Laura woke up while I was on my rampage, came down and asked all upset what I was doing. I was snippy with her and didn’t try to hide it. We got in an argument with her defensively saying that I can’t do this, that the baby needs it and that it’s cruel to put a pregnant woman through unsatisfied cravings.

I told her bluntly that I don’t give a single f**k, if she can’t keep to her word then I won’t either and that she’ll live without her craving, my son can’t say the same with his allergy. She went back upstairs, packed her bag and came back down, grabbed the bag of food and left in a huff.

My brother was at his interview and called me half an hour later to ask me what happened. He was upset with his wife but also with me because nothing happened and at the end of the day, my son is fine. I told my husband when he came back from work and he’s completely on my side.. AITA?

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

__Butternut_Squash__ −  NTA. If your SIL doesn’t get to eat her pregnancy cravings, she and her baby will be just fine. If your son is exposed to his allergen, he could get very sick or even die. SIL is a selfish entitled a**hole for thinking that her snacks were somehow more important than the life of your son.

TheLastWord63 −  This is not about anybody’s feelings. This is about your son’s safety and life. She just didn’t bring something in the house that was deadly to him. She purposely exposed your refrigerator contents to it. Her and your brother are completely wrong for putting the blame on you. Why would you apologize for protecting your son?

she_who_knits −  NTA,  leave things lc until after she has her baby. Then on some visit gently ask what she would do if a guest put her precious baby in mortal danger?
Right now her hormones aren’t mixing well with her princess syndrome. Best to wait until it’s cleared her system.

Haunting-Aardvark709 −  “she now feels unwelcome and unloved in our family ” so she should. She selfishly risked killing a child in the family. She’d be ostracized in mine. NTA

Stay-Cool-Mommio −  NTA but I would have been a muuuuuuuuch bigger problem for her before she brought any of that into my house. “No. We don’t have peanuts in the house. You can leave it in your car and eat it out side, get a hotel, or throw it away.

That’s your choice. Having them in my house is not part of that choice.” “But I neeeeeeed them. The baby needs them!” “Then get the hell out of my house and take your need to a hotel. You don’t get to endanger my kid for a craving.”

CarpeCyprinidae −  You weren’t angry enough. she risked your childs life, unapologetically. Get madder. Get on the phone to her and shout her down. she needs to know this was beyond unacceptable. i wouldn’t just burn a bridge over this, I’d poison the river underneath it and torpedo the ferry too.

MyFriendsCallMeEpic −  imagine going to complain only to get reprimanded. ops brother clearly only thinking with his pecker and not with his brain coz to defend that woman even if its the love of your life is a loosing battle. what a utter mess, thank god ops mother is not unhinged. NTA – dont apologize, she could have killed your kid.

juzme99 −  She contaminated everything in your fridge by leaving an open PB jar , sandwich, and dipped strawberries which you would have to replace. you had to deep clean your kitchen, because you don’t know what she wiped down. Her attitude of I’m having cravings and I have to have them is bullcrap

BiiiigSteppy −  NTA. I’m a retired chef; we are taught about food allergies (and how serious they are) in culinary school. I also have a twin who is deathly allergic to tree nuts. Like anaphylaxis, die within minutes, keep an epipen on his body at all times allergic. You are more right than you know.

Nut oils are volatile, meaning they are airborne, and can be inhaled. (Especially volatile when heated which is why warm nuts on airplanes are so dangerous). Someone who has an allergy and inhales those protein particles is in particular danger because their lungs react first – their lungs become inflamed immediately rather than as symptoms progress – and they can lose their airway faster than they can be treated.

What your SIL did was selfish, callous, thoughtless and a lot of other adjectives I could use. If she truly thinks she did nothing wrong then she doesn’t understand how allergies work. She needs to educate herself and it should be before her own baby comes ffs. If it were me this would be her one free pass. This time she can claim ignorance.

Any additional idiocy would get her a ban from my house and I would fear for her life if my mom were still alive. I’m sure most of us would feel some level of empathy for her distress but the first priority is keeping your child alive. If she can’t see that you’ve got bigger problems than this one incident.. Good luck and don’t back down.

shangri-laschild −  If you apologize for your reaction, you’re telling her it wasn’t as big of an emergency as you made it out to be and she doesn’t have to take your son’s allergy seriously.

Was this mother justified in protecting her allergic son at all costs, or did she overreact to her sister-in-law’s cravings? Share your thoughts below!