AITA for throwing my kid’s clothes onto the floor when they don’t fold their clothes neatly?

A Reddit user sparked a family conflict after enforcing a strict laundry organization rule by dumping their teenager’s clothes onto the floor when they weren’t folded to the parent’s standards. This action led to an emotional breakdown from the teen, escalating to the teen leaving to stay with an aunt and the family questioning the parent’s behavior. Read the full story below to explore the dynamics of parenting, boundaries, and discipline.

‘ AITA for throwing my kid’s clothes onto the floor when they don’t fold their clothes neatly?’

The article has the next update at the end.

So I’ve always been kind of a neat freak mom the entire time my kids have been alive. I always expect their rooms to be clean, and I check their drawers/closets/storage bins to make sure they don’t just shove stuff in there to make the room appear clean.

The kids (16, 13, 9, and 6) are all responsible for putting away their laundry, and my oldest two are responsible for folding their own clothes. Which bothers me because my 13 year old folds his clothes in a way that bothers me, he rolls them up instead of properly folding them.

Ever since the kids have been home and have more free time, I am more strict about the way they put away their clothes. I expect their clothes to be folded a certain way and organized in a certain way in their drawers.

I read from a mommy blogger a few years ago, that when her kid’s drawers weren’t organized she would make a mess for them to organize the right way. I considered it for a few years, but now that the kids are old enough, I think it’s the way to go for us.

I haven’t had to do this until yesterday, I walked into my 16 year old’s room while she was Facetiming her boyfriend, and saw her basket of laundry that needed to be folded and out of curiosity, opened her drawers, and saw she has shoved her clothes in there. I started making a mess and she screamed “Mom why?” and I told her she knew why.

After that I walked out of her room, she explained to her boyfriend what I did and he says “Your mom’s f**king crazy bruh” and I peek my head into her room, give her a look, and she ends the call with him and breaks down crying.
I told my husband what happened, he told me “I knew said you were gonna do that but I didn’t know you would actually follow through.”

This morning I woke up to a note on my daughter’s door saying “Until mom can get mental help, I’m staying with Aunt (my sister’s name)” I texted her, no response. I tried contacting my sister, who said she has no plans to return until I “get mental help and stop being such a controlling b**ch” My husband, sister, and mom are all against me in this which hurts. I don’t think it harmed my daughter, it benefits her and helps her stay organized..

Next update: https://aita.pics/nZzDD

Check out how the community responded:

amckoy −  Parenting is an odd thing in that you act in the way you see fit, but it’s a private environment so you don’t get the feedback & social cues that would otherwise guide behaviour. The people involved are complicit (partner) or subject to those actions (kids) so not a great reflection on the situation… All continues…until it doesn’t.

And of course it’s not like there’s a great learning environment…you continually learn with the first and are a different parent to any subsequent children. And that’s all without any mental health disorders like in this case. Glad OOP got the feedback and had the balls to take it on and address it.

fauxsoul −  My step mom worked at a prison, and did things at home the way she did things at work. If I let my room get too dirty she would throw everything in the room into a pile in the middle of the room, like she was doing a shakedown looking for drugs in a cell. Literally everything would be put into the pile, my mattress would be flipped up etc. Safe to say I still hate her to this day, and all of this s**t was almost 20 years ago.

a_bitch_and_bastard −  I could feel the emotional distress radiating from the daughter. Started making a mess and she screamed “Mom why?” and *I told her she knew why*. The second I saw that I knew this was the latest in a long string of incidents. I’m not surprised she left; but I am surprised that OOP’s daughter is giving her a second chance. Not sure I would go back home after that.

eatmyknuts −  My mom did this except she would d**p every drawer out and rip all the clothes off the hangers and leave it in a pile on the floor/bed. This was if one thing was folded wrong or put away in the wrong place.. yeah we don’t talk anymore. Not a healthy way to communicate.

G1Gestalt −  It’s ironic as hell. First off, OOP is lucky because conditions like OCD often have a big dose of denial built in and the person never ends up getting help. But the way she ended up deciding to get help is, as I said, very ironic. First, she reads that a moronic blogger on the internet basically recommends vandalism as a parenting tactic, then in another corner of the internet (Reddit) she gets the wakeup call she needs.

The internet put a toxic idea in her brain, detoxified it, and all of that led her to an OCD diagnosis which she needed to save her family. Wild ride. It’s not Shakespeare level ironic, but it’s not Alanis Morisette level ironic either. (Redditors will have to know about the “controversy” around a specific song to understand what I mean with that last sentence.)

Ellisni −  This poor girl. My mom made cleaning unbearable. She said everything had to be “Mommy Clean,” her term for it being perfect even though she never really explained exactly what she wanted and would make us do things over and over and over. I’ve always had big issues staying tidy so this was awful for me. Turns out, I have ADHD, just diagnosed last week at age 29, so now I know why it’s been a lifelong struggle for me. Thanks mom for making it even harder.

2006bruin −  I bet she was rightfully *ripped to shreds* in the comments on her original AITA post.. I thought my mom was n**rotic… Also, rolling clothes is a legitimate tactic for maximizing storage space and minimizing wrinkles, particularly useful in packing suitcases.

bunnyfoofoo49 −  This brought up such a sad memory for me. My sister and I shared a room when we were 6 and 8. I don’t remember exactly how messy it was but I DO remember our dad coming into the room and just destroying everything. Drawers pulled out, dressers flipped, everything in the closet was in a heap in the middle of the room He also broke my glass blown hummingbird that I absolutely cherished. I’m in my 50’s now but I still get tears when I think about it.

starfire5105 −  Mommy bloggers are a scourge on this planet.

Saryylyss −  I feel this in my soul. I’ve been there. Chores were a punishment. You know, the simple things that make us functioning adults…were punishments. I was given a list and then not acknowledged until it was done. And if it wasn’t done to specification, then I started at the top and did it all over again. No break except for schoolwork (I was homeschooled,) meals and then back at the chores again until sleep when I could steal a few minutes to read a casual book…

College didn’t help. If you didn’t pass the “white glove” inspections, you got demerits on your permanent record for the year. And in a dorm of 100 girls, maybe 20 would escape inspection with no demerits. Now in my mid-thirties I struggle mentally and emotionally with my own home…because it never stopped being a punishment.