AITA for threatening to sue both the school and the family of my daughter’s b**ly?
When the safety and well-being of your child are at stake, how far would you go to protect them? In this story, a 30-year-old father and his 33-year-old husband find themselves at their wits’ end as their 11-year-old adopted daughter endures relentless bullying at school. Despite numerous attempts to seek help from the school administration, the torment has escalated from verbal abuse to physical harassment, leaving their daughter anxious and fearful.
Feeling ignored and desperate, they consider legal action against both the school and the bully’s family. But now that the school and the parents of the bully are promising to take action, they face a dilemma: should they trust these assurances or proceed with their legal plans? Are they justified in threatening legal action to protect their daughter, or are they overreacting to a situation that is now being addressed?
‘ AITA for threatening to sue both the school and the family of my daughter’s b**ly?’
Expert Opinions:
The Importance of Immediate and Decisive Action
Dr. Henry Cloud emphasizes, “When a child’s well-being is compromised, it’s imperative for parents to take swift and decisive action. Legal avenues can serve as a necessary measure to ensure accountability and protect the child.”
The Psychological Impact of Bullying
Dr. Laura Markham notes, “Prolonged exposure to bullying can lead to severe psychological consequences, including anxiety, depression, and diminished self-esteem. It’s crucial for parents to advocate fiercely for their child’s safety and mental health.”
Balancing Legal Action with Potential Outcomes
Dr. John Gottman advises, “While legal action can be an effective tool for change, it’s important to consider the potential impacts on all parties involved. Open communication and mediation should be attempted first, but if these fail, legal recourse may be justified.”
Solutions Proposed by Experts:
- Document All Incidents: Keep detailed records of all bullying incidents, including dates, descriptions, and any communications with the school.
- Engage in Mediation: Before proceeding with legal action, consider mediation involving the school administration, the bully’s parents, and a neutral third party to develop a comprehensive plan to prevent further incidents.
- Monitor the Situation: If the school and the bully’s parents have taken steps to address the issue, closely monitor the situation to ensure that the bullying has indeed ceased.
- Seek Professional Support: Provide your daughter with access to counseling services to help her cope with the trauma and rebuild her confidence.
Here’s how people reacted to the post:
Reddit users are divided on this issue. Many support the parents’ decision to pursue legal action, arguing that the school’s previous inaction warrants such measures to ensure the child’s safety. Others suggest that, given the recent steps taken by the school and the bully’s parents, it might be prudent to observe the situation before proceeding legally. The consensus emphasizes the paramount importance of the child’s well-being and the necessity of holding institutions accountable.
This story raises critical questions about the lengths to which parents should go to protect their children from bullying. When initial pleas for help are ignored, is it justified to threaten legal action to ensure a child’s safety? Or should parents trust in the assurances of schools and other parents once they finally take notice? Share your thoughts and experiences below—your insights could provide guidance to others facing similar heart-wrenching decisions.
Family should go through with the law suit and filing the assault charges. This has gone far too long for hot air empty apologies. The parents of the girls, yes bullies travel in packs, need to be held as accountable as the teacher, principal, and the whole school district.
NTA my son is bullied at school as well and the teachers and principal just pay lip service to us but nothing ever happens.
I’m in the ‘sue them all’ camp, get it all on record. One more thing for your daughter, tell her that every adopted child was chosen while every natural child’s parents were stuck with the luck of the draw. She’s special, she was chosen.
Take it to the courts, name and shame them all ,bullying has got to be damped out ,they say they will sort it but I’m 65 now and I had it dad in school then. And I had to deal with the scrum bags when my artistic son was bullied when he dated school how many years have we to wait to get support for our children , don’t let them win
Once you made contact and made them aware, was when the clock started ticking. So it should have never got to the point of physical assault. Keep record of the call dates and emails. Those are time stamped. I’ll just say your taking the better route than me because for my kids I’d be the one being sued. I’m a very firm believer of tit for tat, an eye for an eye. If they go low, I’m going to hell.
Include the School District and the District Superintendent in your lawsuit. They are responsible for everything that happens at all the schools.
Retired teacher here. This behavior should have been shut down immediately. By not acting on the issue, the school and school officials were making the bullying worse. By not enforcing consequences, the bully was given the impression that what they were doing was somehow ok. I’d sue.
Both pre-teens and teens have committed suicide over bullying just like your daughter is experiencing now. Continue with your lawsuit because once the pressure of the suit is off the table, the staff will relax again, the kids will watch the adults and get the message that it is all clear to continue the harassment. Ask your lawyer if it is legal to record someone in the state you reside in without their permission. If it is hide a small recording device in your daughter’s hair or clothes so you have proof of exactly which kids are the culprits. Report the assault of the hair cutting incident to the police. If they posted harrassing videos online about your daughter have copies to take to the police as well. Good luck.
It should have never gotten that far! The school evidently didn’t give a damn and it became assault. Sue everyone and make it known . Contact newspapers, radio stations, talk show hosts! Plaster it everywhere. Names places, everything!! I hope your daughter knows how spectacular she is.!
Nta,you need to continue with the legal procedure. They will not learn and will continue to try to gaslight you. This is your child,protect her at all cost.( enroll her in a self defense class if possible). Bullies almost never quit until they are taken down a peg.
NTA, Sue them, they are responding to being sued not the abuse your daughter endured. I agree with reporting this assault to the police. Cutting hair is violent act, if an adult had their hair cut by someone else there would be no question about reporting ti and suing. Why are children expected to take accept this. Sue the teacher for not doing anything when this happened.
It doesn’t matter what the problem will remain even when the child is assaulted it will be made to appear she has caused it, it happens to many and if they haven’t done anything yet then they wont.
Report the haircutting incident to the police it was premeditated for them to bring whatever it was cut with into school every one seems to think it was scissors but was it, it could just have been a knife or razor, what ever it was it was a deadly weapon if this is not acted upon the next time she could end up Badly cut
Absolutely . This is beyond normal bully . Take her out of the school is the first thing the parents should do and take legal action
I think action should have been taken long before physical b///ying took place.sue both the school and parents
I would like ro address the school and teachers involved. These parents entrust their precious kids in your care. It is your responsibility to protect them all from harm and at times from themselves. What i mean by this is that sometimes these kids become bullies because either the parents don’t step up and say it is wrong or somehow this behaviour is encouraged by an influential person in their lives. It is your job to teach them moral behavior. Some kids don’t get the teaching at home. You may say, “well its not my job to teach them morals and values.” That is where you are wrong.
We have become a society of people who don’t take ownership of their actions. We want to blame everyone else for our actions and misfortunes.
Ok. Getting back to what you as a teacher or school should do in this situation. Call a meeting with all parents and kids involved. Discuss the problem and even vkice your own frustrations and limitations. Then offer this as a solution.
Let the kid that was assaulted cut the same amount of hair of the bully. This will yeach the bully that their actions have consequences.
If the bullys parents dont agree to allow this then encourage the offended kids parents to press charges.
If they do allow it you may have just saved this bully from ever bullying others and other kids from being bullied by this kid. You will have changed two kids lives. You may have even taught the parents a lesson too.
However, having said all that i would first talk to your local police to run the idea by them. You need to cover your own a## first. You would not want the parents of this bully to press charges on you.
If the police or the parents really care about the kids involved they would not object to the idea.
I know i will get a lot of backlash for this suggestion but in my oppinion it would be a win win solution for all involved. The bully learns a lesson. The parents of that kid learns that they need to pay more attention to the behavior of their children.
The offended child learns that people do actually care about what happens to them. The offended kids parents feel justice has been served.
And finally it sends a message to other kids and parents that this type of behavior is not tolerated.
Unfortunately tweens are now committing suicide due to bullying at school. If the children are also on social media, there is no way they can get away from it if the bullies decide to continue it online. To make it even worse many times the bullying is filmed and then posted. The humiliation becomes overwhelming and if they do not share what is happening with you, then they can really spiral down into depression and begin to believe there is no way out of this nightmare. It is crucial to talk openly with your children, advocate for your child with the teachers, principals, and superintendent if you feel it is not being handled appropriately at the school level. Get counseling for your child and consider changing schools if your child’s behavior becomes so anxious she/ he tries to avoid attending school. Good luck. It is a parent’s worst nightmare when their child becomes the target of bullies.
yes, sue them, this has to stop, assault, abuse, what is next? Go ahesd and sue
I would continue to get legal action as until your did they just let the bullying persist until it even become physical and than led to illegal harrasment,So keep going and show your child you have her back and also possibly save countless other people from becoming victims as well.
A friend taught her adopted daughter to answer them as such : Yes, I am adopted but my parents CHOSE me and love me unconditionally and will protect me no matter what. BUT your parents had no choice and had to accept what they got. The kids stopped commenting on her being adopted.
NTA. As a bullied parent with my own son assaulted SUE them all. My son was bullied so badly that 4 boys assaulted my son he has permanent back issues to this day. I didn’t have the availability to target the school as I should have and my son suffers from it on the daily. I went after everyone I could but at that time I was limited. I did go hulk and went straight to the teacher and person in charge and changed my sons teacher please use everything you can because they have just started and they won’t stop because mommy says so. Protect your baby by suing every single one. You sound like an awesome parent as it is but above all else you need to step up against them all. In action on their part is no excuse!!!!! Get them now before someone gets physical to the point of a lifetime pain. The boys slammed my son on the concrete and then all 4 stomped on his hip dislocating it. Please don’t let your baby become their punching bag anymore because if you say we’ll ok now it will only get worse. Your child may be embarrassed now but that will pass. The physical pain will heal but her mental status can lead to suicide and trust me on this my son threatened me all his life. Don’t ignore this
Sue them and file police charges. It’s not going to stop being in different classes, it will happen at breaks and lunches. Your daughter shouldn’t have to go through this daily. The bullies need to be taken in hand and dealt with severly- they will find someone else- the family does too. As for the school blaming her for adoption as the cause of tummy upsets, the principal and her cohorts need dismissing too, they don’t want to have to deal with anything. Write letters to council/board of governors/trust whoever are their management tier. The teacher who allowed this in their class need dismissing as they obviously have no control over pupils!!
Don’t let your daughter suffer anymore