AITA for threatening to call off my wedding after my fiancée slapped me?
Wedding plans and long-term commitments are built on trust and mutual respect. When that foundation is shaken—even by what might seem like a single, isolated act of physical aggression—the resulting shock can leave you questioning everything. In this case, a 28-year-old man shares that during a heated argument with his fiancée, who is 24, she slapped him in the face.
Although the incident occurred over a relatively trivial disagreement, it has forced him to reconsider the future of their relationship and even the upcoming wedding. With mounting pushback from friends and family—who argue that his reaction is overblown due to physical differences—he now wonders if he’s being unreasonable for considering ending the engagement.
‘AITA for threatening to call off my wedding after my fiancée slapped me?’
Expert Opinion:
Relationship and mental health professionals caution that any physical aggression in an intimate relationship—even a single slap—should not be dismissed lightly. One expert notes, “Even if the act seems minor in the context of power dynamics, physical violence can be a powerful indicator of underlying emotional dysregulation and boundary issues.” This insight reinforces the idea that the hurt partner’s reaction is not merely about physical strength but about the breach of trust and safety.
Furthermore, therapists emphasize that using physical force—even in a moment of intense emotion—can have long-lasting psychological effects. “When someone you plan to build a life with resorts to physical aggression, it can trigger deep-seated fears and memories, regardless of who is stronger,” explains a relationship counselor .
Although your fiancée apologized, experts agree that a sincere apology might not be enough to fully repair the emotional damage done. It is perfectly valid to require time and space to process the incident and to reconsider whether you feel safe and respected moving forward.
Here’s what Redditors had to say:
The broader redditor community expresses a general consensus that any instance of physical violence—no matter how brief or seemingly isolated—is a red flag in a relationship. Many say that while some might argue your reaction is an overreaction due to physical size differences, emotional harm isn’t measured solely by physical force.
The majority agree that your feelings of betrayal and the need to reassert your boundaries are entirely understandable. In a nutshell, taking time to reflect on whether you can ever fully trust someone who has crossed a physical boundary isn’t “crazy”—it’s self-preservation.
Ultimately, this isn’t about punishing your fiancée or misusing therapy language; it’s about protecting your emotional well-being and re-evaluating what you require from a lifelong partner. Even if her actions occurred in a moment of anger, a single act of physical aggression can have far-reaching consequences for trust and intimacy.
How do you balance a momentary lapse against the long-term vision you have for your relationship? Would you give a second chance to a partner who crosses a physical boundary, or do you believe that such an act is a deal-breaker? Share your thoughts and experiences—your insights might help others who are wrestling with similar heart-wrenching dilemmas.