AITA for telling the truth about how the bride looks?

A Reddit user recently shared a story about her brother’s wedding day, where her honest feedback on the bride’s look stirred up some drama. Asked to photograph the event, she felt that the bride’s vibrant green contacts looked unnatural in photos and discreetly suggested editing to adjust the contrast.

Unfortunately, the bride took offense, feeling insulted on her big day. Now, the Redditor wonders if her honesty was out of line. Read the story below to see how it all unfolded.

‘ AITA for telling the truth about how the bride looks?’

I F(24) dabble in photography quite often as for a career I design clothing and model it to save costs. So when my brother Jake M(21) asked me to photograph his wedding, I of course agreed.

My brothers wife, Chelsea(22) is a very kind woman, however her stylistic choices can sometimes be a bit wild. I do not judge at all because I know innovation is part of self expression.

Chelsea showed me her wedding makeup, and she had these vibrant green contacts on. They looked extremely reptilian on her due to it not matching her undertone. When she showed me the picture, I told her she looked lovely, but that the contacts weren’t the best.

She seemed a bit offended, and told me she just wanted to look “exotic like you”. I offered to find her some more natural contacts but she wouldn’t relent.

On her wedding day, as I took pictures, the contacts looked even worse, like a neon green light up sign. When Jake was free for a moment, I showed him a few pictures.

He called Chelsea over, and she seemed to be happy with the pictures, while Jake seemed a bit iffy. Chelsea asked what I thought, and I told her she looked stunning, but I then asked if she’d like me to edit the contrast a bit in the pictures.

She then got extremely defensive, and accused me of calling her u**y on her own wedding day. Of course that was not my intention, but I left early to prevent a scene..

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

HowlPen −  A gentle YTA. You showed her the photos, and she liked how she looked- that’s what matters in this moment. As you said, this is her form of self-expression. You’d have been better off sticking to your “I do not judge at all” claim.

You approached this as a family member and not as a wedding photographer. Can’t fault you for that, so a gentle YTA,  because you are her new SIL. Your honesty was well-intended but your timing was poor.

A wedding photographer would have taken the photos and not questioned the bride’s style choices. That would be the professional approach in this scenario. Afterwards once you sent the photos over, the bride could let you know if she had concerns.

If she didn’t, as a photographer, you keep your mouth shut.  Side note: As someone who does photography as a side hustle, I highly recommend not being the main photographer for relatives’ weddings.

Learned this early on. They hire a professional, you have more fun, and whatever photos you take are “bonus” pictures that they are ever so grateful to receive!

v_a_n_d_e_l_a_y −  YTA – Giving her advice pre-wedding was okay. There was absolutely no reason to show them pictures or give them advice or ask about editing ON THE WEDDING DAY.

That could have been saved for post-wedding and could have been done a lot more tactfully (give them a few options of a sample photo and see if they choose the lower contrast one) Also you then left early, presumably leaving them without a photographer?

ThatInAHat −  Info: wtf did she mean “exotic like you?”

quats555 −  YTA. You expressed your opinion, once. It sounds like you were mixing your personal opinion (“her stylistic choices can sometimes be a bit wild”) with your professional opinion about the contacts, which makes me a touch suspicious of your motivation here. But even so, once is fine.

But then you brought it up *again* on her wedding day. Again when you (unnecessarily) sought a second opinion to back yourself up. AND AGAIN when you suggested editing the photos on the same day.

It’s not your place to keep pushing your opinion on the bride. She was happy, why didn’t you want her to be? If she changes her mind later — as you suggest she might — then the photos could be edited THEN. But you needed to be right and kept pushing, and that’s where you’re YTA.

Joy_3DMakes −  YTA. You mentioned it the first time and she disagreed. That should have been the end of it. But you mentioned it again on the big day!?!?

If her contacts really pained you that much, you should have just sent her 2 edited examples (one with adjusted contrast) and asked which she preferred for the rest, after the wedding.

arcsine1 −  YTA – For the reptilian comment if nothing else … that is a bit much. You know you have a preference for well balanced colors and stylish choices… Others don’t have the experience or style to distinguish between overdone and outstanding…

You should never have agreed to photograph the wedding… If you were going to work on the contrast of the pictures, just do it … no need to imply to the bride that you still don’t like her choices while you are attending her wedding.

i_am_art_65 −  her stylistic choices can sometimes be a bit wild. I do not judge at all. That statement along shows that you ARE judging.
Rather than bring it up on the wedding day, you should have waited until afterwords, show them the pictures, asked their opinions, and offer to make any corrections they would like.. YTA

catterybarn −  YTA. Keep your unwanted opinions to yourself. Whether she looked like a komodo dragon or not, it’s not your place to make her feel bad on her wedding day. If they wanted to photoshoot the eye color out after the event, that’s so easy to do. Instead you put a huge damper on their wedding day.

angryromancegrrrl −  YTA since you did this at her reception. That is not the time to discuss pictures editing especially since you already discussed the contacts and she’s told you she liked them.

Longjumping-Cat-712 −  Yta. I am a wedding photographer. Everyone has their own style, which is what makes weddings fun. You sound full of yourself.

Someone who dabbles in photography should not be shooting a wedding. I would never consult a client on editing, especially at their wedding. Not to mention, greens always look wild before editing. Ridiculous!

Do you think the user overstepped by mentioning the contacts, or was it a fair suggestion for the sake of capturing better photos? How would you handle giving honest feedback on someone’s appearance, especially on a big day like a wedding? Share your thoughts in the comments!