AITA for telling the guidance counselor my classmate called me a slur?

A 17-year-old girl (17F) in high school has a music class with two sophomore girls, Addison and Hazel. Hazel, a popular and straight classmate, made a derogatory comment using a homophobic slur towards her, which the girl confronted after class, asking Hazel not to use the slur again.

Hazel responded dismissively, claiming she had a “pass” to use the word. Later, the girl learned from Addison that Hazel had texted someone else about the incident, mocking her and expressing no remorse.

In response, the girl gathered evidence of Hazel’s past offensive behavior and sent it to the guidance counselor, resulting in Hazel facing consequences at school. Hazel got upset, and the girl is now questioning if she overreacted by reporting Hazel.

‘ AITA for telling the guidance counselor my classmate called me a slur?’

I (17F) have a music class with two sophomore girls (both 15f) named Addison and Hazel (fake names). Addison is a sweetheart and I swear she hung the moon. She’s super kind and very creative, which I get along with. Hazel is very preppy and popular in her grade.

For background, I’m bisexual and have been out for about 4 years now. Addison is also on the queer spectrum. Hazel is straight. Yesterday in class, we were tossing light hearted insults back and forth, then mostly calling me old and me mostly calling them short.

Hazel called me a dinosaur and I said “Oh I’m sorry, I can’t hear you from all the way down there,” with a small laugh. Hazel immediately shot back, “Well at least I’m not a f**king f*ggot.” With zero hesitation. I was gobsmacked of course, but simply stopped talking to her.

After class I pulled her aside in the hall and said, I quote: “Hey, I understand some people are okay with being called that, but I personally have bad history with it. Please don’t call me that again.” I remember every word because I rehearsed it in my head all class. She said “Oh, well it’s okay.

I have the pass.” I sorta scoffed and said “Okay, who gave you the pass?” She said her best friend and I said “Yeah, but I didn’t. Please just don’t call me that.” She rolled her eyes and left. I wasn’t going to really bring it up again, being out for such a long time in the south I’ve heard way worse.

But after school Addison sends me a text with a screenshot of a text from Hazel. This is the exact text word for word: “This one girl got mad at me for saying f*ggot and said not to say it and I said nobody getting affected cuz of it and she said me and I said I got the pass so what??

It’s just a word and she who gave u the pass and I said that my best friend and she said I’m not ir best friend OOOOO I COULDA SAID SM STUFF BUT I SHUT YP 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 Bouta p**s me off ion like her no ways to hell . Id like her the day it’d be a cold snowy day in HELL”.

I honestly got pissed off at her for the sheer audacity, so I got on her Instagram and Snapchat story and collected all the s**t she has said about gay people and people of color. I emailed it all to my guidance counselor.

Today she got mad at me because apparently she had to sit out at practice today and she has detention. I told her I didn’t care and it was her fault for talking s**t.. AITA?

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

lmmontes −  NTA. I wonder if she would still feel entitled to a pass in a room full of our wonderful queer community.

Reluctant_Dreamer −  NTA she said a hateful word (which is really been in the up recently which surprises me, I thought that word was relegated to the history books) which regardless of having a “pass” or not was not said in a kind way at all.

You challenged her on it which could have been the end, she could have grown from that moment. Well she chose to grow into an even uglier place. When challenges from peers don’t work then you need someone to enforce behaviour otherwise bad culture will spread.

TheCosmicUnderground −  Bet she thinks she has a pass to say some other words too…NTA.

Discount_Mithral −  NTA. She used a slur, you tried to handle it appropriately, she went and doubled down. Sounds like she fucked around and found out there are consequences to her big mouth.

TheyCameFromBehind77 −  NTA, I hope she uses her time in detention to work on her writing because that text is an atrocious disaster. I apologize to the electrons she inconvenienced in sending it.

CuriousEmphasis7698 −  NTA. This is a pretty typical case of someone doing something unacceptable, getting caught / turned in, facing consequences and then instead of having the self awareness to realized the only person who got them in trouble was themself through their own words / actions, they blame the person who turned them in. OP did nothing wrong.

Collielover1983 −  NTA -what the hell is she even saying, she sounds like someone trying to be a hard ass and failing. Call her out and report her.
If she doesn’t like you then you don’t owe her any grace for reporting her for what she said.

She doesn’t need this supposed pass because it’s something you can clearly see that she throws around all the time. Girls like this need put in their place, they’ll always be pathetic bullies and it’s “always a joke”.

She’s hateful as hell and her parents obviously failed her. You’re the better person. Words and actions have consequences. These are hers and I’m sure this won’t be the last time she’s in trouble for being an awful person.

DutchWalter −  Having a ”Pass” means NOTHING in this, its a terrible slur and can really affect someone. Why are there ”Passes” Anyway, like the f-pass that was used in this situation? It confuses me that people think its okay because they have the ‘pass’ to say it. It isnt a joke. And its still a slur, with or without a damn pass

sophiabubblex −  honestly, she had it coming. you stood up for yourself and handled it the right way. people like her need to face consequences.

Lmao_Zac −  If you aren’t part of “x” community, do not use/write/say the slurs tied to that community. Period. End of conversation. The concept of a *“pass”* is so dumb. Passes are only valid, **if at all**, when in the company of the person who gave it to you, and nobody else.

Did the girl do the right thing by reporting Hazel’s homophobic behavior, or was she too harsh? What do you think? Share your thoughts below! Read the original story below…