AITA for telling the family therapist my dad and stepmom refused to do the homework assigned and didn’t follow her advice?

Family therapy can be a challenging process, especially when longstanding emotions and unaddressed issues are brought into the room. In this case, a 16-year-old boy reveals how therapy with his dad and stepmom has become a battleground. The goal of these sessions was to improve their strained relationships—primarily because his stepmom desires a closer, more “mom-like” bond with him.

However, he’s long felt that his feelings don’t matter, particularly when it comes to how he wants to be recognized. When his therapist assigned homework to discuss the “son/momma” dynamic and for his stepmom to call him “stepson” for a week, his parents failed to follow through.

Frustrated, he told the therapist that his dad and stepmom refused to do the homework and ignored her advice. His candid honesty has since ignited family conflict and raised a provocative question: is he wrong for holding them accountable?

‘AITA for telling the family therapist my dad and stepmom refused to do the homework assigned and didn’t follow her advice?’

Family therapy is built on the idea that everyone involved must be open and honest, and that change only comes when each member takes responsibility for their part. As noted by Dr. Susan Johnson, a family dynamics expert featured on Psychology Today, “Therapy works best when all parties engage fully, even when it means confronting uncomfortable truths about themselves.”

In this scenario, the teenager’s frustration reflects a deeper issue: his need to be heard and respected. His insistence on sharing that his dad and stepmom did not do their homework is not an act of defiance but rather a plea for genuine change. For many teens navigating blended families, the pressure to accept a new parental dynamic can be overwhelming.

When a child feels that his boundaries and preferences are continuously ignored—for example, by being forced to adopt an unwanted familial title—the emotional toll can be significant. Dr. Johnson explains that “forcing a change in family roles without the child’s genuine buy-in can lead to resentment and further alienation.” This teen’s statement that he felt compelled to tell the therapist about their non-compliance highlights a common issue: while therapy is meant to be a safe space,

it only succeeds if everyone honors their commitments, including the homework designed to foster understanding. Moreover, the homework assignment itself was an opportunity for his dad and stepmom to demonstrate their willingness to meet him halfway. Their refusal to participate suggests that they might be more invested in preserving their own narrative than truly working on the relationship.

When a family member repeatedly disregards the agreed-upon steps toward healing, it not only undermines the therapeutic process but also invalidates the feelings of those who are already vulnerable. Dr. Johnson adds, “It’s essential for all parties in therapy to follow through on assignments; it’s a sign of respect for the process and for one another.” In this case, the teenager’s outburst is a call for accountability—a necessary step toward building a relationship where his voice matters as much as theirs.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Here are some hot takes from the Reddit community—candid and unfiltered. One redditor, coastalkid92, praised his honesty, saying that therapy is only effective when everyone does the work. Another user pointed out that his parents’ refusal to participate shows a lack of respect for his feelings, branding it as classic emotional manipulation.

Several commenters agreed that being forced into a new familial role without consent is unfair, and one popular comment summed it up: “If they can’t meet you halfway, they shouldn’t expect you to change for them.” Overall, the prevailing sentiment is that his feelings are valid and his call for accountability is entirely justified.

This story highlights the challenges of family therapy, particularly when one member feels sidelined in decisions that directly affect their identity and emotional well-being. While change in blended families can be tough, meaningful progress relies on every participant honoring their commitments. When a teen’s plea for respect and participation is dismissed,

it not only stifles growth but can also deepen existing divides. What do you think—should family members be held accountable for their part in therapy even if it means upsetting the status quo? Have you ever encountered a situation where honesty in therapy led to conflict? Share your thoughts and experiences; your insights might help others navigating similar family challenges.