AITA for telling my wife that we’re BOTH pregnant?

A Reddit user shared a heated argument with his pregnant wife after jokingly telling her they were “both pregnant” when she asked for more help around the house. While he believes they share equal responsibilities due to his long work hours and contributions at home, his comment upset her deeply, leaving him questioning whether he was in the wrong. Read the full story below for the context and details.

‘ AITA for telling my wife that we’re BOTH pregnant?’

My wife (29f) and I (27m) do well financially, so we decided to have our fourth child. Every single pregnancy we’ve been through my wife has been a complete nightmare. Some things I can deal with, like waking up to the sound of her puking her guts out every morning, but when she starts demanding I go to the store every day to get her snacks or set up her foot bath thingy because her feet are swollen, I get a little impatient.

I work way longer hours than her in a much more physically demanding profession (I’m a plumber, she’s an engineer) so I think we’re putting an equal amount of effort into this baby.

And it’s not like I don’t help around the house, either. She does all the cooking and dishes, but I do laundry, take out garbage, and mow the lawn (we pay someone to do the floors and bathrooms weekly). My MIL comes over to help with the kids because she says I’m useless (ive been meaning to make a justnomil post about her), and while I appreciate the help I’m sick of her crap. Just because I want one hour of video games to myself a day instead of cleaning up messes in the kitchen doesn’t mean I’m “useless”.

This all came to head yesterday when my wife screamed at me from the kitchen to get off my ass and entertain our twins so she could focus on her meatloaf. I made a dumb joke about how this is the third meatloaf we’ll be eating this week, and she. lost. her. s**t. She told me how I have no sympathy for the fact that she’s pregnant, I should be taking on more of her chores since I can’t breastfeed, but then I reminded her that I still work a lot more hours than her, so I think we’re basically both pregnant.

She got really quiet, and has only spoken to me regarding the kids since. I don’t think I’m wrong but I’ll apologize to her if it makes her happy. AITA here?

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

anabolic_beard −  YTA. You want to play video games instead of watch the kids? You’re irritated by what your wife is making dinner? You think that things like waking up in the middle of the night because she’s puking are analogous to waking up in the night to puke?. You’re a huge major a**hole.

Now, your wife needs to handle some things better, but this is a stupid way and stupid plan to think this will fix it. She’s creating a living creature inside of her and let me assure you that s**t is way harder than whatever you have to do.. My god man

teeny_gecko −  YTA for this. Some things I can deal with, like waking up to the sound of her puking her guts out every morning. Oh wow, a hero! Your wife must be so grateful that you *deal* with this, you’re truly brave. Also, you’re not pregnant, your wife is. You have no idea what it’s like and by the looks of it, you don’t even care..

DorothyZbornaksArmy −  I’m having a hard time believing this is real but if it is: YTA, the giant, juicy a**hole, for all of the following: Every single pregnancy we’ve been through my wife has been a complete nightmare. Some things I can deal with, like waking up to the sound of her puking her guts out every morning. Oh goodness, you’re being woken up?? How dare she have the gall to puke her guts out at such an ungodly hour. SHE is the one doing the vomiting. This is not equal. Get a grip.

I work way longer hours than her in a much more physically demanding profession (I’m a plumber, she’s an engineer) so I think we’re putting an equal amount of effort into this baby. You will never be able to put an equal amount of effort into a pregnancy. It’s her body going through it, not yours. Stop trying to claim effort that you are not making. Just because I want one hour of video games to myself a day instead of cleaning up messes in the kitchen doesn’t mean I’m “useless”.

You don’t get a gold star for doing laundry and taking out trash while you’re also leaving a messy kitchen and refusing to help with anything for an hour a day because you need “you” time. Not seeing any indication of your pregnant wife getting any “her” time. You do not get to always have one hour a day for just yourself when you wife is pregnant and you have 3 children at home. That’s just the way it is.

If this is a real post, you are coming across as selfish and inconsiderate at best and a downright a**hole at worst. Help your wife. Don’t apologize to her to make her happy, apologize and f**king mean it. Think on this. Think what she is going through physically to have another child and f**king treat her with respect and generosity. I would have dumped you long ago if you were mine.

mzfnk4 −  YTA. Geez, YTA. Cooking and dishes are daily tasks. Mowing and taking out the garbage are much more infrequent tasks. I’ll give minor props for laundry. So now that we’ve established she does more at home than you do, how about you drop the whole “I work more hours than she does” bit?

You don’t like having meatloaf for the third time that week? Then get up and make something different. And she was cooking AND tending to twins? Have you ever been pregnant while also having 3 kids already? I only have 2 kids, but the second time around was much, much harder than the first.

You’re tired more, things HURT more and much earlier too. I can’t even imagine how tired I would be with 3 kids and another on the way. I also missed the part where you’re physically carrying the child. I don’t think you can be pregnant unless you are growing a kid in your uterus.

traveling_lime −  YTA. Does your wife get an hour a day to play video games? Managing children is tiresome and not a relaxation time. Why is she managing the children and cooking at the same time? When someone else cooks for you, you say thank you and that’s it. Also, congrats on not being annoyed by the sound of her puking her guts out. (That was sarcastic).

[Reddit User] −  My wife isn’t sleeping, puking her guts up all night, it hurts her swollen feet to move around while she has to deal with twins and another while carrying around the weight of another baby while she works. But then on top of that she cooks food for me that I whine about… But I work hard and do 3 chores a week compared to her doing cooking and cleaning daily, so piiiiitttttyyyyy me.. XD. Aw man. Do you hear yourself?

JuanTanamera511 −  YTA. You’re not pregnant. Not even close. Also, upvoted because you don’t get to tell people how to respond to your post.

attemptedly −  YTA. Other than the fact that she cooks and cleans daily while taking care of your kids and you sit back and complain (but you take out the trash and do the laundry ofc, what a hero). You also clearly posted this because you wanted pity and not an honest answer, and it’s very obvious by how you’re not responding at all and instead downvoting everyone that calls you out for the sad excuse of a man that you are. YTA, and your wife is clearly taking care of FOUR children while pregnant, good luck to her. I hope she does see this and make your life hell.

MsEngelChen −  YTA your body isn’t dealing with pregnancy, hers is. I’m sorry you poor soul have to put up with the sound of her PUKING HER GUTS OUT. You sound like a real catch.

ConcertinaTerpsichor −  YTA. Dealing with three young children 24/7 is a full time job, let alone housekeeping. She already has a full time job as an engineer. Are you really so checked out of fatherhood that you don’t notice what needs doing from moment to moment with the kids? Get off your duff and mind your own children so they don’t get burned or bloody in the kitchen.

Her job is 24/7/365. Ask yourself when SHE gets an hour each day to rest and recuperate. And are you kidding me? Taking out the trash comes every few days, mowing the lawn, etc even fewer. You are not acting like a team player, but one of the biggest slackers I’ve ever heard of.

A husband and wife standing in a modern kitchen. The wife, visibly pregnant, looks frustrated as she prepares food, while the husband, holding a gaming controller, appears defensive. Two young children are playing in the background, and the atmosphere is tense.