Aita for telling my wife she’s perfect the way she is after she gave birth a month ago which resulted in her lashing onto me?

A Reddit user shared a heartfelt yet challenging moment with their wife, who recently gave birth. The user tried to reassure her about her postpartum body, expressing love and support. However, his words seemed to backfire, leading to an emotional outburst and tension between them. Unsure of where he went wrong, the user seeks clarity. Read the full story below to understand the emotional dynamics and decide for yourself.

‘ Aita for telling my wife she’s perfect the way she is after she gave birth a month ago which resulted in her lashing onto me?’

The article has the next update at the end.

Been married to my wife for 2 years, I am 24 and she’s 26, after she got pregnant she always would find fault in every little thing she did or I did, constantly complains about everything, it started during her second trimester and and didn’t stop but got worse, I always was by her side and comfort her and she would calm down for our baby.

But yesterday she had a breakdown, she was sobbing so much when I went to her and asked her whats wrong she took her clothes off and screamed ‘look at me’ and ‘look at my belly’ I gave her a hug and told her that it’s a bit different now but certainly will get better just give it some time.

I said I love her the way she is and our bodies changes over time but my love towards her will never fade cause I love her for who she is not her body. She screamed at me and said am I pitting her? Am I enjoying the way she and her body is? Do I want an u**y wife?

I said you got it all wrong and hugged her, she grabbed my collar and agressively kissed me, I didn’t like it but I went with it for her, she said that I am not allowed to sleep with her tonight, she loves me but if I were to say something like this again she will punch me.

I tried stopping her and explain myself but she didn’t listen to me and grabbed our baby and went to sleep, I didn’t bother her by going to our bedroom despite wanting to see my baby for my wife’s sake, but now I am wondering if I said something wrong? I just wanted to comfort her not insult her, I didn’t mean to hurt her but she took it as if I was making fun of her or putting her so am I the a**hole? I don’t even understand what I did wrong here.

Update here: https://aita.pics/XtEIY

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Secret_Sister_Sarah −  NTA
Sounds like she either has postpartum rage or postpartum psychosis. Either way, she needs psychiatric help NOW. She was violent towards you, and her mood swings could pose a threat to you, herself and the baby.

AnxiousTelephone2997 −  Is she seeing a psychiatrist and/or psychologist right now? The hormone rollercoaster during and after pregnancy is *wild* and can truly cause some women to lose their minds and/or wills to live. Postpartum psychosis and depression are *debilitating*. She sounds like she needs professional help, for her sake and your and your baby’s sakes as well.

Decent-Loquat1899 −  Please talk to her OBGYN asap about her behavior before something really bad happens!

Perfect_Ring3489 −  Nta. She needs a dr. Sounds like postpartum issues.

Altruistic-Tale-7996 −  NTA. Your wife is having a post partum mood disorder of some sort. Does your local hospital have postnatal inpatient? 

iolaus79 −  NTA and she does seem like she has some mental issues following the birth. BUT your answer would have annoyed me if I was her (but in all honesty I don’t think there is any answer that wouldn’t have set her off) – you agreed with her (in her mind) that she was unattractive but she can get back and you’ll stay with her despite her looking horrendous.

New_Day684 −  Call her doctor NOW.

Used-Tangerine-117 −  NTA – but you you’re doing too much explaining. Just hug her and don’t say anything, let her vent.

ItalianIce603 −  NTA and neither is she. Its part of what women go through after childbirth, but your wife may be having a more difficult time than the “average”. Just keep showing her love and GENTLY suggest she try telehealth counseling with a therapist who specializes in postpartum depression.

Limp-Star2137 −  NTA. It sounds like she needs professional help at this point. It’s not you OP, but she isn’t going to hear you right now. She needs an evaluation.