AITA for telling my wife and in-laws to f**k off after they told me to stop cuddling my daughter?

A Reddit user shared their frustration after their wife and in-laws criticized them for cuddling their 15-year-old daughter. The situation escalated when the user’s father-in-law brought up the issue during a family gathering, with the wife and mother-in-law agreeing with him.

Feeling blindsided and defensive, the user responded by telling them to “fuck off and go fuck themselves.”Now, the in-laws and wife are demanding an apology, and the user is questioning whether their reaction was justified. Read the full story below to see the family dynamics and how others have reacted.

‘ AITA for telling my wife and in-laws to f**k off after they told me to stop cuddling my daughter?’

I have 3 kids, 15F, 12F and 7M. My oldest has always been a cuddler, and that suits me fine because I am too. Recently my in laws were over, and we were all watching a movie together. It was a kids movie, and so my 15yo was bored out of her mind and tired, so she started to snuggle up to me and go to sleep.

After the movie was over, we sent all the kids to bed/their rooms and got chatting for a bit longer. There was a fair bit of wine involved (I was sober though), and eventually after a short silence my FIL let it drop that he thought it was inappropriate I still cuddled with my 15yo.

I don’t really know why he brought it up suddenly, but I was prepared to laugh it off and just assumed it was the alcohol. To my surprise, my wife and MIL both agreed with him. I have a lot of respect for my in-laws, I get along with them great and I consider them closer than my own parents.

Obviously I’m quite fond of my wife as well, but I outright told them to “f**k off and go f**k themselves” and then left them and went to bed. I’ve never spoken to any of them like that before, but it felt like the right thing to say in the moment. They all want me to apologize for being so rude to them. AITA?. ​

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

cyfermax −  NTA. The implications of what they’re suggesting are horrendous. You cuddle your damn kid. It’s lovely that she feels so comfortable with you. They’re projecting their own disgusting thoughts and it’s b**lshit. You shouldn’t be apologising to them, they should be apologising to you for the implication.

farmer-schrute −  NTA It’s a cuddle, not a fondle. Just because they are making it s**ual doesn’t mean you or your daughter are.

PhssthpokthePak −  NTA: The recent trend of people sexualising perfectly normal behaviour between parents and children is really getting out of hand. They need to realise that they’re the ones being perverse and not you. Don’t blame you at all for reacting the way you did to their frankly disgusting comment. Edit: Thank you /u/danneb92 and anonymous stranger for my first Gold 🙂

sassisarah −  Please, don’t ever tell your daughter that they said this. It will devastate her and potentially cause a wedge in your relationship. Because it’s a non-issue between you and her, keep it a non-issue.

_swimdown −  NTA they’re looking wayyy to deep into this. They’re sexualising a teenager still enjoying a cuddle with dad. It means you two have a strong comfortable bond and it should be celebrated.

Ciph09 −  NTA. I mean why for gods Sake should a father not be allowed to cuddle with his kids? Not be allowed to show em that he loves them? And please, don’t hit me with that (sHe Is A wOmAn nOw, ItS wRoNg (in a s**ual way) If the daughter is okay with it, then its not s**ual harassment or anything like that.

Its the love of a parent for his kid, which awesome af! I mean I’m an 16 year old male, and I still let my family hug and cuddle with me. Because I love them. And the only thing it makes me is realize that they love me too.. So, clearly not the A**hole!

G0atDrag0n −  NTA I’m 21 f**king years old and if given the chance I will cuddle my dad. Why? Because I LOVE HIM. I love him and my mum and I love to kiss and cuddle them whenever I can! Cuddles is a love language you both speak! It’s platonic intimacy! It’s peak mutual bonding! F**K, and I cannot stress this enough, them.

You have an actual, mutual, loving bond with your teenage daughter. So many parents would kill for that! I mean, yeah what you said was rude, but don’t apologize to them unless they’ll apologize back for trying to invalidate your bond with your child. And for perpetuating toxic masculinity. But make sure you only apologize for using the f bomb, they’re in the wrong here.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. That’s your daughter!! Jeez What they were insinuating was disgusting, what’s inappropriate about showing affection to your children? I don’t care if they’re 5 or 50. If that’s the relationship you have with them and they’re happy with it, it’s no one else’s business. I think you were right in your reaction, sometimes the insinuation is so egregious that only a ‘f**k you’ will do.

LordCharles01 −  NTA. Let’s be real for a moment, everyone freaked out by this is saying it’s because you’re a dad and she’s your daughter. I’d be willing to bet if you were a mother there wouldn’t be a conversation to have.

At any rate, no it’s not weird, it’s not creepy, the parent holding their kid and bonding. (not to mention the plethora of chemical reactions that go off in the brain that I can’t even begin to get into in one post) People just need to get over themselves.

sh1nes −  NTA, and if your wife busts your balls about apologizing you should say outright, “do you understand what you’re insinuating here? like literally one of the worst things a person can do. You should apologize to me”. Your reaction was totally appropriate considering what they were suggesting.