AITA for telling my whole family at my moms birthday that we are expecting a baby, even though my sister in law has been trying but not successful. ?

A Reddit user shares their story of announcing their pregnancy at their mother’s birthday party, despite knowing that their sister-in-law had been struggling with fertility issues.

Although they told her the news privately beforehand to soften the impact, their relationship with her deteriorated afterward, and she now avoids them and doesn’t allow their children to interact. Read the full story below to understand how this family dynamic evolved and why tensions still linger.

‘ AITA for telling my whole family at my moms birthday that we are expecting a baby, even though my sister in law has been trying but not successful. ?’

My girlfriend and I decided we wanted to share our wonderful news with the whole family and surprise my mom on her birthday that she’d be having another grandchild. We were aware of my sister in laws difficulty so we decided to tell her ahead of time so it wasn’t such a big blow when she found out.

Ever since sharing this information we have been treated like lepers by the her. If we walk into a room she avoids and retreats to another location. Her and my girlfriend used to be friendly too but then treated us like we never existed.

This has continued for a couple years after having my child as well. They now have a child of their own but she still treats us this way and removes any opportunity for the two kids to play and socialize together.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

HowlPen −  NAH. This has been going on for years? And they have a kid? This probably isn’t about your announcement at your mom’s birthday party. If it is, did she ask you not to make an announcement at the party and you went ahead and did anyhow? Not following why you think that is the root of the problem. 

rollingthrulife79 −  If it’s been going on for this long, it can’t just be the announcement. There must be a bigger issue.

Optimal-Bag-5918 −  It was very considerate of you to tell her ahead of time so she was aware and not blind-sighted by the news. Any personal grudges or hurt she is feeling is unfortunately her own, and you should not feel bad.

pottersquash −  NAH. You can’t demand she be your friend. Your presuming this is the reason, but it could be something else.

PreviousPin597 −  YTA for never bothering to find out what’s really going on and just making this assumption for years, apparently. 

andromache97 −  INFO: so this was apparently years ago? how do you even know that’s still the issue between you two? have you ever tried to talk to them about it?

lickmysackett −  YTA – Because your story doesn’t add up and it clearly isn’t the root of the issue.

Cappa_Cail −  NAH Have you simply just asked her why the change of behaviour?

Jerseygirl2468 −  If she’s avoided you for YEARS, including after they had their own child, it wasn’t about the pregnancy announcement, there’s something else. Unless you stood up and said “unlike SIL, we are giving you a grandchild!”

ElectricalCall- −  Could you ask her what the deal is?

Do you think the Redditor’s decision to announce their news at the party was insensitive, or were they trying their best to handle a tough situation? How would you balance sharing happy news while being considerate of a loved one’s struggles? Share your thoughts below!