AITA for telling my skinny friend that she’s obese?
A Reddit user shared a story about confronting a friend who often makes jokes about her weight and constantly seeks reassurance about her own body. After months of comments and one particularly uncomfortable moment, the user told her friend she looked “fatter” than her in an attempt to address the behavior directly. Read the full story below to see if you think she handled it the right way.
‘ AITA for telling my skinny friend that she’s obese?’
Hi, me and my friend are both 17F btw. I’m obese, nearly morbidly obese according to the internet. I don’t really care about that stuff because I think self love is more important and Im happy with my weight, but it’s kinda an important part. My friend Maria is average, if not quite skinny. She’s made fun of my weight before, but she always says it’s just a joke.
She constantly asks everyone in her friend group if she’s fat, I understand being insecure but it’s genuinely really excess and it’s weekly while we’re eating lunch at this point. She never eats her lunch and always throws it away, then points to mine and tells me that im eating so much and that even half of that would fill her up.
She’s said this everyday for the past 3 or 4 months. I don’t think she’s on a diet or anything either she just makes weird comments like that a lot. Today she asked to try my jacket on because she was cold, I thought she was actually cold but after she said “oh my god this is so huge on me …
does this actually fit you” obviously im paraphrasing i don’t remember exactly, but my other friends started to laugh. I told her that she does look fat, and she looks fatter than me. And that my jacket fits her really well.
She got quiet and changed the subject, but tonight she messaged me and asked me why I would say that when I know she’s insecure. I told her that Im tired of her fishing for compliments and being rude to me because of my weight.
She said that Im just jealous of her and she left me on seen. I asked my parents for advice but they agree with her and think I was very rude, but I don’t know how else I would’ve made it stop
Here’s how people reacted to the post:
RevRagnarok − ESH and why would you consider her your “friend?” Obviously she’s a giant AH towards you. And it’s also nearly as obvious that she has some kind of eating disorder and you just went and poked that sore spot.. —-
Edit: I’m not reading all the responses, sorry. Somebody did mention if justified it shouldn’t be this vote, but the FAQ seems to say otherwise. In one of the _very early_ sub-comments, I did explicitly note: Somebody is an AH to you, you be one back and use whatever ammunition you have available. But you’re still being an AH, justifiably. So it’s still ESH.
dessertkiller − A couple of things-
1. get a new friend, this one’s broken.
2. “self love” is about so much more than being happy with yourself. It’s about loving yourself enough to make sacrifices and decisions that are hard, like eating healthier and getting good exercise, and if you need to, finding out if there’s a medical reason for your weight. Those things are self love. Love yourself enough to do those things, they’re important.
3. sounds like she had it coming. gonna be snarky, better be able to take snarky.. NTA. Edit: Thank you for the rewards, I’d never gotten any before, I really appreciate it! Great start to start to the last day of my work week.
Gnardashians − I’ll probably get downvoted, but I think she had it coming. This was a good lesson for her. If she is insecure and knows what that feels like, why would she want to make you the target of the same feeling? She sounds passive aggressive and like a bad friend. Why is it okay for her to call attention to your weight and make all these slick comments? She earned that
Business-Let-7754 − Thank god I’m not 17 anymore.
Edit: One kiloupvote for this one lol. Being 17 is hell.
sunshiney69 − NTA. That’s fuckin funny as f**k tbh. Her eating disorder doesn’t give her a pass on b**lying people, and you beat a mean girl at her own game (as evidenced by her claiming you’re jealous of her, their last hail mary)
thewhiterosequeen − I’m obese, nearly morbidly obese according to the internet.. What about a doctor? I don’t really care about that stuff because I think self love is more important. You shouldn’t feel ashame, but it is objectively unhealthy and you should absolutely care about it. ESH for the mean catty hurtful comments though.
myguitarplaysit − From what you’ve said, it sounds like she may have an eating disorder. She’s constantly body checking, she’s obsessed with how much she eats and eating a little bit of food causes her to feel full. I understand your frustration with her because if she’s going to make “jokes” about your body, she’s gotta be okay with it too. That said, sounds like she needs to see someone about her issues. NTA
Peony-Pony − NTA Your friend’s insecurities are not your problem. And using you as a stooge so she can make demeaning comments about your weight to make her feel better about herself is beyond annoying. You put up with her ridiculing you long enough. The opportunity to shut her down occurred and you took it. Oh well, maybe she’ll think twice before she tries to disparage someone else to make herself feel better.
[Reddit User] − Don’t talk no s**t, won’t be no s**t. She started it. NTA
Aestro17 − ESH – It sounds like you’ve put up with a lot for far longer than you needed to. It’s very understandable where your response came from, but it was still meeting meanness with meanness. Your friend needed to be put in her place and made to understand that you don’t like being the b**t of her jokes, but you also did dig in at the insecurities you know are driving this.
Do you think the Redditor’s response was justified after enduring repeated comments, or was it too harsh? How would you handle a friend who makes constant remarks about body image? Share your thoughts below!