AITA for telling my sister she’s not allowed to bring her homemade food to Thanksgiving because her cooking is ruining the meal?

A Redditor hosting Thanksgiving finds herself in a tough spot when her sister insists on bringing her notoriously experimental dishes, despite past failed attempts. To maintain a cohesive and enjoyable meal, she asked her sister to contribute non-food items instead.

However, her sister took offense, leading to family drama over what’s acceptable at the holiday table. Read the full story below to decide if the host’s request was too controlling or perfectly reasonable.

‘ AITA for telling my sister she’s not allowed to bring her homemade food to Thanksgiving because her cooking is ruining the meal?’

Every year, our family does a big Thanksgiving dinner, and we all typically bring a dish or two. My sister, who’s a lovely person in every other way, insists on cooking something homemade every time. The issue? She’s… not a great cook.

And I don’t mean just “not great”—I mean she has somehow managed to turn classic dishes into borderline inedible creations.
For context, last Thanksgiving, she showed up with her “special recipe” stuffing that was over-seasoned with random spices like cinnamon and cardamom.

It was dry, and the flavors were confusing and totally off for stuffing. Only one person took a small bite, and the rest went untouched. Another year, she brought a green bean casserole that had some kind of strange, chewy texture—she later admitted she used coconut milk and almond flour “to experiment.”

No one wanted seconds of that, either. This year, I’m hosting Thanksgiving. Since I’m responsible for putting it all together, I wanted to keep the menu consistent so that people could actually enjoy a cohesive meal. I thought I’d avoid drama by asking her to bring non-food items instead—like wine, soda, or even some flowers.

I explained to her (very kindly, I thought) that I just wanted to make things easy and streamlined, and I’d handle the main dishes. But she didn’t take it well. She got offended and told me I was being “controlling” and “shutting her out” of the family gathering.

She then accused me of making her feel inadequate and said that Thanksgiving is about everyone contributing, not me deciding what’s “acceptable.” I told her that everyone appreciates her effort, but that she could contribute in other ways and still be part of it.

She doubled down and said she’s bringing her “famous” green bean casserole whether I like it or not. Now, my mom and a couple of other family members have chimed in, saying I should just let her bring whatever she wants because “it’s Thanksgiving” and “it’s the thought that counts.”

They’re acting like I’m committing some huge offense by wanting the food to be enjoyable for everyone and not have random experimental dishes that no one will eat. But I feel like I’m just trying to keep the meal enjoyable and, frankly, edible.

I don’t think it’s wrong to want guests to actually enjoy the food, especially since I’m putting in a lot of effort to host. Am I really being unreasonable here? AITA?

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Rowana133 −  Just let her bring the green bean casserole and make an actually edible one as backup. It’s not worth it to die on this hill.
Edit after seeing OPs update. Glittered sweet potatoes? What in the unholy hell spawn is THAT?! I’m scared about the oysters.

My advice now would be to make so much food that there is absolutely NO room on the table and have her set up her trio somewhere else away from the normal people food. Or cancel it and have someone else host. She’s doing it to disrespect YOU in your home so maybe it’s not worth it

Natural_War1261 −  Let her bring it. Maybe she’s been practicing and it’s good.. If not, maybe she’ll get the hint.

ececacademic −  INFO: how does your sister react when no one eats her food? If she reacts poorly, tries to push people to try or have seconds and is generally a sourpuss about it, then I think suggesting she take control of wines/crisps/non-baked goods is sensible.

But if she doesn’t comment or make a big deal, then it really doesn’t sound like her cooking badly does any harm. No one eats it, she feels like she’s contributed, and all it takes is throwing away the food at the end.

Minimal hassle for a peaceful holiday that everyone enjoys. My brother can’t cook, but it’s tradition that everyone brings something. We just make sure that he’s not the only one bringing that type of dish.

If he’s on potatoes, trust me, at least one other person is as well. Two types of potatoes never hurts anyone, and it solves the issue when he doubtlessly brings something else so unappealingly inedible that most refuse to try it (now, we used to try).

ParkingOutside6500 −  Let her do it. Her bad cooking is a tradition. Just make another vegetable that people WILL eat.

Impressive-Arm2563 −  A soft YTA. Just let her bring what she wants. It’s not hurting you, you don’t have to eat it. It might even be fun to pretend it’s the best thing ever and throw some away when she isn’t looking, to make her feel good. It could be part of the traditional holiday experience.

Imaginary-Yak-6487 −  Let her bring it, then she can take it back home.

sarahjustme −  Why do you care? It sounds like the “control” issue might be a long standing issue, Thanksgiving isn’t the time to have a show down.

Kristmaus −  Soft YTA. She enjoys cooking, brings her meal, and for what you have written, doesn’t throw a tantrum if nobody eats her dish… so what’s the main issue you have with her food?

It looks like you are A BIT controlling, for the words you use (“cohesive meal”, “consistent menu”, “enjoyable”… since when a badly cooked dish ruins an entire meal if nobody is being forced to eat it?)

CrystalQueen3000 −  YTA. It’s one dish that everybody knows is bad and won’t eat, why is it a big deal

fightmydemonswithme −  Based on other comments, it sounds like her pushing people to eat is the issue you have. I’d be firm in that people shouldn’t be pushed to eat anything, but let her bring some kind of food. If she gets pushy then you remind her gently people will take what they want.

Was the Redditor right to prioritize the quality of the meal, or should she have let her sister bring her unique dish in the spirit of inclusivity? How would you handle a family member’s controversial contributions to holiday meals? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below!