AITA for telling my sister she can’t bring her dog to my wedding?

A woman (29F) is planning her wedding and has told her sister (27F) that she cannot bring her dog, Charlie, to the event. Charlie is a 4-year-old rescue dog with anxiety issues, and her sister claims he is her emotional support animal.

The wedding will be in a small indoor venue with around 100 people, and the bride is allergic to dogs. She suggested her sister hire a dog sitter. The sister is upset, accusing the bride of being insensitive and ableist, while their parents are divided on the issue. The bride is questioning whether she’s being reasonable. Read the original story below…

‘ AITA for telling my sister she can’t bring her dog to my wedding?’

My (29F) wedding is in two months, and my fiancé (31M) and I are deep in planning. My sister, “Ella” (27F), has a dog, Charlie, that she absolutely adores. Charlie is a 4-year-old rescue and has a lot of anxiety issues, including barking at strangers and getting o**rwhelmed in loud or crowded places.

Ella has been very open about how Charlie is her “emotional support” and doesn’t like to go anywhere without him. I respect that. But when she asked if she could bring him to my wedding, I told her no. Here’s why: My wedding is in a small indoor venue with around 100 people.

It’s formal, with nice decorations, music, speeches, etc. I don’t see how having a nervous, barking dog would fit into that environment. I’m also allergic to dogs—not severely, but enough that if I’m near one for too long, my eyes get itchy, and I start sneezing.

I explained this to Ella and suggested she hire a dog sitter for the day. She was upset and told me I’m being “insensitive” to her needs. She said Charlie helps her with her anxiety and that asking her to leave him behind for a whole day is unfair.

She even went so far as to suggest I was being ableist (she’s not officially diagnosed with any disability, by the way). I tried to stay calm and told her this wasn’t personal. It’s not that I dislike her or Charlie; it’s just that this is my wedding day,

and I don’t want to deal with added stress, especially since I already have allergies. I also pointed out that the venue has a strict no-pets policy unless it’s a certified service animal, which Charlie isn’t. Ella cried, said I’m choosing a venue over her, and accused me of not caring about her mental health.

My parents are divided. My mom says Ella needs to learn to compromise, but my dad says I’m being harsh and that “it’s just one day.” My fiancé is firmly on my side but said I should be prepared for Ella to hold a grudge. So, AITA for standing my ground here? I feel like I’m being reasonable, but Ella’s reaction is making me second-guess myself.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

CrimsonKnight_004 −  NTA – You could technically turn her “ableism” argument around on her since allergies are covered under the ADA. It’s hysterical that your dad is telling you that you’re being harsh when it’s “just one day,” when that should apply to your sister, not you.

For *her* it’s just one day, for *you* it’s supposed to be the most special day of your life centered around you and your partner. I am also an extremely anxious person who would love to have my dogs with me everywhere I go.

I also know that neither of my dogs are trained service animals and are not equipped to accompany me everywhere I go, that my anxiety is my responsibility, and I manage it the best I can while my dogs stay home. It’s also not good for an anxious dog like hers to be exposed to so many people like that.

She knows he doesn’t do well in that environment, so she shouldn’t insist he be anywhere *he* is uncomfortable and anxious enough to where he’ll be disruptive to everyone present. That’s not looking out for her own pet or the other guests.

This is your and your partner’s day. It’s not “just” one day, it is *your* day. You shouldn’t have to worry about a dog barking at guests, causing you to experience allergies, and making drama with your chosen venue, when your focus should just be on enjoying your day.

RocknRight −  NTA. I love my dog .. I consider myself OTT with her (she’s also a rescue) ..There are several reasons why you are justified in saying no. Does your sister have any medical cert saying that Charlie is indeed an emotional support animal??

Otherwise_Subject667 −  An emotional support dog is not legally a service animal and isnt recognized as one by the Americans with Disabilities act or ADA for short. That means people dont get to pull the whole “I need them for my anxiety card” any pet that you keep for your own enjoyment is providing you with Emotional support.

That doesn’t mean that everyones pets should be allowed to accompany them everywhere. It is people who think this way that cause all the problems REAL Service animals face when trying to do their jobs out in public.

Plus you are allergic to her dog as someone who claims to have a medical condition that requires the dog in the first place she should practice having empathy for people with medical conditions different to her like your allergies. She seems to want the sympathy yet doesnt want to offer it herself to accommodate you at your wedding that shes a guest at.

LoveBeach8 −  NTA You’re the bride and you get the final say when it comes to the rules that you have set. Your fiance supports you and that’s enough.
Tell her in no uncertain terms that her dog is not allowed to attend YOUR wedding.

Make sure she doesn’t sneak her dog in, either, by alerting your wedding party. She can attend your wedding without her beloved pet or the two of them can stay home. That’s her choice.

Mindless-Pangolin841 −  I swear we get the same question with little to no variation at least twice a month. Answer is always the same. If the dog is a well trained medical device and you tried to keep her from using it then you would be an AH.. Any other scenario, you’re NTA

Ikillsquirrels −  Let your dad stay home with the dog

Low_Echidna3042 −  NTA. You don’t have to list all the reasons. It’s your wedding and you don’t want the dog there. The end. Plus I think most guests don’t want an anxious animal around them especially when they are dressed up and celebrating at a beautiful wedding. Ella is selfish and making this about her. She can get married and have her wedding centre around her and her dog.

Trespassingw −  NTA. I feel crazy over such stories about people believing their undertrained pets should be treated like cutie humans by everyone

goldenfingernails −  Ella is twenty-f**king-seven years old. She’s crying about her dog not being allowed? NTA. Let her hold a grudge. She’s acting like a 10 year old.

What do you think? Share your thoughts below!