AITA for telling my SIL no cares that she’s pregnant?

A Redditor (early 30s) attended their cousin’s funeral after she tragically lost her husband and two young children in a car accident. During the somber occasion, the Redditor’s sister-in-law (26F) announced her pregnancy and constantly made the attention about herself, even making insensitive remarks to the grieving family.

After she made an inappropriate comment to the cousin, the Redditor snapped, telling her to leave. Now, the Redditor’s family is calling them out for making the pregnant woman cry, but others are thankful for standing up. Read the original story below…

‘ AITA for telling my SIL no cares that she’s pregnant?’

Backstory my cousin (33f) who I’ll call mary lost her husband (32m) and two of her three children (3f) and (9months male) in a car accident last week. Her and her daughter (5) are as you would expect it’s just heartbreaking.

Well today was the funeral my brother’s wife (26) announced her pregnancy the second the arrived at our house this morning we were like “ok congratulations but please keep it on the down low for today”.

Well when we arrived at the church she kept making gagging sounds and robbing her stomach saying “I as a mom can’t imagine what she is going through” they have no kids so people would look at her and she’d tell them she was pregnant.

Afterwards at my aunts house my sil kept making everything about her like someone’s in the bathroom sil would loudly say “pregnant lady needs to pee”. She literally told my cousins sister give her, her seat so “the lady with a baby could rest her feet”.

I ignored her till she came to Mary stuck out her flat belly and said “me and Issac just found out I was pregnant and honestly we are beside ourselves it could happen to us” Mary broke down. I snapped like who says that to a woman who just literally lost two babies??

I said loudly to my sil “no gives a f**k you’re pregnant look around it’s not just one but two babies funerals not to mention the love of Mary’s life like I knew you were an attention seeker but for f**k sake you took the test four days ago just leave”. she left did in tears and my bother called me a fat bitter b**ch.

I’ve gotten phone calls form my bother and sil family calling me the world of name because I made a pregnant woman cry. If I’m being honest even tho Mary and my aunt thanked me because it was all making her upset I feel worse about making a scene. Please put me in my place if I’m wrong.

So little update I found out this morning brother and sil harassed my cousin with phone calls for her to talk to me about yesterday. My aunt gave both of them an ear full than made my cousin turned off her phone my brother and sil were at my parents house trying to get their side in (parents are on my side) when I arrived .

They both came at me screaming and yelling about sil feelings and she could miscarry from the stress I caused her again i told them a Funeral especially one for two children isn’t the time to announce a pregnancy and get the f**k out of my face . Sil said if I didn’t lose my attitude and apologise I’d never be in their child’s Life.

i told her I didn’t care and if she was gonna use the kid as weapon i didn’t want to be in it’s life things got heated and my father ended up kicking out my brother and sil so yeah all this drama at a time we should be there for one another. And to the people asking in the comments and dms you can use this story I want my bother to find it and read the comments.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

thievingwillow −  This is one of those where I read the title and went “I can’t imagine how you could not be the a**hole” and then read the post and went “….oh.” NTA. I am not normally a scene-making person, but this is the kind of thing that making a scene is *for*.

I am not normally one for publicly shaming someone but this is what public shame is *for*. Sometimes someone’s behavior is so far beyond the pale that the kindest and most righteous act for everyone else involved is to *make a g**damn scene*. Which you did.

I’m so glad you were there to stand up for your cousin. Your poor cousin, your poor cousin’s daughter, reading this made me feel just absolutely sick for them. I’ll be lighting a candle for them (and the rest of your family) today.

arseholierthanthou −  NTA. Things like that aren’t things you regret saying, they’re things you’d regret not saying.

alphorilex −  It sounds like your family is going through a really hard time. Your SIL was being insensitive and behaving poorly. Under the circumstances, you can absolutely forgive yourself for losing your temper. Your cousin must have been distraught.. NTA.

Chicagobeauty −  Your SIL is LITERALLY THE WORST! NTA x 1000 and I hope Mary is being checked on because that is literally heart wrenching. I’m 15w pregnant and that would be LITERALLY THE LAST PLACE I would ever announce my pregnancy.

I would try to avoid that conversation as much as humanly possible just for respect. And the fact that it’s not just a normal funeral….a f**king triple awful funeral. Wow. I am speechless.

AdministrationThis77 −  My absolute best to your cousin and her daughter! And to you. What a d**adful thing to happen. Internet rando here will try to pass on good vibes. NTA. Your SIL was so disgustingly out of line. I would honestly go NC with her and your brother. That behavior was the most horrendous thing I’ve read – and this is Reddit.

DwightMcRamathorn −  NTA. She’s a monster. Did your brother say anything to her?

NoiseProvesNothing −  I cannot find any mitigating circumstances for how your SIL behaved and I’m really good at being able to see multiple sides to any situation. I’m frankly appalled.

Her behaviour would have been obnoxious if the gathering had been a family birthday brunch. That it was a funeral, for multiple people including _babies_, made it shocking. NTA. Someone needed to shut her down. Sorry it had to be you.

boojangles02 −  Can you call her back to make her cry again? NTA

DisembarkEmbargo −  NTA. They are allowed to happy that they are expecting a child, but definitely could have waited another week or month to make announcements. It also seems she isn’t far along and should have wait to make announcements.

fishwithsticks −  So they’re calling you names for making her cry. But they don’t seem to care that SIL made MARY break down at the funeral of 60% of her family. SIL needs an attitude adjustment, and it looks like you gave it to her. NTA

It’s a delicate balance between respecting others’ emotions and dealing with insensitivity at the worst times. Was the Redditor justified in calling out their sister-in-law, or did they take it too far? What would you have done in their shoes? Let us know your thoughts in the comments!