AITA for telling my roommate that I was going to call the cops on his friend if she didn’t leave our house immediately despite her seeking refuge from her a**sive boyfriend?

A Redditor recovering from a medical issue that has triggered stress-induced seizures recounts a tense situation involving their roommate. The roommate’s friend, with a history of conflict and yelling, sought refuge from an abusive boyfriend but was not welcome due to the stress she had caused in the past.

Despite clear boundaries, the roommate let her in, causing the Redditor to experience a seizure and ultimately threatening to call the police if she didn’t leave. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for telling my roommate that I was going to call the cops on his friend if she didn’t leave our house immediately despite her seeking refuge from her a**sive boyfriend?’

Previously the two of them had attempted to date, and she is jealous of me (I am married to someone else) and this has prompted her to scream at him multiple times within my ear shot. This made them break up, since the yelling was so consistent and often and triggering.

I have forbidden her from coming into my home in the past because this screaming has happened in my home and it resulted in me having a shaking stress reaction. A week ago I had a botched medical procedure that has resulted in me newly developing repeated seizures that get worse with stress and I just got discharged from the hospital this morning.

Today she came over begging him to come inside saying that her boyfriend is abusing her and that she doesn’t have anyone to go to. I told him absolutely not, he let her in anyway. The way I see it, if she hadn’t burnt every single bridge she ever crossed by being a huge b**ch, then she would have a ton of people to go to since she grew up in this town.

It’s not his problem to take care of her, nor is it mine. she’s a grown adult, and even then, her parents and grand parents live in this town. Upon knowing that she entered my home, it prompted me to have a partial seizure. I told him if he didn’t make her leave immediately, I would call the police and they would remove her forcibly. He complied. I feel terrible, but I also feel like I had to stand up for myself to keep my home a safe space for myself.. Am I the a**hole?.

TL;DR My roommate let his friend who yells basically every time they interact, and is jealous of me despite me being married to someone else, into our home. I had a surgery that left me having repeated seizures a week ago, and her presence gave me a partial seizure from stress.

I told him if he didn’t make her leave I’d call the police to have her forcibly removed, despite her seeking help from him due to her a**sive boyfriend despite her whole family living in this town.. Am I the a**hole?

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

GoldenJaguar1995 −  NTA. This is a medical condition that you’re concerned of, if she wants to be this pleading then she can clearly go to her parent’s home and seek refuged. There’s also an actual women’s shelter and many more accurate ways to help her instead of running to y’all.

LouisV25 −  NTA. You don’t need the drama after surgery.

TheOne8675309 −  How are you married and living with someone else? I’m curious because most married people live with their spouse.

Huge-Inspection2610 −  Who owns the home?..Are u both on lease?.. If u own the home and renting him a room NTA, just kick him out.. If your both sharing or on a lease together what right do u have to say who he invites over?.. It’s his place to!

kit0000033 −  You’re NTA for not wanting her in your house, but I’m just here to tell you, if your roommate decided to let her stay anyways, there is literally nothing the police can do. Your roommate has the same rights as you do to have visitors over. Barring having a protection order, calling the police won’t get you anywhere.

InternationalCard624 −  INFO: who owns the property and does your roommate pay rent?

oceanhomesteader −  I’d be curious to see the landlord tenant legislation where you live – it would be pretty rare to have language in there that allows one tenant to block the guests of another. What do you expect the police to do when the other legal tenant tells them “this is my guest and they were invited in” – it’s a civil issue and they won’t do anything

RhyssaFireheart −  Frankly, this seems sus to me because if you had a botched medical procedure that resulted in seizures, I’m doubting them letting you out of the hospital in only a week.

Hell, my husband is on blood thinners and getting him out of the hospital before his INR is therapeutic can take a week on it’s own, much less any recovery from what he was admitted for. And that’s for something he’s been self-managing just fine for over 5 years. If true, then NTA for not allowing someone who is disruptive to the household to stay there for any reason.

GenxBaby2 −  ESH If you want to exclude people from your home you need to live alone.  It is not reasonable to expect to be able to vet who your roommate allows into his and your home, nor for him to vet who you let in. He sounds like a nice guy but is being inconsiderate.  She sounds like a nightmare. 

witchofrosehall −  INFO: who owns the house and what’s your lease situation like? And where’s your husband in all of this?

Was the Redditor justified in standing firm to protect their health and boundaries, or should they have been more accommodating given the friend’s dangerous situation? How would you balance personal health with someone else’s crisis? Share your perspective below!