AITA for telling my roommate his girlfriend can’t stay over every weekend after she ate all my food—again?
A tenant rents a room from a friend but is growing frustrated with his roommate’s girlfriend, who stays over every weekend and frequently eats his food without permission. Despite attempts to address the issue indirectly, the roommate dismisses the concerns, justifying his girlfriend’s behavior since he pays rent.
After the roommate’s girlfriend consumes a meal the tenant had planned for lunch, he firmly tells his roommate that she can’t stay over so often without contributing to groceries. Now, the roommate is upset and giving him the cold shoulder. Read the original story below…
‘ AITA for telling my roommate his girlfriend can’t stay over every weekend after she ate all my food—again?’
So, I own my apartment and rent out the second room to a buddy of mine. Everything was cool at first, but lately, his girlfriend has been staying over every weekend. I wouldn’t mind so much if it wasn’t for the fact that every time she’s here, she helps herself to my stuff—mainly my food.
I meal prep for the week, and I buy my own groceries. It’s not like I don’t share sometimes, but I’ve noticed that after every weekend she’s here, a bunch of my food is gone. Snacks, leftovers, even stuff like my eggs and bread—just gone. I’ve tried hinting at it, like casually mentioning how much food I go through, but it keeps happening.
Last weekend, I had a really long week at work, so I treated myself to some nice takeout and planned to save half of it for lunch the next day. The next morning, I open the fridge, and it’s gone. I texted my roommate, and he said, “Oh, my girlfriend was hungry, so she ate it. Sorry, man.”
That was the last straw. I told him we needed to talk and said that while I’m okay with her visiting sometimes, she can’t keep staying over every weekend and eating my food. I told him it’s not fair, especially since she’s not contributing to groceries or utilities.
He got defensive, saying that since he pays rent, she should be able to stay over whenever, and I’m making a big deal out of “just a few snacks.” I stood my ground and told him she needs to stop coming over so often unless they start buying their own food and being more considerate.
Now, he’s pissed at me, and I’m getting the cold shoulder. AITA for putting my foot down after his girlfriend kept eating all my food?
Take a look at the comments from fellow users:
KaliTheBlaze − NTA. But dude, don’t hint. Hinting often fails and then everyone ends up irritated, because you hold it in until you snap and the other person may not understand you have a problem until you’re well and truly mad at them, so they feel like you went 0 to 60 in a heartbeat.
Clear, assertive communication is a far better way to go about things, especially with a roommate.
Gloomy-Adeptness7553 − NTA. Its your food but at the same time instead of ‘hinting’ about your missing food I think you shouldve straight-up told her that you’d appreciate it if she stopped helping herself to something thats yours. If she continues to do it after that then it becomes a problem.
piqueboo369 − NTA. Your friend is pissed because his girlfriend can only stay at your appartment if she doesn’t steal and if she’ll start being considerate. How on earth would that be a unreasonable request?
fallingintopolkadots − NTA. The audacity of going into someone’s home and just…..eating any and all of their food. I have to wonder if it’s the gf who’s idea this was and / or if your roommate is all “anything in the fridge you want, babe,” and she takes him at his word.
Just based on the fact that I’ve dated a number of guys who basically barely had any snacks around and seem shocked when I’d be hungry at random times. If they lived with roommates never ever did I assume I was just free to take any food that I saw.
Maybe it’s the audacity of the gf or maybe it’s your roommate who needs to actually plan to provide food to his girlfriend and have the balls to clarify what she can or cannot it. A pro tip for him would be to have the kind of food she likes around.
LightPhotographer − Charge him for it.. He is freeloading on your food. Charge him for meals at a takeout rate – because now your mealprep is gone – maybe that opens his eyes.
tiny-pest − Nta. Yes, he pays rent. Rent does not include him inviting people over to help themselves to food he has not paid for and is not included in the rent. Instead of him saying sorry and that he will make sure it doesn’t happen again, he doubled down.
Personally, I would start looking at not renewing his lease or giving him a time to move out and making sure it happens. I say this because he has just shown you he cares not that his gf is costing you money and time. That she is making you go hungry because she wants free food. Also, why is he not staying at her place as well.
Sounds like in the future sooner than later, he would have just over her in. Also, he is paying rent for himself. What about the increase in her staying as often as she does. In water and electricity. While it might not be a lot in some places, it can be hundreds more depending on what she is using and doing.
mrmkv1990 − NTA. If they can’t respect your stuff I would tell him to find somewhere else to live honestly, you’re not running a bed and breakfast
areyukittenm3 − You charge rent right? So why don’t you tell him they are not allowed to eat your food, and if they do you will increase his rent accordingly to accommodate for groceries. Frankly though I would be looking to kick out someone who had the nerve to allow their guests to consistently eat my food.
DaygloAnus − NTA. Very reasonable request, and his reaction seems disproportionate to me. Maybe once things have cooled a little, reiterate as nicely as possible that it’s not personal, just that your food is important to you and they both need to respect that.
You shouldn’t have to be that nice imo, but keep the peace in your home! If it then continues to happen, I think that’s a sign of a wider issue about trust and boundaries.. Good luck, OP!
PurelyPanic14 − Absolutely NTA! I’ve had s**t roommates that steal mine or others food and would then outright lie even when we had proof. But these were random people we didn’t know beforehand. I wouldn’t be surprised if the gf is being told the food is either the friends or communal.
Next time they’re both there, sit them down and have a proper conversation with both of them. Say you had no problem with the gf staying over, until she started stealing from you. And now you’re reevaluating.
If they’re going to continue to steal your food then charge them more rent to compensate. (I’m also of the opinion that if a partner is essentially living there, they need to pay as well) And it’s one thing to use like a couple slices from a loaf and 1-2 eggs out of a dozen but to actually take what is already an entire meal.
That’s plain messed up. They’re taking your money, time and energy and that’s not right. I hope all goes well, it would be a shame to lose a mate but if he shows his true colours at least you know where you stand (and can start looking for a roommate that won’t cross boundaries). Good luck to ya!
Is it reasonable for the tenant to set boundaries regarding his food and the frequency of his roommate’s girlfriend’s visits, or is he being overly strict? What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments!