AITA for telling my parents their marriage is sad and that they need to get a divorce?

A Redditor (14F) shared her frustration about her parents’ constant fighting and their repeated threats of divorce. Tired of the ongoing tension, she told them their marriage was “sad” and suggested they follow through with divorce, only to face backlash from both parents. Her mom felt insulted, and her dad stopped speaking to her, leaving her questioning if she overstepped. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for telling my parents their marriage is sad and that they need to get a divorce?’

I (14F) am the youngest child of my mother, who we’ll call Ma (46F) and my father, who we’ll call Pa (45M), my parents have been married for 20 years, and their relationship is anything but pretty. Ever since I was really young, my parents fought over the stupidest of things, and every single time, pa was always the reason for their fights, since he always found a reason to be upset.

Yesterday, ma and pa had spent the entire morning fighting and yelling about something that I don’t even know since I wasn’t really paying attention, but what I heard was my dad was threatening a divorce, and my mom was saying they should get one.

They always say they’re gonna get a divorce, but they end up not doing so. So as they were fighting and threatening each other with divorce, I had walked out of my bedroom and said that they should get the divorce because their marriage is sad and that I’m getting tired of hearing them fight over stupid stuff.

My mom said I went too far insulting their marriage by calling it “sad”, and my dad is not talking to me because of what I said. I feel like I am in the wrong because it’s not my place to tell my parents what they should and shouldn’t do with their marriage, but I also feel like I’m not in the wrong because I am righteously upset since they’ve been fighting since I was really young.. AITA?

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Next-Wishbone1404 −  I’m so sorry. I was in a similar position. YOU are a person in that house. Loud fights affect YOU. You are not a little kid anymore, and you have every right to let them know how their fighting affects you. I wouldn’t be hopeful that your opinion carries any weight with them, but you have every right to express it.. ETA judgement: NTA, clearly.

angelicstarbreeze −  Your parents are mad bc you called out the truth they’re avoiding. Parents who stay together “for the kids” often do more harm than good.

springflora −  NTA. Do your best to recognize that this isn’t healthy and make sure that your own future relationships don’t mirror what they have going on. It’s a sad cycle that’s easy to get trapped in.

A-Strange-Peg −  NTA in my book but personally I’d avoid saying anything around either of those two. From your short narrative. it seems they both just live to find something to fuel their fight anger. In this respect, they may be perfect for each other. Meanwhile, use earplugs/buds. doors, get the best education you can and in a few years, move out and create your own peaceable kingdom.

Lekkaaa1__ −  I have been in a similar position, you are NTA, they shouldn’t argue in front of kids.

sallyblue94 −  Wow. When the child acts like an adult and the adults throw a tantrum. NTA.

Ok-Algae7932 −  NTA. My parents fought loudly, often, and sometimes violently, while my brothers and i would try and pretend nothing was happening in our bedrooms. When our mom wanted to leave, we encouraged her, but she didn’t have the financial means to do so as a SAHM with her closest family half a world away (this is the foundation for my support of Universal Basic Income.)

You’re holding up a mirror to them, and they don’t like what they see and are taking it out on you. It’s the parents job to maintain their relationship while trying to keep it separate from their children. The long-term impacts of their fighting may show up in how you manage relationships in the future. I’m sorry that you’re going through this.

Prior_Lobster_5240 −  NTA. You don’t air out your dirty laundry in front of everyone and then get offended when someone says it stinks. I’m sorry your parents s**k. I’m sorry you’re growing up in a home that isn’t showing you what healthy relationships look like. Your parents should have done better. You deserve better

lovescarats −  NTA, they obviously do not care that this has a negative impact on you. You have s**t parents. They seem to like their dysfunction.

PositiveAd9988 −  NTA. You might feel like it’s ‘not your place’ but their marriage is affecting you too. It can harm you too, so why shouldn’t you get a say.