AITA for telling my parents that my siblings hearts will get broken and I won’t pick up the pieces?

A Reddit user shared a deeply personal story about growing up in a blended family with three half-siblings who resented his existence. Despite his parents’ attempts to create unity, the divide has only widened, especially as his younger siblings hold out hope for reconciliation.

When pressured to help mend these fractured relationships, he told his parents that he wouldn’t pick up the pieces of his younger siblings’ broken hearts when reality sets in. Read the full story below to uncover the complicated dynamics at play.

‘ AITA for telling my parents that my siblings hearts will get broken and I won’t pick up the pieces?’

I (17m) am my parents oldest child together. I have three younger siblings 11f, 9m and 8f. I also have three older half siblings. Two from my dad’s first marriage who are 8 and 10 years older than me. One from my mom’s first marriage who is 9 years older than me. For the sake of making my post easy. Dad’s kids will be called Ben and Amy and mom’s is Eve.

My parents lost their original/first spouses before they met and they met at some group for single parents who lost their spouse. From what I know none of the kids were on board with the marriage but things weren’t totally awful at first. But the more my parents attempted to make them one family it got worse and then they had me, and apparently they thought I’d bring everyone together. My half siblings hated me and wanted nothing to do with me.

I remember being younger, when they still lived with us, and I’d want to spend time with them only to be ignored on a good day and yelled at and cursed at on a bad day for getting too close to them, and too close was being in the same room as them. They told me I wasn’t their brother a lot.

When my parents would leave me home alone with them they’d tell me to go to my room and stay in it because they didn’t want to be near me. One time I’m pretty sure all three left me in the house alone for a few hours. I would have been 5 or maybe 6. It was before my 11 year old sister was born.

One time dad told me his first wife would have loved me and Ben overheard and told me she would have hated me and would have been disgusted that I existed in the first place. Eve had a huge meltdown when she graduated high school because she didn’t want dad, me or my sister there. She even yelled that she wished we’d all drop dead and leave it to be her and mom again.

Amy moved out before her 18th birthday, like a few weeks before. We woke up one morning and she was living with Ben and dad couldn’t get her to come back. Sometimes I’d still see them. Eve if we were with my maternal family or Ben and Amy at my paternal family.

My younger siblings don’t remember how bad it was and how much they hate(d) us. So my parents have convinced them to keep writing letters to our half siblings and they keep filling them up with these promises that we’ll see them at family Christmas and they can be closer. They (my half siblings) don’t show up to family Christmas anymore. I think because they don’t want to see us.

My younger siblings get mad at me for not writing with them and think I’m the reason they aren’t around more. My parents told me I should be trying to help bring our family together. They said that to me the other day and I told them my siblings hearts will get broken over this and when it happens I won’t pick up the pieces. My parents told me my negative attitude won’t make change.. AITA?

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

SeduceUBaby_69 −  Your parents need to join a support group for blended families and learn how to properly communicate with their children. But hey, at least they tried to make everyone get along with a new baby… that always works out well. 🙄

EvelynCarter3232 −  NTA. You’ve been hurt by your half-siblings for years, and it’s not your responsibility to fix what your parents and half-siblings haven’t. Your younger siblings are too young to understand the full history, and you’re being honest about the reality of the situation. It’s not your fault they expect you to repair relationships that are beyond your control.

BitterrBlues −  You seem to be the only member of the family with a healthy heart.

Open_Equal_1515 −  wow , your parents really thought you’d be the family glue when it sounds like you were barely given a chance to exist without tension swirling around. and now they’re pinning the “family peacemaker” role on you ? that’s like tossing you into a dumpster fire and asking why you’re not the hero with a fire hose.

you’re definitely not the a**hole here. i mean , you’ve lived through years of being treated like an uninvited guest in your own family , and now you’re being asked to buy into this “everything will be magically fixed if we just write letters” fantasy ? it’s giving heavy denial vibes from your parents. sure , you could join the younger kids in writing hopeful letters , but it wouldn’t change years of damage or force a happy ending.

honestly , if you told your parents, “i’m not the emotional band-aid for a problem older than me ,” it’d still be kinder than they deserve right now. keep your boundaries—you’ve earned them. let your parents play pretend peacekeepers , but you’re not obligated to act like it’s all rainbows and family sing-alongs !!

No_Cockroach4248 −  I hope you have plans to move out when you turn 18. Your parents are beyond redemption, they have lost their older kids, they will lose you and the younger 3 will eventually turn against them when they are delivered the truth by your older half siblings. NTA.

JewelBabeJade −  NTA. Family dynamics are tough, and it sounds like your parents are trying to patch things up without addressing the underlying issues. You’re wise to brace yourself and protect your mental health instead of just going along with what they want.

Recent-Necessary-362 −  NTA. Wtf is up with your parents trying to make you the glue for everything? They’re the parents. It’s their jobs to help the families they created blend. Instead they ignored it and you got abused because of it and now they’re expecting you to do it again? No. Absolutely not. And I’d tell your parents either they tell your siblings the truth or you will. You’re not going to let yourself be the target of another angry sibling because your parents can’t figure s**t out.

perfidious_snatch −  Dear half siblings. I am writing this to you under duress. Over the years you have made clear your wishes to not engage with those of us you don’t consider family. I respect your choice, and don’t wish to force any contact on people who don’t want it.

However, I have been placed under constant and growing pressure from both parents and my younger siblings to write to you, based on false promises that all of us writing to you constantly will magically make you start showing up at family events and pretending to be a family. I just thought you should know about the lies being told about you.. Regards, Not-brother.

history_buff_9971 −  NTA – Your parents have behaved very foolishly. Sadly there are many “blended” families where the parents push too hard and it drives the children brought into the marriage away. It’s unfair that your half-siblings took their feelings towards your parents out on you, and it’s unfair that you have been expected to be the one to bring everyone together.

You are not responsible for any of it. You don’t owe your parents a thing, and you have every right to want to avoid your half siblings as much as they have wanted to avoid you. Your parents need a reality check, and soon, because if not there will be four kids who don’t keep in touch with them instead of three.

BadAtEvrythjng −  NTA just keep doing what you’re doing dude. You’ve been getting a pretty raw deal considering all you did was be born. If your parents don’t get why you feel this way they haven’t paid enough attention to you.
Why do your younger siblings blame you for them not coming? Sounds a bit to me like something that was said to them rather than a conclusion they drew.