AITA for telling my parents I’m not changing my name because of their name regret?

A Reddit user, a 16-year-old named Sunny, shares his experience with his parents who regret naming him after rejecting family naming traditions. While his siblings were named after relatives, Sunny was given a name that his parents liked.

Over time, his parents began expressing dissatisfaction with the name, suggesting that it might be too “light” for adulthood. They even presented him with options for a legal name change, but Sunny firmly rejected the idea, stating that he loves his name and that his feelings should take precedence.

His parents argue he should consider their feelings, leading to a conflict about identity and family expectations. Read the original story below to see how Sunny navigates this challenging situation with his parents.

‘ AITA for telling my parents I’m not changing my name because of their name regret?’

I’m (16m) my parents youngest kid and the only kid the name based on what they liked vs what the family wanted them to name us. My siblings were all named after family members like both my dad’s and mom’s families prefer.

By the time they got around to having me they were live f**k this s**t and told their family they were choosing a name based on what they liked and not based on family. So they named me Sunny. Yeah, the “girl version” of Sonny. I don’t care. I don’t think Sunny is girly because it has a u vs an o.

But anyway. My parents started to regret my name when I was maybe 10? I don’t remember exactly when but I can remember being about 10 and my parents started sometimes calling me by my middle name and only stopping when I told them it was weird and I liked my first name.

When I was 13 they asked me if I ever went by a nickname and I said no. Last year they said some kids change their names before graduating high school because they want something more grown up and they want to save the added expense of changing the name on their degree.

I was like oh, I guess if people want that it makes sense. Then I said it must s**k to hate your name. Six months ago my parents said I look like a James nicknamed Jamie. I asked them why they thought that and they said I just had that look.

They asked what I thought of the name and I said I like Jamie but prefer Sunny. Then they asked if I liked the name Luke and I said no.
In June they asked me if I would consider letting them change my name to something different.

They said they feel like they named me as a big f**k you to their families but felt bad that I had such an unserious name for a man. I told them I didn’t want to change my name and I always loved the way they talked about finding my name.

They said their feelings had changed and they felt like the name being cute and light and full of hope wasn’t great for going into my adult years. They said they deeply regretted it. I told them I was glad they made the choice they did and they shouldn’t stress it.

But last week they got the paperwork for a legal name change and presented me with like three name choices and asked me to pick. They said they really didn’t want to live with the guilt.

I told them I’m not changing my name because of their name regret. I told them how I feel about my name is more important now. They told me I should at least think of their feelings and that I should consider the future and whether I’ll be taken seriously.. AITA?

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

naisfurious −  What the hell, **NTA**. Six months ago my parents said I look like a James nicknamed Jamie.  So, are they planning to push you to change your name everytime you change your hair style or wardrobe?

Sonny or Sunny, regardless how you spell it is a perfectly normal name for a male. An identity is intertwined with a name and it’s hard to separate the two. You, and you alone, are the person that should decide if you want to change your name.

MissionHoneydew2209 −  NTA – your parents sound EXHAUSTING.

paintedkayak −  I mean, this is just sad: “being cute and light and full of hope wasn’t great for going into my adult years.” OP, please go forth into your adult years being cute and light and full of hope.

celticmusebooks −  **Last year they said some kids change their names before graduating high school because they want something more grown up and they want to save the added expense of changing the name on their degree.**.

LOL this is 100% not a “thing”. Honestly your parents sound a bit unhinged. Sadly at 16 they can legally change your name without consent in the US (at least in the majority of states). The upside is that you will be able to legally change it back when you turn 18.

Make it clear to your parents that if they were to do that there would be serious long term consequences for your relationship and that you will NEVER answer to or acknowledge that name under any circumstances and will have your name changed back the day you turn 18.

NTA but your parents appear to be struggling with some major mental health issues. Maybe talk to one of the counsellors at your school about what’s going on at home.

Anxious-Nobody-4966 −  NTA. it sounds like your parents are more concerned about their feelings regarding your name than your feelings. that name is *yours,* you’re your own person, and if you don’t want to change your name because you like it, then don’t.

those are their feelings to live with, and putting them on you as a child is unfair and weird. i also have a weather name and i still love it, and i’m almost thirty. more power to you!

Such-Marionberry-615 −  I knew a guy named Summer and he was great! I really liked him. He joked that he had a girl’s name, but, frankly, I’d never heard of anyone named Summer before, so to me it was neutral. He wore the name well.

He had hippy parents. So it goes. 🙂 Sonny Bono: that’s precedent for your name, but yours is spelled better! I’ve never heard of the name Sunny either, so, to me, it’s neutral, not a girl’s name. Hmmm… well maybe I knew a Sunny in China.

But that’s all I can think of. Think on this: Bambi is a boy’s name. He was a boy deer. About names that sound like kids’ names, even as adults: Kevin, Brian.

ReviewOk929 −  NTA 1. You like the name and don’t want to change it. 2. Why should you change something so integral to you just to assuage their guilt. 3. They are your parents and should be able to place your feelings above theirs

ShameBeneficial9591 −  they felt like the name being (…) full of hope was not great for going into my adult years. That… That says a LOT. The important thing is how you feel. Honestly, interesting names are great to come across as an adult.. NTA

PM_ME_SEXY_SANDWICH −  There is absolutely nothing embarrassing or un-adult about Sunny. I literally had to tell someone today to assign a task to a guy whose last name is McWeeny. I had to say that out loud. THAT’S embarrassing.

Financial_Bear_5071 −  NTA. They had their chance to name you. They don’t get a do-over just because they have regret. The only person who has the right to change your name is you. I love it personally.

Do you think Sunny’s decision to keep his name is valid, or should he consider his parents’ regrets and feelings? How would you handle a similar situation regarding personal identity and family expectations? Share your thoughts below!