AITA for telling my parents I won’t drive my brother to school unless he is more hygienic because his smell literally makes me sick?

A Reddit user shared a story about refusing to drive their younger brother to school due to his poor hygiene, which exacerbates their motion sickness and makes the ride unbearable. After creating a hygiene checklist as a condition for driving him, their parents accused them of being nasty and humiliating. When faced with the ultimatum of losing driving privileges, the user decided to stop driving altogether, sparking a family conflict. Read the full story below to see what happened.

‘ AITA for telling my parents I won’t drive my brother to school unless he is more hygienic because his smell literally makes me sick?’

I’m a high school senior and my brother is a high school freshman. I have a car that I bought with money I’d saved from work, and I pay my own gas. However my parents pay my car insurance, so they said that driving is a privilege for me, not a right. They said I need to drive my brother to school even though there’s a bus. And the problem is that I get motion sick easily; even when I’m driving. Too much driving makes me vomit, and bad smells when I’m in a car make me feel ill too.

I’m not exaggerating, I’ve always been like this. As a kid, my family couldn’t go on vacation without me puking at least once. I always make sure I know where my barf bag is on a plane. I always used to take motion sickness pills, but I’m not allowed when I’m driving because they make you tired.

Anyway, I can handle the drive to school on my own fine, but when my brother is with me I literally feel so sick because of his BO. Even with the windows on my side open. My friend told me I should make a checklist of what my brother needs to do before getting in my car in the morning: have a shower with shampoo and soap, brush his teeth, put on deodorant, wear clean clothes including underwear and socks, remember to use shoe antifungal spray.

Right now, he doesn’t do that, he likes to sleep in to the last minute, skip showers most days, pick clothes up off the floor to wear, skip brushing his teeth, etc. So I did that and told my mom and dad that I couldn’t do it anymore unless my brother had done the hygiene list in the morning. Either they could check or I would.

And they blew up at me saying that I was being n**ty and humiliating, that if I wouldn’t drive my brother I couldn’t drive. And I said fine; I’ll go back to riding my bicycle to school or getting a ride from my friend. And that caused a big fight, because I guess they were not expecting me to call their bluff and give up driving.. AITA for what I did?

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

pm-me-neckbeards −  NTA they should want to make sure their son is hygenic anyway so he doesn’t get bullied and ostracized. No one likes the smelly kid. You are comfortable with their terms, NTA.

crittab −  NTA. That’s a completely reasonable request. And wth are your parents doing letting your brother go to school smelling like a ripe gym bag? I get thay teenaged boys sweat and can smell, but that’s no excuse for poor hygiene. Good on you for calling their bluff. They’re just mad that they don’t have leverage over you anymore.

TheHalfLizard −  NTA. I would start paying for your own insurance. And also tell your brother you love him.

drunkpunk138 −  NTA, and I seriously wonder why your parents are more afraid of hurting his feelings than parenting him and teaching him good hygiene. Protecting his feelings (over yours, at that) is going to do more long term damage to him as a human being in the long run.

salty_mushroom −  INFO: is there anything stopping you from paying your own insurance. It’s BS In my opinion that they hold that one charge over your head. NTA.

Scottiegirl4 −  NTA. But maybe you could barf on him a couple times and see if that gets him to take the bus/take a shower.

GenuineRiskOfRegret −  NTA. I am really sensitive to smells and I work with teenagers. Holy moly – few things can tear gas a car quite like an unwashed pubescent boy. It leaches into your pores. It sticks in your nose. It’s a slime. You are soooo NTA.

Complete_Entry −  Shoe anti-fungal spray? Is he bathing in sewage?

I dig your play. As long as you were solid and willing to execute. I make it a point to never bluff, because if you get called on it and lose, you’ve permanently handed over power to the Ultimatum j**k. You MIGHT want to get your hypersensitivity checked by a doctor, because this may lead to life problems down the line. I occasionally have hyper smelling and it takes every bit of willpower not to barf from regular clean house smell. Like Dawn Soap is one of my triggers, and I use that daily.

I might have tried offering the bike to the stink-lord, but it sounds like there are no good solutions here, your parents have trenched this in as a “Respect” thing. You are NTA. If you puked while driving, you’d be putting everyone around you at risk. This is a safety issue as much as it is a stink issue.. Revised checklist

1. No you are not too tired to take a shower. Get to it. 2. Yes you have to brush your teeth, so does everyone else.. 3. Deodorant is non-optional. 4. Floor grabbed clothes don’t get a ride. This includes clean socks.. 5. No grody shoes. 6. Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cake hole.. 7. Buckle up. I’m sorry, even though you’re totally not wrong, I don’t think you’re going to win this one, the trench has been dug.

irisshadow −  NTA. You have a legit concern. If your parents aren’t going to address it properly, then you should just call their bluff and catch a different ride to school.

[Reddit User] −  NTA, I understand exactly what you mean, especially since I had to drive my brother to school, too. You shouldn’t be responsible for someone else’s hygiene, and if you don’t want to be trapped in a closed metal shell with them sitting right next to you, you shouldn’t have to. It sounds like your brother is gonna have a tough time in high school, if his hygiene is that bad. Best of luck friend.