AITA for telling my parents I don’t love my sister?

A 16-year-old girl (F) is struggling with her relationship with her 15-year-old sister, who has been spoiled by their parents due to her early health struggles. The younger sister has developed a demanding and controlling attitude, alienating extended family and friends.

Despite efforts to explain how her sister’s behavior affects her, the older sister is forced to spend time with her. When confronted by her parents about not being a supportive sibling, she bluntly stated that she doesn’t love her sister and wishes she wasn’t her sibling, leading to a heated argument. read the original story below…

‘ AITA for telling my parents I don’t love my sister?’

I (16f) have a younger sister (15f) who’s spoiled by our parents because she was born prematurely and almost didn’t make it. She was way too early and spent a lot of the first few years of her life in hospital (the first year) and then in and out of hospital until she was like 6 or 7.

Our gave her everything she wanted and went all out for Christmas, birthdays and any little thing they could. They also let her call the shots frequently because she didn’t get to do that when it came to her health. It alienated us from extended family because for a while they found it cute to have this little spoiled princess.

She was tiny and sickly looking and people felt bad. But then she got healthy and it was less cute to have someone walk into your house and demand you feed them a certain food or demand you stop your kids doing something because she wanted to do it.

Our grandparents used to babysit and they stopped because she was so rude to them and she thought she could tell them what to do. If they ever tried to give me a choice of something she was pissed because she was meant to choose what we ate, where we ate and what we did if we were together.

She also lost any friends she had because of her attitude. And after being invited to a few birthday parties when she was 8, she was the only kid excluded from others because she would push herself in to cut the cake, or she’d kick people out of the bounce house or she’d open the birthday kids gifts.

People disliked her and my parents so much they had their kids hand out invites to everyone but her in her class. It used to upset her so bad and she’s still the only kid not invited to parties or invited to hang out. She wants us to be close and she wants to spend time with me.

When I have plans or don’t want to she goes to our parents. They created a monster and they act like everybody needs to do what my sister wants. We share a bedroom because she wanted to even though we have three spare rooms in our house.

I’m forced to hang out with her at least 3 times a week and more when she really gets c**ngy. But she only does what she wants to do. And I have tried talking to her but she doesn’t listen when I say I’d be more willing to spend time with her, others would too, if she wasn’t trying to control us and being so bratty about it.

There was also a time she got me and my friends kicked out of a place because she came over and started screaming and demanding things. My parents realize now that I’m not being the big sister to her that they want and they tried talking to me about it.

They said she’s my sister and I love her and I need to be doing better. But I corrected them and said I don’t love her. It’s true too. Like maybe I still should but I don’t. I wish she wasn’t my sister.

And I’m counting down the days to get away from her and our parents. They talked to me while my sister was home so when I said I didn’t love her they really got mad at me for it.. AITA?

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

adobeacrobatreader −  NTA. She is extremely needy and controlling. Two things that make people run the other way. Your parents need to wake up, work on the child with the problem, and not expect you to adjust because of it.

Medical-Potato5920 −  NTA. Your parents have created this monster. They have less than 3 years to fix this mess. Perhaps ask your grandparents for help in an intervention with your parents. Alternatively, just behave like her at home. Demand your own bedroom, and don’t stop until you get it.

Sure, it will be a hell of an afternoon or weekend, but yell, scream, cry, get down on the floor, and bash your fists against the floor. Scream at the top of your lungs. Channel your inner 2 year old. Basically, make your parents understand that they will never have peace until they capitulate to you.

Turmeric_Ping −  NTA. You can’t love someone merely because convention says you should. Your parents are d**adful people who have not only inflicted you sister on you. Worse is what they have done to her: they have effectively crippled her ability to function socially by neglecting to insist on reasonable behaviour.

Mental-Blackberry-72 −  NTA. I had a sister who was born premature and sick and had sleep apnoea until she was about 2. Me and my other sister were raised to do chores, have manners and responsibilities. In fact, my parents were seen as the strict ones out of all my friends parents.

But not my youngest sister. She was spoiled beyond spoiled and even slept in my parents bed until she was 7. Many years later we are all grown up and my youngest sister is a completely non functioning human who leeches off the government, has stolen money from my parents and my grandmother,

won’t hold down a job and has had friendships end with such volatility the police have been called. On my mother’s d**th bed she admitted she created a monster. RUN from that house and make yourself a damn good life, and do not answer the door when she comes knocking for handouts.

Last-Butterscotch-68 −  NTA. Your parents failed you both.

EmmaCollins898 −  NTA. Your parents created this dynamic, and now they’re mad you’re honest about its impact. Love isn’t automatic when respect is missing.

wacky_spaz −  That’s so sad. They created a girl who will go through life with no or little friends, will struggle to date and have long term relationships and ultimately will likely fail at life or best case struggle. It’s actually pretty sad. I feel bad for you OP but truthfully I feel worse for your sister. Your parents have set her up to fail and abysmally at that.

LuneMires −  NTA, your feelings are valid. Your parents need to address her behavior ASAP.

grayblue_grrl −  NTA…. No one loves someone who holds you hostage.

While it’s understandable that years of being treated unfairly and dealing with your sister’s difficult behavior have built up resentment, expressing such strong feelings may not be the healthiest way to approach the situation. It’s clear that you’re overwhelmed, but working on setting boundaries with your parents and sister might help improve things. What do you think? share your thoughts below!