AITA for telling my parents I didn’t have a kid, they did, and they need to take care of her not me?
A 15-year-old girl shares her strained relationship with her parents, who had her at a young age and made it clear they regretted becoming parents early. They neglected her emotionally and practically throughout her life, but now that they’ve had a second child, they’re deeply invested in parenting.
The conflict arises when the parents expect her to babysit her younger sibling while they attend fertility appointments. She refuses, saying the baby is their responsibility, not hers. This refusal leads to tension as her father accuses her of being ungrateful. Read the original story below…
‘ AITA for telling my parents I didn’t have a kid, they did, and they need to take care of her not me?’
My parents had me (15f) when they were 18 and 19. They always made it so obvious they resented being parents so young and added to that they never tried to be good parents. I typically spend most of my time at friends houses.
I don’t have extended family to rely on, they disowned my parents for having me so young, so friends houses were a positive in my life that made me feel more comfortable than being at home with my parents. My parents never did the typical parent stuff like helping with homework or showing up to support me at school.
I don’t think they ever attended a parents conference for me. They ignored a lot of stuff I needed to get signed and I’d have to get right in their face on the last day to get signatures. My birthday and Christmas have never been a big deal or celebration. They do celebrate their wedding anniversary but that’s a them thing.
When they told me two years ago they were expecting a baby it really surprised me but then it hurt because sometimes they said stuff that made me feel like I didn’t exist. Like how they were SO excited to have a baby and how they couldn’t wait to be parents.
A friend of my mom’s did remind her of me but then she and dad said I was basically the too early practice run and this was the real deal. When my sister was born they were so attentive to her that I ceased to exist completely.
I got sick and my school was trying to call someone to pick me up early but they ignored the calls and when I got home they had taken the baby out for a family day. When they got home they hadn’t even realized the school called because they turned off their phones to “enjoy family time”.
My mom quit her job a month after my sister was born. She wants to be a SAHM and she and dad want at least one more kid. My dad leaves work early on Fridays so he can spend more time with the family (mom and sister). My parents tried to have another kid for over a year and mom isn’t pregnant yet so they’re jumping to fertility treatments.
They told me I need to watch my sister for a few hours every week while they attend those appointments and they gave me this detailed list of stuff she needs and what I’m going to do with her. I told them I won’t and that they had her so they need to take care of her because she’s not my kid.
My parents told me it’s a few hours a week and not a huge deal. Dad told me I need to look at it as paying back all they did for me. I said no and told them they don’t give a crap about me so why would I want to help them.. AITA?
Here’s how people reacted to the post:
puntacana24 − NTA – Neglecting to pick you up when you are sick and calling your life a “practice run” is such a horrible thing to get from your parents, and I’m sorry they have neglected you.
StAlvis − NTA. My parents told me it’s… not a huge deal. Yeah, well, neither is learning to be satisfied with the children you **already have**.
fiestafan73 − Tell them you’ll do it if they can name your favorite food, favorite color, and best friend. When they can’t, tell them you’ll be giving their baby exactly as much attention as they have given to you over the years. Give them that wake-up call. They clearly need it. NTA.
HandBananasRevenge − NTA. They clearly just see you as a babysitter and it sounds like they couldn’t even do the bare minimum for you when you were growing up.
Katja1236 − Tell them you are paying them back, in the same coin. You are ignoring and refusing to parent their child as they ignored and refused to parent you.. Simple as that.
Super_Reading2048 − NTA start planning your escape now. Also tell your teachers or guidance counselor about your home life. Tell your parents flat out you will abandon your younger sibling and then call the police if they try to force you to babysit.
Kid they are already neglecting you and making your life a living hell, what motivation could you possibly have to watch their child? Instead focus on getting certified in a trade or getting into college and getting out of there when you turn 18.
Mbt_Omega − NTA, and if they leave, call the cops on them for a**ndonment.
appleblossom1962 − NTA. You didn’t ask to be born. They could have given you up for adoption as it seems your grandparents didn’t care. You owe them NOTHING except respect, as in behave yourself. You are not your sisters keeper, let mom and dad deal with it.
I wish that there was someone you could turn to and get out. Study hard. Get a good job, go to trade school, college or the military when you are old enough. I wish you the best of luck
Revolutionary_Bag518 − NTA. “Dad told me I need to look at it as paying back all they did for me. I said no and told them they don’t give a crap about me so why would I want to help them.”
Your answer was perfect and the fact they called you their ‘trial run’ was honestly disgusting. While I would caution you not to take this out on your sister, you owe them absolutely nothing.
GloomyComfort − Dad told me I need to look at it as paying back all they did for me. They did the bare minimum to keep you alive. That’s not magnanimous. You don’t owe them anything. NTA.
This post highlights the impact of parental neglect and how resentment can build over time. Is the daughter right for setting boundaries, or should she have agreed to help?
