AITA for telling my mother in law not to place her own gift tags on Christmas presents i ordered for MY children?

A Reddit user shared a holiday dilemma about a disagreement with their mother-in-law over Christmas gift tags. The presents, carefully selected and personalized for their children, were sent to the in-laws’ house to be wrapped. However, the user discovered that their mother-in-law had placed “from grandma” tags on the larger, more significant gifts without consulting them. A confrontation followed, with the mother-in-law accusing the user of being selfish and “ruining Christmas.” Was the reaction justified or an overreaction? Read the full story below to decide.

‘ AITA for telling my mother in law not to place her own gift tags on Christmas presents i ordered for MY children?’

So basically i had ordered all my children’s christmas presents online to be sent to my in-laws home, as we are spending christmas there this year, my mother in law said that she didn’t mind wrapping them all up before we all got there, we arrived here yesterday and all was well, after the kids got settled in their room i got a chance to ask her about the presents.

She told me that they were mostly all wrapped with just a couple she needed to finish off and that they were stored in their basement, i did ask if she needed a hand finishing the rest off, but she insisted that i should rest after our journey, so i rejoined my husband in the sitting room, a couple hours later she had gone to take a nap.

So i went down to their basement to see how many had been wrapped and like she said there were some still left to wrap but as i was checking some of the bigger presents i noticed that they already had gift tags taped to them, when i flipped the tags they read “from grandma” on not just one.

But on all of the bigger ones so i immediately went and told my husband about what i just found n he said that his mum had asked if she could put a few of her tags on as she “didn’t want to disappoint her grandsons” my husband agreed that she could and told me that it isn’t a big deal and that this is the only time we will be spending Christmas over at theirs (as they live 4hours away) i’m mad that most of the bigger presents are things that i had pre ordered for a long time.

And put a lot of thought into and had some toys personalised with their name (which costed a lot of money) anyways my mother in law came back downstairs from her nap so i basically told her that i don’t think it’s right for her to just do that without asking me also, she got super upset and told me that i was being selfish and the tried guilt tripping by saying this could be one of the last Christmas’s she will have.

She’s old but she’s not that old (71) she told me that i’m ruining christmas already, idk i’m trying my best to appear as nothing is wrong around my kids, i do feel bad and that i maybe overreacted, i don’t know what to do, should i leave her tags on and apologise or put my own tags on and tell her she should have bought more?? this is turning into a nightmare.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

AgitatedDot9313 −  NTA, she is overstepping here and taking advantage of a situation. What did she actually get the grandkids?? She shouldnt have asked your husband as we was well aware she did that just to circumvent you. Clearly you were the one she organized everything to do with the presents with until she decided she wanted to put her name on things. Very deceptive of her and really s**tty that your husband didnt tell you right away, even if he was okay with it. Maybe he should help more with presents overall too.

Sudden-Pomegranate95 −  Are you joking???? RIP those gift tags off and tell MIL she can buy her own gifts if she doesn’t want to disappoint them. This is beyond cheeky and I can guarantee she’s rifled through the presents and chosen the biggest most expensive ones to present from grandma. ABSOLUTELY NOT. Your husband is a massive AH and the fact they’ve discussed this behind your back is downright m**ipulative. I’m actually so angry on your behalf.

edebby −  NTA. What a lousy AH move! She knew you would be upset and sneakily told you it’s all fine and ready so you’ll find out when it was too late. You don’t want to disappoint your grandsons? well how about saving for their BIG presents instead of leeching from the mom and making HER look bad in front of her kids?!

I just can’t understand how people feel so entitled to even suggest such a horrible request, by knowing they are making someone else taking the fall for their lack of preparedness, and laziness. You should put your own tags, and let her take the fall as she should

o2low −  NTA. Though you have a twofold issue. The first is the audacity rich MIL who thinks that just because she wraps them, she gets credit?!! Secondly though, and more importantly for you is the husband who folded like a cheap pack of cards when mummy asked if she could do that !! I don’t envy your Christmas experience but I’d be having a much larger conversation with mySO about him making unilateral decisions about things you have clearly done allllllll the work to organise.

celticmusebooks −  Is she impovrished to the point that she couldn’t purchase each child a modest gift? Remove the tags from all but ONE gift for each child and replace the others with a a gift tag from you and your husband. LOL granny doesn’t want the kids to feel “disappointed” but won’t they be much more disappointed when there are no presents from mom and dad? And SHAME on your husband who told her she could do this without asking you first. Is he normally this much of a mommy’s boy?

Particular-Try5584 −  NTA.. But find a way through this. Something like saying “I am happy for you to put a few tags on, but some of these gifts we talked about specifically for the kids… so this one, and this one and this one is ok to put your name on… but this one and this one and these here we are putting from us, ok?” And then use a sharpie to write names on them so the tags don’t get mixed up “Son1 from mum” and “Son2 from dad”.

Cardabella −  “Husband, if you want your mum to have a good relationship with our children, she needs to maintain a good relationship with me: going behind my back to upstage me and alienate me from my own children by appropriating all the gifts I chose with care and my hard earned money as her own is a highway to being cut from all future gift giving occasions indefinitely.

So if you want a happy Christmas and family harmony or to ever spend Christmas with your mum again, see to it that grandma only claims gifts that bought herself or at most that *you* yourself chose for that purpose, and that can be the end of it. But it is not healthy and I won’t allow anyone to alienate me from my children.

Lia_Delphine −  NTA remove the tags. Don’t let them make you feel bad for their lack of preparation. You put a lot of thought into your gifts don’t let her claim credit.

stollentrollin −  Who raised this woman? The audacity and entitlement are astounding. Of course you are NTA and your MIL is a really big one.

QueanFreyja −  How old are your kids? If they’re old enough I would be tempted to tell them that Grandma is having a bit of trouble remembering what she bought because she is so old (her words), so she stuck her tags on everything but you’ll let them know which things you bought.