AITA for telling my mother about what my sister was doing with her friends causing her to get kicked out?

A Reddit user describes a tense family situation after visiting their sister, Jessica, and discovering she and her friends were smoking weed in their mother’s flat. Concerned about their mother’s ongoing custody battle and the potential risks to their asthmatic younger sister.

They called their mother to inform her, leading to Jessica being kicked out of the flat. Now, Jessica is furious and not speaking to them, leaving the user wondering if they were wrong for intervening. Read the full story below!

‘ AITA for telling my mother about what my sister was doing with her friends causing her to get kicked out?’

(We live in the UK) I (19M) don’t live with my mother “Stacy” (39F) and my sister “Jessica” (18F) but they live together in Mum’s flat. I have my own place. Jessica does NOT pay rent or anything.

Some context: My mother is currently going through some messy legal drama involving the custody of me and Jessica’s sister “Claire” (2F, who is asthmatic this is important) due to her EX Bf (Claire’s father) lying about her doing alcohol and drugs. She’s currently staying in a monitored unit until next year so the socials can confirm she is all good…

I came to the flat to keep Jessica company as she wasn’t apparently coping well with living alone. The first thing I noticed when I walked in was a boy I never met in Jessica’s bedroom (sleeping in her bed). I was shocked but let it slide because I literally only just walked in the door after a two hour journey and he went home later anyways.

The next day, Mum called and asked Jessica to let her know if people are staying over (she didn’t know the boy was there, she’s just feeling uneasy or something idk) or if they’re in the house and Jessica decided to argue with her over it insteas of just accepting and apologising so after Mum hung up I lectured her before we went on with our day.

A little while later, we planned to go to a club and Jessica invited two friends over for pregame drinks (without telling Mum, I didn’t know this) and they were hanging out in her room whilst I was playing games in the lounge.

I eventually bought my entry ticket and went to Jessica’s room to tell her when I noticed a MASSIVE cloud of weed smoke hanging in the air of the room. I was in disbelief and pretty much immediately called Mum to inform her and she went mental.

Jessica decided to argue with Mum about kicking the friends out so Mum eventually broke and told Jessica that’s she’s kicking her out and she’s going to have to stay by our father (who isn’t Claire’s father btw).

Jessica is fuming and isn’t talking to me and I feel really bad but I honestly was gonna go ballistic at her friends myself for the lack of respect but I still wanna know if I did anything wrong.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

MerlinBiggs −  NTA. Your sister doing drugs in the home could jeopardise your mothers custody battle. In light of that your sister should be aware enough to keep that well away from the home.

Imagine if social service had come for an inspection. even the next day they could have smelled it. Sucks for you sister, but she is an adult and your mum has a 2 year old to consider.

jamesindevon −  Worth noting, if you don’t already know, that UK social services can and will use hair strand monitoring to see if residues of drugs end up in parents’ hair. It’s possible that some of this cloud of drugs might end up in your mother’s hair.

Your mother might be best advised to tell Social Services, who appreciate parents working with them rather than hiding things from them. I suspect she doesn’t have a family lawyer and wouldn’t be entitled to legal aid, otherwise I’d tell her to ask her lawyer.

(Some family lawyers do do free consultations: it might be worth blowing her one free consultation on that). Might also be worth her getting ahead of the game to explain why she’s kicked Jessica out, showing that she can and will make hard decisions to protect Claire, otherwise ex-BF might try to use it against her.. NTA

ChefJammer −  Is everyone forgetting the 2 yo is asthmatic? Second hand smoke and residue is deadly.

Nataliee4332 −  NTA. You were looking out for her, and she was being reckless. You did the right thing by telling your mom.

HuffN_puffN −  No no. Guys and drugs while mom being in a battle for her 2 year old? If the social services would have showed up it would likely have been game over.

If she could argue that she will kick her out, and show that it happened, they could continue in your moms favor, but I wouldn’t trust that one bit. Even without that perspective she did what she shouldn’t have done. And to that no accountability and fighting instead.. Nope.. NTA

Top_Journalist433 −  NTA. With all the drama going on already, your sister is a s**tty person for doing anything that could further blow up the situation. Nothing the 2yo could be physically harmed by second had smoke. Trash human behaviour

AmosHiFi2902 −  NTA – especially when you know how important it is for your Mum to have a d**g-free home, in order to get your Baby sister back. Your little sister comes first.

The fact “Jessica” has blatantly disregarded and disrespected your Mum, when she knows what difficulties your Mum is going through.  I really wish you and your Mum the very best; and hope Claire is home with you all soon. ❤

Proof-Ad6354 −  Im also UK and weed is still illegal here. Not only could your mother lose her custody battle but your sister could be in trouble too, which could also further hurt your mother. You did the right thing, it was a hard call but your youngest sisters health and your mothers battle is more important then your legal aged sister.

It seems that when the cats away the mouse will play and your sister is using the house as her own play pen. If she wants to play at being an adult then she can do that at her own home

Skankyho1 −  No you did nothing wrong.

Daymeculd1a −  NTA, Your sister should not bring people over to your mum’s house without asking first. That’s disrespectful.

Was it justified to alert the mother about the situation to protect her custody case and family stability, or should the user have handled the issue with Jessica privately? How would you balance loyalty to a sibling with broader family responsibilities? Share your thoughts below!