Aita for telling my mom to shut up about my pregnancy being a miracle ?

A 16-year-old user shares their emotional struggle with being pregnant as a result of a traumatic experience. Their mom, who constantly refers to the pregnancy as a “miracle” and “blessing,” is driving them to the brink of frustration.

The user feels that their mom’s reaction is dismissive of the trauma and pain they’re going through, leading to a heated argument where they told their mom to “shut the f*** up.” Now, the user is questioning whether their reaction was justified.

‘ Aita for telling my mom to shut up about my pregnancy being a miracle ?’

I’m 16 years old, and I’m pregnant. The situation that led to this pregnancy wasn’t consensual, and it’s been a whirlwind of emotions for me. What makes it even more complicated is my mom’s reaction. She’s obsessed with the fact that I’m pregnant, and it’s all she seems to talk about now.

Every conversation we have, no matter the topic, somehow revolves around my pregnancy. But the part that really gets to me is the way she constantly tells me how “blessed” I am, how it’s a “miracle” that I’m pregnant.

I understand that some people might view pregnancy as a blessing, especially when it’s wanted and planned, but for me, it’s not like that. I didn’t choose this. It’s not a blessing or a miracle. It’s a consequence of something that I never asked for, something that’s been deeply painful and traumatic for me.

Every time she says it’s a miracle, it feels like she’s ignoring my experience, my emotions, my trauma. It feels like she’s trying to put a positive spin on something that has completely turned my life upside down. And honestly, it started to eat away at me.

I tried to be patient with her at first. I tried to let it slide, to maybe understand that she was just trying to cope with the situation in her own way. But it kept happening. Every day, she’d say something like, “You’re so lucky, this baby is such a miracle,” or “I’m so blessed to be a grandmother.”

And it felt like she was trying to convince both of us that everything was fine, that this was some sort of gift. But it wasn’t a gift. It was a constant reminder of something that hurt me deeply. One day, after hearing it again, I just snapped. I had reached my breaking point.

I told her, in no uncertain terms, to “shut the f*** up.” I told her that this wasn’t a blessing, and this wasn’t a miracle to me. I couldn’t keep pretending that I felt the same way she did about it. I couldn’t keep pretending that her words didn’t sting.

We both ended up in tears. She was crying because she didn’t understand why I was so upset, and I was crying because it felt like the weight of everything finally came crashing down on me. Now, I’m ungrounded, and I’m feeling more confused than ever.

I don’t have anyone to talk to about this, no unbiased opinions, so here I am, asking for some perspective. Was I wrong to react like that? Was I out of line for expressing how I felt so strongly, even though it hurt my mom in the process? Maybe it was harsh, but I don’t know how else to communicate this pain I’m feeling.

I don’t want to hurt my mom, but I also don’t want to keep pretending like everything is okay. This isn’t a miracle to me. It’s a complicated, painful reality that I have to face every day. And right now, I’m just trying to figure out how to navigate it all.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

WebInformal9558 −  An unwanted pregnancy isn’t a blessing. An unwanted pregnancy resulting from nonconsensual s** is horrific. I’m so sorry your mom can’t understand that.

Winter_Parsley_3798 −  Being pregnant  *can* be a blessing. Water is also a blessing, but you don’t give water to a drowning man and expect him to be grateful. Your mom is a cunt,  full offense. You’re not alone, op. Reach out of support groups when you’re able. May whatever you want to happen to the pregnancy happen. 

tilicollapse12 −  If you were my 16 yr old daughter (she is 19) I would explain how sorry I am that this happened to you, it is not your fault, and you didn’t deserve this. I think it’s important we discuss your options with a doctor, planned parenthood, and consider starting therapy. This is YOUR decision, and I will support you 1000%.

UnicornDestroyer248 −  Gods no, ofc you’re NTA. I’m so sorry this has happened to you. Your mom sounds crazy tbh. How could it be a miracle? She should be ashamed. Also, she grounded you for that??? What the actual f**k

AlternativeLie9486 −  Does she know how the baby came about? If not you need to tell her. Do you want to keep this baby? Has anybody discussed this with you? You might want to consider reporting the person who assaulted you.

If your mother does know what happened to you, you need to find another trusted adult to have a serious talk with her about what she is saying.

No-Singer-9373 −  Your mother is a disgrace to the title of mother.

_s1m0n_s3z −  OP, do whatever you can to make sure your mother doesn’t do something really s**tty, like try to adopt the baby and force you to become its big sister.

If her attitude is like you say, that seems like something she might well try, and I am not sure that the government, or adoption agencies would not welcome this. So you need to make sure SHE knows how you feel about this,

and that you would see this as an absolute betrayal, one certain to destroy any trust or relationship she has with you in the future. If she gets baby rabies and tries to grab this child, you and she are *done*.

13surgeries −  NTA. Your mother is focusing on the future baby exclusively. All she can see is a chubby, happy baby tumbling around on the sunlit lawn–in other words, an idealized picture. She’s not thinking about the fact that you’re only 16 or that you were the victim of r\*pe.

It’s not that she loves babies.. Hey, I love babies, too, but if my 16-year-old daughter was r’d and pregnant, I’d be focused on her. Your mother’s issue may stem from her own desire to have more children. Whatever the cause, she’s ignoring her primary job, which is to take care of you, her OWN daughter.

When she found out about the r\*pe and before she knew you were pregnant, what was her reaction? Did she try to minimize or dismiss what happened to you? Does she think the emotional trauma is short-term or that the “joys” of pregnancy should wipe the slate clean of the terrible reason you’re pregnant?

I’m guessing she grounded you for swearing at her, which means she still sees you as her little girl and not as an almost-adult who’s been thrust into this situation against her will. This raises another question: who is going to raise this baby? Does she intend to treat it as your sibling?

Outrageous_Brother16 −  Hell no if you are my daughter you would be worth my daughter they’d be a man’s head on a silver platter in front of you

Do you think the user was justified in expressing their pain so bluntly, or should they have handled the situation differently to protect their mom’s feelings? How would you navigate this delicate situation if you were in their shoes? Share your thoughts and join the conversation below!