AITA for telling my mom that my dad thought I was smoking weed?

A Reddit user (16) shares a tense moment with their dad (53) after being accused of smoking weed due to red eyes. Despite never having smoked, the user agrees to take a drug test to clear things up. However, when they tell their mom about the situation, their dad gets angry, and the test is called off. The user is left wondering if they were wrong to involve their mom or if their dad overreacted. Read the full story below to find out how it unfolded.

‘ AITA for telling my mom that my dad thought I was smoking weed?’

I(16) got home from school around 3PM and went to my dad’s(53) room to tell him I was home. He told me to take off glasses (that he bought me) and proceeded to tell me that my eyes looked too glossy and too red.

Right after, he accused me of smoking weed, which I never had done despite having friends/classmates who have. He kept telling me that I had smoked weed and that I was too defensive to not have done it, he suggested that we go get a d**g test so that he could prove me wrong, I of course agreed since I was eager to prove him wrong.

Fast forward to around an hour later, we had gotten the d**g test at a pharmacy and were on our way home when I decided to text my mom about the situation. She had texted back telling me that “he was too much.”

My dad caught me texting my mom and asked if I was telling her about what was happening, after I had told him yes and what she said, he responded with, “I knew she was going to say that.”

After a bit he called off the test and said “nevermind, I am too much” and proceeded to get angry at me for wanting to still take the d**g test. I’m now sitting in my room, writing this post and wondering if telling my mom was the wrong move or if my dad was just overreacting.. AITA?

See what others had to share with OP:

Fresh_Process6822 −  NTA. I would hope your father would have told your mother himself—but, regardless, you’re not an AH for telling your mom as it was in process. I think your dad realized he was overreacting.

He may have gotten angry when you insisted on taking the test because he felt embarrassed/bad, realizing he overreacted and then also noting your insistence no doubt meant you were sure of your innocence. He may also have felt bad for doubting/questioning you.

I have a feeling that your dad’s fears came from a well-intentioned place (such as caring about, worrying over, and wanting to protect you). Nevertheless, he made a big leap from glassy/red eyes to drugs (I get tired eyes from allergies and too much screen time). I’m sorry you had to deal with this, OP.

Puzzleheaded-Bar5489 −  your dad is the a**hole. simple as that. she’s your mother, of course you’re going to tell her. she has a right to know too about the whole thing. sounds like he’s got anger issues and is finding reasons to have a go. you did nothing wrong

Ok_Winter_262 −  NTA. My mom would accuse me of smoking too, even though I too had never smoked weed. So frustrating. It’s completely understandable why you would want to prove to him that the d**g test would be negative.

Without it he will always wonder and probably think that you did smoke, but with it he will know that he is wrong and maybe he won’t be so quick to doubt you in the future, right?

Regarding telling you mom; your dad should not do anything or say anything that he would not want your mom to know about. They are your parents, they both have the right to know whats going on. You did nothing wrong in this situation.

KrofftSurvivor −  NTA –  Of course you told your mother, she’s your mom.. You’re being honest with her. And you did the right thing by trying to insist on taking the test anyways – he got angry because now he can’t hold it over your head.

If you can, hang on to that one until next time he’s being unreasonable, and then just quietly go and take the test right then and there. But honestly, it sounds like your dad needs therapy – there’s definitely something whack there.

wolf_of_walmart84 −  NTA – no parent should ever tell their child not to tell something to the other parent unless is like a surprise party or something good. Huge red flag. Your dad owes you a HUGE apology and he damn well better genuinely mean it.

dfjdejulio −  Don’t trust any adult that wants kids to keep secrets from their parents.

BlaqHertoGlod −  NTA. You made good decisions. Your dad wasn’t expecting you to double down, and once you both bought the test he probably wasn’t happy about the prospect of you taking it; as time went on, it became increasingly clear that his suspicions were wrong, you were being honest, and you were capable of standing up for yourself.

The idea of coming up with nothing and catching hell from your mom on top of it yanked him back to reality. Those kind of moments I’ve likened to a bucket of cold water, except the mess ends up being way worse. Thing is, your dad already knows he bit off way too much to chew.

He probably sees you wanting to take the test anyway as you trying to rub it in. It’s just wounded pride. Leave it alone, but don’t forget this if he isn’t a sufficient adult to apologize to you. Don’t demand anything, just don’t forget anytime soon that he couldn’t be the adult in the room.

And if he expects some kind of apology from you despite not offering one *to* you, it’s probably not a good idea to refuse outright; better that you ask him to quantify what it is that you should be apologizing for. If he can’t even say it without realizing he sounds like an a**hole, he’ll probably drop it.

If he does the right thing and apologizes, it’s best to accept and write it off. Everyone has bad days and isn’t always in the best frame of mind to make wise decisions. That’s not permission for anyone to act like a j**k, but it is reason to accept someone’s apology when they realize they were acting a j**k and say they’re sorry… provided they mean it.

DifficultProduct9095 −  Time to start smoking weed now! hahaha!

LetsGetsThisPartyOn −  NTA. You should be able to tell your mother, or father, anything any adult does or says to you. Including your other parent

LowBalance4404 −  NTA. He knows he’s “too much” if he’s upset your texted your Mom. Do you split your time between parents? Who has primary custody? Either way, that doesn’t change my judgement. If you haven’t already taken the test, I’d still do it.

Do you think the Redditor was wrong to text their mom and share the situation, or was their dad’s reaction overblown? How would you handle a situation where a parent’s accusations feel unfair? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below!