AITA for telling my mom I’ll pay rent when my brother does?

A Redditor (20F) is facing pressure from her parents to pay rent, despite working two part-time jobs to cover her expenses. She’s been told she’s not paying rent because she’s still in school, but after finding out her brother (22) is being given $2100 a month by their parents, she says she won’t pay rent until he does. Her parents think she’s being unfair. Read the full story below…

‘ AITA for telling my mom I’ll pay rent when my brother does?’

When my brother (22) and I (20f) were around 14 and 16 we were told that when we graduated high school, our options were go to college and get a part time job to pay for stuff like gas and our phone bills and whatever else we wanted, don’t go to college and get a full time job and pay rent, or move out.

We were also told we only had 20k each in our college accounts and we’ll have to get loans for everything else. We both started out at community college. I changed my major 3 semesters in so I’m starting over, still in community college for another 2-3 semesters. We are also very lucky that there are 3 state schools and a lot of private universities within an hour of my house.

My brother chose one an hour and a half away so he’d have to get an apartment. He quit his job in June and keeps making excuses as to why he can’t get another one so they’re paying $1600 a month for his apartment and another $500 directly to him for food, gas, etc.

Community college is free in my state and I have scholarships and Pell grants that cover anything school related so my college account is untouched right now. I also work 2 part time jobs. I am a teacher at a local dance academy and I’m a party princess on weekends. They both pay pretty well.

My dance teacher job pays me $35 an hour and I work 10-15 hours a week depending on the session. Party princess varies but my rates start at $150 for 45 minutes and can go all the way to $500 depending on what the parents select.

I have a website where the parents can choose the time slot and the basic activities for the time slot (like ballerina 10:15-11:00 story time, game, tattoos, performance, cake $150. Add goodie bags for $75 Add mini lesson for $50 Add face painting for $65). I work up to 6 parties in a weekend and can do 20 a week during the summers and I’ve been doing this for 3.5 years.

My parents knew my business was good but they didn’t know how good until I traded in my 2012 civic for a 2024 CRV hybrid and paid the difference in cash. Now suddenly my parents are telling me that I need to pay rent and help out since I’m not really in school (my classes are mostly online because I like the flexibility that it allows).

I asked why they’re suddenly asking now and they said it’s because they’re struggling. I asked why they’re giving my brother $2100 a month if they’re struggling but they said he needs the help. I finally told them I’m holding up my end of the bargain. I go to school, I work to pay for my car insurance and phone bill and any extras I want.

They let me stay here for free while I’m in school. If they really need money this bad, they should tell my brother that he needs to get a job, get student loans, or transfer to one of the schools driving distance from home but I won’t be paying rent until he does. They think I’m being difficult and unfair and brought up how they paid for my dance and gymnastics growing up

(I was a competitive dancer until I was 16 and I’m a level 8 gymnast) but they also paid for my brother to be on his travel baseball team and got him a private coach so it evens out. I’m still refusing to pay rent and I’m considering moving out and renting a room or living with my grandparents but I wanted to know if I was the ass for saying I won’t pay rent until my brother does.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

olprockym −  NTA. Your parents are teaching your brother to be an entitled lazy ass. They should be proud of what you do, not asking for money that they chose to foolishly give your brother. Hold your ground or move in with someone else.

Your mom and dad aren’t doing your brother a favor, he will be missing life lessons like being responsible and independent. You seem very ambitious and accomplished at a very young age. Congratulations! What you earn is yours. Your parents’ poor decisions on where they send their cash is their problem.

ChipsNCola −  NTA. I would ask why are you being penalized for having your s**t together.

zanne54 −  DON’T YOU DARE PAY YOUR BROTHER’S RENT! Because you know that’s exactly what they’re asking of you.. NTA

HippoSame8477 −  Move out

Proud_Tie_4802 −  NTA. You’re holding up your end of the bargain.

[Reddit User] −  NTA your parents are riding the wrong kid. Definitely don’t give in and make it easy for them. Sounds like your brother could be working summer baseball camps. Could start a side business showing up at parties as super hero’s and sports stars.

AlienGoddess91 −  I would be honest and tell them you’re ready to move out and won’t forgive them for playing favorites. NTA

Southern_Math_8238 −  NTA – start apartment shopping, because money sours any relationship, and your parents are already acting resentful just because you are self sufficient. Your brother is the one being a leech not you, time to fully embrace your own independence!

Big_Zucchini_9800 −  NTA Its sounds like they are coddling him and because they know you’re dependable they’re trying to get you to fill in the gaps. What ever happened to your 20k college fund? Did they use it already? Give it to your brother?

pretty_evaa −  NTA. You’re not the a**hole for refusing to pay rent until your brother does. You’re sticking to the original deal, going to school and covering your own expenses While your parents are funding your brother’s lifestyle. It’s totally fair to feel like you’re being treated unfairly.

Do you think the Redditor is being fair by standing her ground until her brother is treated equally? Or should she help her parents out, considering their financial situation? Share your thoughts below!