AITA for telling my mom I’ll pay rent when my brother does?

Money and family can be a tricky combination, especially when it feels like some siblings are being treated differently. In this story, a 20-year-old woman has worked hard to maintain her independence, juggling college, two part-time jobs, and a business she’s built from the ground up.

So when her parents asked her to start paying rent—despite the fact that they’re giving her brother $2,100 a month—she was less than thrilled. After holding up her end of the bargain, she wonders if it’s fair to refuse rent until her brother starts contributing. Let’s break down this family’s financial dynamics and see where the problem really lies.

This situation feels like a classic case of sibling favoritism. While the woman is successfully covering her own expenses and making smart financial decisions, her brother seems to be getting a free pass, with their parents financially supporting him despite his lack of initiative.

With her parents struggling, they now want to shift some responsibility onto her, but she’s standing firm in her refusal to pay rent until her brother is expected to do the same. The tension between maintaining independence and family loyalty is palpable. But is she in the wrong for holding her ground?

‘ AITA for telling my mom I’ll pay rent when my brother does?’

In situations like this, it’s important to balance fairness with responsibility. According to financial counselor and family therapist Dr. Lisa Green, “One of the most crucial aspects of managing family finances is establishing clear and consistent expectations for everyone, especially when children transition into adulthood. If one child is expected to contribute, it’s only fair that all children are held to the same standard, particularly when the expectations are set early on.”

In this case, the woman is right to hold firm to the agreement that was made when she and her brother were younger. Her parents promised that if she went to college, she would be exempt from paying rent—an agreement that should still stand as long as she’s following through. The fact that her brother isn’t being held accountable for his choices—quitting his job and relying on his parents—creates an unfair situation where the burden is being unfairly placed on her.

Dr. Green further explains, “It’s important for parents to avoid fostering an environment of entitlement, where one child gets off without contributing while the other is forced to pick up the slack.” If the parents are financially struggling, they need to address their own mismanagement of resources, especially regarding the support they’re providing to their son.

It’s also worth noting that the woman’s success in managing her finances, running her own business, and covering her own expenses is commendable. Dr. Green adds, “Parents should encourage and celebrate their children’s independence and financial responsibility, rather than using guilt or unfair expectations to undermine their achievements.”

In this case, the woman is showing responsibility, while her brother is avoiding it, and it’s absolutely justified for her to refuse rent until both siblings are held to the same standard.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

The overwhelming consensus in the comments is that the woman is not in the wrong. Redditors point out that her parents are making poor decisions by enabling her brother’s behavior and that the woman shouldn’t be penalized for being responsible. The idea of paying rent before her brother is expected to contribute is seen as unfair and unjust.

This situation highlights the importance of consistency in family expectations, especially when it comes to financial responsibility. What would you do in this situation? Would you stick to the original deal and hold out, or would you feel compelled to help your parents out financially despite the imbalance? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.