AITA for telling my MIL to leave my home?

A woman invited her mother-in-law (MIL) to visit her home after a long time, only for the MIL to bring highly inappropriate gifts for her two teenage daughters: a shaver and condoms. This shocked and upset the woman, who asked the MIL to leave.

The MIL defended her actions, claiming she was trying to prepare the girls for the future, and left in tears. The incident caused a rift, with the woman’s husband believing she overreacted. read the original story below…

‘ AITA for telling my MIL to leave my home?’

I, (47F) a couple days ago decided to invite my mil (78F)to my house because she hasn’t seen my kids in a very long time. She was thrilled and said that she would come with a few gifts, and I told her that was fine.

My kids are in their early teens (14F and 13F) and what she brought them was absolutely terrible, humiliating even. Once she got to my house, everything was fine, it was fun actually. We were talking about the kids and other stuff, but then it was time for the gifts.

She said for my 14 year old to open her gift first. She had brought her a shaver and a condom. I was absolutely disgusted, but my mil said that it’s a perfect gift and that she’s going to need it. Then, my 13 year old opened hers and she got her the same thing.

I told her that I was absolutely disgusted with her behavior and that she needed to leave my home. She flipped out and started acting like a l**atic. My kids were left in tears.

She then told the kids to “toughen up” and “it’s not that serious” I started screaming that this was not okay and that she’s a psychopath for bringing them these “gifts” and she said that she was just trying to do something nice and started crying.

I told her that there was no reason to cry and I shoved her out the door. My husband said that I overreacted and that our kids should be ready for the future. So, AITA?

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

DinaFelice −  “Husband, I’m really concerned that you don’t see the difference between age-appropriate conversations about s**ual health (including making sure they know where to get supplies to keep them safe if and when they are seriously considering taking that step), and giving these things as a *gift*.

The implications of receiving such an item as a gift is incredibly different. Gifts are supposed to be used, and soon. Thank you notes often contain a sentence about how the recipient used the gift for the first time (or how they *plan* on using it) and how much they enjoyed using it.

And if the recipient *doesn’t* give a thank you note, it’s pretty normal for the giver to ask if they enjoyed using the gift. Does that feel remotely appropriate for MIL to expect that kind of feedback?” NTA.

Even if you were a total prude and your girls *needed* someone to have a serious talk with them about s**ual health, this would still be an absolutely appalling way to go about it.

My organization literally distributes packets with pamphlets and supplies (including to people younger than your girls) and *still* everyone involved would be absolutely horrified by your MIL’s actions . I’d also be very concerned about your husband’s reaction.

Does he not have the full story of what happened or does he really not understand the difference between appropriate conversations and what his mother did? Did she overly sexualize *him* at a young age so he doesn’t understand boundaries? Is he on board with sexualizing your daughters?

I think it’s time for some very serious conversations about the underlying topics, not just about his mother . Also, if it’s “not that serious” then why did she behave that way to being told “no”? Of *course* it’s a serious topic

yuffie2012 −  You should send her a Christmas gift of a gigantic dildo.

Acrobatic_Increase69 −  NTA who in there right mind gives these things to a 13 and 14 year old? Ask your husband if he thinks it’s ok for his daughters to go have $ex and even a baby at their ages? Because that’s what the gifts were invitation to have s**!

Garden_Lady2 −  OMG, you married into a family of psychopaths! These are not appropriate gifts for your girls. In fact if your husband gave his children these gifts I think it would be ground for CPS to pay a visit. You did NOT overreact, you did just the right thing mama bear!

I can’t imagine how tough it was to talk to your girls about their inappropriate ‘gifts’. edit to add NTA at all, but your MIL and husband sure are! Please come back and. updateme

ThatsItImOverThis −  NTA Your husband’s defence of his mother’s actions is more concerning that her’s TBH. He’s advocating for his mother’s lunacy over the correct parental discussion regarding s** education with his children. Who did you marry, exactly?

treehugger1874 −  Is this unusual behavior for your MIL? When my grandma had dementia, she would do these type of inappropriate things too. Personally, I think she should be checked out by a doctor. She might not have been in her normal frame of mind.

Banditsmisfits −  NTA. Honestly if a man gave these gifts it’d be considered grooming, and she doesn’t get a pass because she’s an old woman. She’s disgusting. Like if it was just a razor type thing for legs or whatever I’d say she overstepped by not talking to you but could see where she meant well.

But then she combined it with a condom and that’s so fucked up. Honestly id say she needs to be checked for dementia given her age and the sexualized behavior but since your husband seems to think sexualizing young girls is normal it seems like a family issue. I wouldn’t allow her around my kids.

Slightlysanemomof5 −  I was thinking more like couple boxes of depends because she’ll definitely need them. Maybe a box of cognitive vitamins if you want to add the extra punch to the gift. Give give in front of others and explain to group you noticed MIL is into useful Christmas gifts

LateForDinner61 −  She’s 78. Has she been evaluated for cognitive issues? Your husband, on the other hand, is TA.

hadMcDofordinner −  Well, your husband needs to not minimize his mother’s behavior,. that’s for sure. Never invite her back. Don’t visit her, either.. NTA

Was the MIL out of line with her choice of gifts, or did the woman react too harshly? How would you handle such a situation? Share your thoughts below!