AITA for telling my kinda DIL she isn’t giving birth to Jesus and if she doesn’t clean than she can get out of my home?

A Redditor allowed their son and his pregnant girlfriend to move into their home to help them save money for their future. However, after months of dealing with his girlfriend’s messiness and her reluctance to clean, tensions finally boiled over.

When she used her pregnancy as a reason for not cleaning, the Redditor snapped, telling her she “isn’t giving birth to Jesus” and could leave if she didn’t start contributing. The son is now furious, but the user feels justified. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for telling my kinda DIL she isn’t giving birth to Jesus and if she doesn’t clean than she can get out of my home?’

My son and his girlfriend have been dating since college. The graduated last year and are 22 and 23. They use to have an apartment together but soon found out she was pregnant. I was not happy when they informed me.

I knew they could not afford it, but they wanted to keep the baby They also are doing a shotgun wedding soon. Soon after they asked to move into my home. It is a large home with plenty of space. They wanted to save money for the baby.

I made it clear they will need to do chores and but there own food. They agreed and are so messy. I have talked to both of them before and they keep telling me they will do better.

My son has been traveling for a job and it became clear that she is the one being a mess. In short she is slob, she leaves dishes out constantly, her stuff is all over the house, her bathroom is so gross. I have talked to he over and over again, I have talked to my son and he has talked to her.

She is 8 months pregnant and her excuse is she can not clean… well she hasn’t been cleaning since she move in 6 months ago. I came home with groceries and tripped over her shoes. I had enough.

I told her that she isn’t giving birth to Jesus and if she doesn’t clean than she can get out of my house. She started to cry and my son is pissed at me. I reminded him that I am doing them a huge favor and doubled down on cleaning

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Conscious_Hotel_5538 −  I’m going to reluctantly say NTA because technically you’re in the right but really you should have dealt with this months ago, after she has the baby she’s not going to get to a full nights sleep for months and she sounds like she’s high risk for PPD which yeah…

Not sure what your living situation is but if I was in your shoes I’d divide the house up and put one of them or myself in an apartment and then just start charging them rent if they’re so messy it’s damaging your property. Ignore the people that are going to tell you to kick em out. Don’t do that to your grandson.

Beneficial_Local1012 −  NTA
There are women out there who are (or were) ready to pop, taking care of a house and toddler on their own while working. I personally know a few. You ARE doing them a favor. It’s not your job anymore to take care of them and definitely not your job to take care of their baby.

While it is nice to have a grandparent that’s involved, that doesn’t mean a grandparent that is playing maid, chef, landlord, part-time parent to adults and baby. You gave them the conditions on which you’d house them.

They are no longer following them. If you want to completely cover your b**t, because I don’t know what kind of people your “DIL” and son are, start doing things in writing.

They have until X to clean up and continue to maintain their part of the house to a minimum standard or else they can no longer live in your home. This is assuming they could actually claim certain legal ‘tenant’ rights in your location. However, if they decide to name their baby Jesus, I would have to laugh. 

stannenb −  INFO: If she were giving birth to Jesus, would you actually feel any different about her cleanliness habits?

sassychubzilla −  This is only going to get worse. Soon you will be tripping over dirty diapers and rotting formula bottles and trying to get rid of cockroaches and rodents.

Living with your DIL will make you resentful of your grandkid. Throwing her out will make your son resent you and also interfere with you having a healthy relationship with your grandkid. Nta.

She either cleans up after herself in your home or she can hope someone will clean up after her in the nearest shelter. Best write the eviction notice now. If your address is legally her address, it’ll be hard to throw her out.

0biterdicta −  ESH. While some cleaning chemicals and chores might need to be avoided while pregnant, she can certainly do the bare minimum of not leaving a mess.

But why are you just threatening to kick her out when your son is also part of the problem? He should be cleaning up after himself and he should be helping out his pregnant girlfriend.

Sure_Flamingo_2792 −  I was mowing my lawn, by choice, at 9 months hoping to move things along. Pregnant women without medical issues can function just fine. She is a slob and no amount of complaining is going to change that. You need to decide if this is how you want to live because it will get way worse once there is a baby. NTA

insomnia1144 −  Maybe this is an annoying perspective but like… maybe she’s never had to clean up after herself and she’s just so oblivious to it… I know she’s been asked but she’s still so young and is dealing with an unplanned pregnancy. We’ve been given no info about how she’s doing mentally right now.

Is she even okay? I’m a full blown adult and my anxiety was so bad with my last pregnancy, I felt useless. Where are her parents and support people? When you talk to her about cleaning up, how are you talking to her?

It sounds like you weren’t happy with this situation from the start… wondering how much that contributed to this arrangement not going well. She’s hardly an adult and in a really vulnerable place. I guess I feel like her side of the story would be insightful.

Horror-Friendship-30 −  NTA. I get that you probably were nice for the first few weeks and months, and now preggozilla is thinking she can give birth and the angels should wait on her hand and foot.

If she can’t do this now, she won’t do it post partum. If she’s not working then she can at least pick up the stuff on the floor or not leave things around the house at minimum.

I get if the chemicals made her sick or she was having a really bad pregnancy, but I get the feeling she felt having a baby was a ‘get out of working for free’ card. Just tell your son that he has to find a new apartment now, because she’s not adhering to the agreement.

Complex_Storm1929 −  NTA. The girl is a slob. If she can’t pick up after herself how is she going to pick up after a baby? This girl is far from ready to be a mother. Tell your son to get his girlfriend to clean up after herself or they will have to go.

BassFace1026 −  Honestly ESH. She should take care to be more tidy, but honestly you don’t care if you’re an ahole. You just came here to vent, and get vindicated for your point of view.

If you were willing to kick out your son, the mother of his child, and unborn grandchild without any guilt or worry over the outside perception it will cause you would have done it. Instead you’re trying to get the Internet on your side so that when people give you hell you can say “But the Internet randos agree with me!”

Do you think the Redditor’s approach was fair, given their efforts to help their son and his girlfriend? Or was the comment too harsh? How would you handle this balance of boundaries and family support? Share your thoughts below!