AITA for telling my inlaws about what their son’s girlfriend did to my son’s blanket and causing her to get shunned?
A Redditor shared their frustration after their ex-husband’s girlfriend threw away a special crochet blanket they made for their son, causing their son distress. In response, the Redditor vented to her ex-husband’s family, leading to the girlfriend being shunned. Now, she’s questioning if she went too far in sharing the story. Read the original story below to see how the situation unfolded:
‘ AITA for telling my inlaws about what their son’s girlfriend did to my son’s blanket and causing her to get shunned?’
I F,33 found out that my ex husband M, 37 was cheating on me when I was 7 months pregnant with our son. I got a divorce and we share custody of our 3 yro old son. My ex husband’s girlfriend tried to get involved in my parenting several times, she even commented on my son’s name implying that we should agree on a name we all want not just what I wanted,
and tried to dictate what he should and shouldn’t have. As a result she started throwing stuff of his that I paid for myself. Honestly it’s frustrating because I’m barely getting by with the money I have and can not afford to buy replacement for all the stuff she throws put but my ex husband says it’s her “house” and she gets to decide what can and can’t enter.
I made a crochet blanket for my son with his name on it. This blanket is special to me, and the tools I used to be able to make it cost me money. Not to mention the time and effort it took to get it down. I sent my son to stay with his dad days ago, and he wanted to take the blanket with him to sleep with it.
I don’t know exactly what happened, but when I came to pick him up he told me his dad’s girlfriend took it away from him and threw it out leaving him with no blanket to sleep with at night as “punishment” for him for not accepting the one she offered. I was furious.
I called his dad but he hung up on me, I sent him a text explaining the situation, but he texted back telling me that I should stop the drama and go look for a job if I have so much free time on my hand instead of picking on his girlfriend.
I felt frustrated I visited his family who are good to me and told them about what their son’s girlfriend did, now it’s worth mentioning that she’s been working hard for their approval and to get on their good side. They were shocked to know about what she did they all flipped out on her and started calling her out.
My SIL took it further by putting this on social media which made other family members see what she did. My ex husband called me yelling about my “pathetic attempt” to turn his family against his girlfriend. I could hear her freaking out in the background while he was lashing out at me saying I ruined every chance she had to have a good relationship with her “future inlaws”.
I hung up and felt absolutely horrible, even though I was just venting to his family about what happened and felt frustrated. Maybe I shouldn’t have told them? I’m not sure anymore since the whole family aren’t speaking to her si that might have epa lasting impact on their relationship with her.
Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:
Jorbarip − Document, document, document. They are emotionally and mentally abusing your son by throwing out his comfort objects that help him transition between houses. And I guarantee they are saying negative things about you to your son.
Document every single thing you can. Conversations, text messages, things your son tells you. Get your son to a child psychologist so they can document any issues your son has with your ex and his gf.
Then go to court and get custody agreement changed to state the gf can’t be around the child, depending on the exes actions you might even be able to get full custody. Keep your exes family in your sons life as much as possible, even if you end up remarrying. He deserves to know his family. NTA
[Reddit User] − NTA I don’t think you took it far enough. She didn’t let him sleep with a blanket as a punishment. I would be revisiting custody to limit the. damage she can do
CommunicationOdd9406 − NTA this lady is abusing your child. I’d be in court making sure she was nowhere near him again.
No-Jellyfish-1208 − NTA. he told me his dad’s girlfriend took it away from him and threw it out leaving him with no blanket to sleep with at night as “punishment” for him for not accepting the one she offered.. So she uses the kid you have with your ex as a sort of weapon, something to make you angry with. Jesus.
What is your ex seeing in that woman? It’s one thing if she doesn’t want to have your stuff in their home (though I am not sure 3 years old’s blanket qualifies as such), but quite another to act this way. And she’s surprised her potential in-laws aren’t glad with it? She has only herself to blame.
Checkoutmawheeeeepit − He started yelling about my “pathetic attempt” to turn his family against his girlfriend. And you told his family about his “pathetic attempt” at parenting, where he is more interested in getting his d**k wet than being a good father.. NTA.
Wolfenbro − NTA. Your kid’s dad is awful here too, any chance you could get custody amended so that your son has less exposure to the girlfriend?
It’s great that his family’s good to you and involved, but he himself clearly isn’t good to your son if he’s letting this happen
Haunting-Row-3961 − NTA. Speak to a lawyer, this is emotional abuse. Keep the ex’s family in your sons life. Your husband only deserves supervised visitation. If someone can be so cruel to a 3 year old and the parent does not protect them, the parent does not have the right to be in the child’s life. They must be mistreating the child more than you know. Take the child to a child psychiatrist
deblas66 − NTA but you need to switch your brain to legal advice and speak to your attorney about this. She can’t just throw away his things if they were purchased by you. There isn’t some parenting loophole where anything can be thrown away when it doesn’t belong to them. You should also seek a better custody agreement to get ahead of this since it certainly won’t get better, only worse.
CakeEatingRabbit − NTA
There is literally nothing a 3 year old could do, to warrant that punishment in the first place. They have a very limited understanding of action and reaction and a short attention span. Adults who “parent” like this are either intentionally cruel or lack basic understanding. My guess is that the gf cares so little about the child that it is a mixture of both.
Poetryinsimplethings − Sue for 100% custody. Your son’s step mother is abusive and his father is enabling her. I would never send him over again knowing that he might sleep without a blanket again.. NTA. Also you didn’t lie or exaggerate. The fact that she was freaking out proves that she knew what she was doing and now freaking out that the truth about her abusive way is coming out.
Do you think the Redditor was justified in telling her ex-husband’s family about the girlfriend’s actions, or did it go too far and risk causing lasting damage to family relationships? How would you handle a situation involving family overstepping boundaries in your parenting? Share your thoughts below!