AITA for telling my husband’s girl best friend she can’t host my baby shower?
Blending relationships and expectations—especially when it comes to family celebrations—can be incredibly challenging. In this case, a 22‑year‑old mom-to-be, who has already navigated some rough patches with unsolicited baby advice, finds herself at odds with her husband’s best friend, Sam. Despite having been friendly with Sam initially, things shifted when the pregnancy was announced.
Sam’s constant texts to the husband (including critiques about the OP’s diet) crossed a boundary, and the situation reached a head when Sam tried to take over hosting the baby shower—a role the OP had already allocated to her mom and sister. In standing up for her own celebration and personal space, the OP now wonders if she overstepped.
‘AITA for telling my husband’s girl best friend she can’t host my baby shower?’
Establishing healthy boundaries is crucial—especially in blended family or extended friendship dynamics. Parenting experts like Dr. Laura Markham emphasize that “parenting isn’t about what our child does, but about how we respond.” While this quote focuses on parenting, the principle applies equally to setting personal boundaries in family celebrations and relationships.
In situations like these, it’s important to recognize that even well‑intended advice can become intrusive if it disregards your personal wishes. When someone repeatedly offers unsolicited guidance (especially when it turns into criticism), it’s perfectly reasonable to assert your boundaries. The baby shower is a celebration meant to honor your new journey—a time to be shared with those you choose, not someone who insists on taking over simply because of past closeness.
Furthermore, healthy communication in family settings should always be respectful and collaborative. Your husband has acknowledged the issue, and you clearly communicated your plans and limits. Expecting you to also host or plan meals for someone else’s kids—not your responsibility—is an unreasonable demand, particularly when you’ve already established a system that works for you.
Here’s how people reacted to the post:
Many readers empathize with the need to draw clear lines. Some suggest that while Sam might have started with good intentions (after all, her background in nutritional science may have made her feel qualified to help), her persistence and delivery crossed into overstepping. Others note that even if Sam means well, boundaries are essential—and it’s not your job to shoulder responsibilities for a celebration that’s meant to be intimate and family-specific.
In the end, you’re not the AH for telling Sam that she can’t host your baby shower or for rejecting her unsolicited advice. Your celebration is your own, and it’s perfectly acceptable to have it hosted by your mom and sister if that’s what feels right for you. Boundaries exist to protect your autonomy, and insisting on them in this situation is entirely reasonable.
What do you think? Have you ever had to set a firm boundary in a blended family situation? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below!