AITA for telling my husband to p*ss off if he didn’t like the way I talk?

A Reddit user shares a frustrating moment with her husband, who dislikes it when she pronounces foreign menu items accurately in their native languages. Although she has training in multiple languages, he insists she “talk redneck” like him, seeing her pronunciation as an attempt to act superior.

The situation reached a breaking point when she ordered in Spanish at a Mexican restaurant and spoke with her brother, prompting her husband to blow up. She told him to “piss off” and left, leaving him with the bill. Read the full story below to dive into the details.

‘ AITA for telling my husband to p*ss off if he didn’t like the way I talk?’

My (47f) husband (45m) doesn’t like it when we go out to eat if I pronounce the name of items on the menu correctly in the language they are written in. For example if we are eating Chinese food I will give my order pronouncing my choice in the dialect it is written typically Mandarin.

The same goes for eating Mexican, Italian or German food. He thinks that I should talk redneck like him even though I have some training in multiple languages.

The last straw happened at a Mexican restaurant we frequent and I ordered my food as I normally would and then spoke in Spanish to my adopted brother who walked up at the time and my husband blew his top so I told him to p**s off and walked out. Now he is saying I’m trying to be high culture and belittle him and IATA for leaving him alone and stuck with the bill. So AITA here or what?

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

aj_alva −  NTA for ordering food the way you do. However, if you refer to the way your husband speaks as “redneck” you are belittling him.

[Reddit User] −  ESH – “He thinks that I should talk redneck like him” kind of shows you’re not exactly approaching this from a place of good faith. And while I think he’s probably wrong for this, I’m not gonna lie, your post is giving me intense Peggy Hill vibes.

I’ve seen more than a few people do the thing you’re talking about and it can range from “oh neat” to “holy Jesus, please stop” depending on how well they know the language they are attempting to draw from. The fact that you equate NOT doing that with “talking redneck” is quite revealing.

Go listen to how a British chef pronounces “filet” and tell me that you need to pronounce every word as a native speaker. He might be kind of ridiculous in his opposition to pronunciation but you sound insufferable.

EDIT: OK folks, I get it. She posted the comment about how he refers to himself as a redneck AFTER I posted what I said. However, I am not changing anything about this. Just because he uses the word redneck does not mean it cannot be used pejoratively.

Like many other words, whether it is used as a point of pride or an insult depends on tone and inflection. Who the speaker is and to whom the word is directed also matters. And I feel OP’s usage here was not used charitably.

NArcadia11 −  Hold up, so you put on a mandarin or Italian accent when ordering food at one of those restaurants? You don’t sound respectful and educated in multiple languages, you just sound insufferable and possibly r**ist. I know you think you’re super smart and cultured and you want everyone to know how smart and cultured you are, but that’s not how that’s being perceived. YTA.

Even_Budget2078 −  INFO:
“I have some training in multiple languages”. versus “spoke in Spanish to my adopted brother” Is Spanish your brother’s native language? You have “some training” in Spanish or you speak Spanish? Because if it is the former, this is obnoxious af.

I am bilingual (English and French) and had an acquaintance who *barely* spoke French and would write grocery lists for her (non-French speaking) boyfriend in French…lol that relationship ended fast *over in no small part her obnoxious habit of inserting French into all types of random situations*.

If you are going to restaurants where the staff speaks the foreign language, then ok. But, if you’re in Alabama and it’s local staff, the server is not going to appreciate your Italian pronunciation and may not understand it, given they would likely know the Americanized pronunciation only.

Low-Demand-1293 −  YTA for being a Peggy Hill. FYI every single time you have ordered food pretending you were an expert in dialects the staff has made fun of you in the kitchen. This is a 0/10 failed attempt at creative writing.

Didntlikedefaultname −  Info: I need an example specifically for Chinese food. What are you ordering and how are you pronouncing it because if this is a debate about how to pronounce general tsos chicken this is the stupidest argument I can imagine

Jyqm −  ESH. You two both sound completely insufferable, hope I never have the displeasure of being seated next to you at a restaurant.

Four_beastlings −  Unless you only do this in restaurants where the staff is from those countries, YTA. I speak 4.5 languages and can pronounce a bunch more, the minimum wage waitress at the restaurant does not.

Pronouncing things in correct Italian, French or whatever is only going to confuse servers and make their job harder. Also with Mandarin being a tonal language I hope you’re a perfect speaker, otherwise it’s going to sound like you’re mocking Chinese people.

CapricornCrude −  I have a friend who does this, too. It’s pretentious, but doesn’t qualify as an AH move. Calling your husband a redneck does.

Fine-Assignment4342 −  YTA – Reading this entire thing was very reminiscent of a college humor video I once saw, over pronouncing foreign words.

Do you think the Redditor’s use of authentic pronunciation was fair, or was her husband right to feel uncomfortable? How would you handle language differences in this kind of situation? Share your thoughts below!