AITA for telling my husband that if he pays me my hourly rate I will do more housework.

Work-life balance can be a challenge, especially when both partners are high achievers with demanding careers. In this case, the OP—a skilled steamfitter now in supervision earning over $100 an hour—has built a routine where she works long, grueling shifts away from home. To maintain a clean and organized household, she hired a cleaning lady, which has greatly improved her quality of life.

However, her husband now wants to cut back on that service and expects her to shoulder more of the housework when she’s home. Faced with this new demand, she offered a straightforward, business-like proposition: either her husband and kids clean up, or he pays her the same hourly rate she earns at work for any extra chores she takes on.

‘AITA for telling my husband that if he pays me my hourly rate I will do more housework.’

Establishing fair boundaries in household chores is essential in any family, especially when both spouses have demanding careers that require a significant amount of time and effort. Family experts, such as Dr. Laura Markham, emphasize that a reasonable division of domestic work not only helps maintain harmony but also creates a fair living environment.

In this story, the woman—earning over $100 an hour—works long days away from home, so hiring a cleaning service not only gives her some much-needed rest but also ensures that she comes home to a clean space, thereby avoiding unnecessary conflicts.

When her husband suggested cutting back on the cleaning service and expected her to do more housework, she offered a sensible alternative: either the family manages the cleaning on their own, or if she is to take on extra chores, she should be compensated at her professional hourly rate. This proposal isn’t about financial manipulation—it’s about protecting the value of her time and effort, which is clearly demonstrated by her career success.

If each family member took responsibility for their own share of household tasks, there would be no reason to impose additional burdens on her. The key takeaway here is that every family member should contribute fairly to maintain a harmonious and balanced home environment.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

Many readers empathize with the OP’s stance, noting that it’s reasonable to expect others to contribute if one is already under considerable time and energy constraints. Some argue that if the husband and kids truly handled their share of household chores, the debate over additional housework and compensation wouldn’t arise in the first place.

Others, however, feel that monetizing housework might create a transactional atmosphere in a marriage, where personal relationships are overshadowed by financial negotiations. Despite differing views, the consensus often comes down to fairness and clear communication in setting expectations at home.

Ultimately, the OP’s offer isn’t about “financial manipulation” but about valuing her time and the hard work she puts into her job—both professionally and at home. If her family truly wants a clean house when she’s home, then everyone should pitch in; otherwise, compensating her for the extra effort is a reasonable alternative.

What do you think? Is it fair to put a price tag on extra housework when personal time is so valuable, or should household chores remain a shared responsibility without financial negotiation? Share your thoughts and experiences below!