AITA for telling my husband that he has to let my dad witness his colonoscopy?
A Reddit user shares her frustration over her mother-in-law’s demand to be present at the birth of her first child. The mother-in-law, who has long been critical of the user, insists on witnessing this moment, claiming it’s her only chance to see a grandchild being born.
The Redditor proposed a compromise, suggesting her dad could watch her husband’s colonoscopy if the mother-in-law gets her wish. This humorous yet firm stance led to some family tension, and she now wonders if she took things too far. Read the full story below to see the full context.
‘ AITA for telling my husband that he has to let my dad witness his colonoscopy?’
I guess this post breaks the rules on amitheasshole. My mother-in-law wants to be in the room when I give birth. She is an unpleasant and pushy woman and none of her own daughters have allowed her near them when they gave birth.
My sisters-in-law are all at least twelve years older than my husband and are all done having kids. I am the last chance for my mother-in-law to see the birth of a grandchild. I have zero interest in letting that judgemental old woman see me down there.
She has objected to me from the beginning because I have tattoos and am not in any way interested in being a stay at home wife. I have a lot of tattoos and a career I plan on continuing. And I have tattoos down there that are none of her business.
My husband is her baby boy. He is a good husband and has stood up for me against her many times. When she tried to interfere with our wedding he put his foot down.
When she tried to convince him that we should move to his hometown where he could work from but I would not be able to find an employer in my line of work he said no because my career is important to me and, while we can live off of his earnings and the cost of living is lower in his home town, our combined earnings are much better all together.
She has started crying to him that all she wants is to see a grandchild being born. All her friends have experienced it and she wants it. He is starting to crumble under her emotional b**ckmail.
So I made it clear that the only way I would agree was if, before the birth, my husband made arrangements for my father to witness him getting a colonoscopy. He would need a ride anyways so two birds one stone you know.
He said I’m being ridiculous but I said none of my brothers would let my dad see them getting a camera shoved up their ass and he felt left out. He finally understood my point but his mother is upset that I used such a stupid comparison.
She says that it isn’t the same thing at all. I offered to change it to me watching her get a Brazilian wax and she hasn’t called in a week. I know seeing a baby being born might be her dream but I am not interested.. AITA?
These are the responses from Reddit users:
[Reddit User] − Hahahaha you pulled that off perfectly.. NTA. F**k her.
gemmygem86 − Giving birth is not a spectator sport. No means no
Glassgrl1021 − NTA. Your comparison was perfect and and your feelings are reasonable. And frankly your husband doesn’t really get a say. This is your medical procedure and you can simply tell your medical team she is not welcome.
albatross6232 − I saw your post on Aita before it was pulled, and the general consensus was NTA. And for good reason – because you’re not! You need to get in contact with your birthing centre/hospital and put some things in place.
You need to let them know who you want in the room with you, and who you DON’T, and that your husband does NOT have veto over you when it comes to this. Also let them know that if he starts to cause a scene because you won’t let his mummy dearest in, then you want him gone too.
Medical_Gate_5721 − NTA. You know when people used to say “you must be fun at parties” as an insult. Well, you must be actual fun at parties. I wanna hang out with you. Definitely not the a**hole.
Careful-Listen2277 − NTA. Ugh, FINALLY, someone used this narrative! Why is it okay for her to be all up in your pu$$y and privacy moments, but there’s an issue when you ask to be all up in hers?! Giving birth is a medical procedure, not a spectator sport for everyone to watch! Don’t let your guard down.
She’s definitely thinking of her next moves to get her son to finally agree, recruit someone else to pressure you, etc. She’ll probably wait until it’s closer to your due date to pressure you since you’ll be under stress from the incoming birth or pull of some type of stunt.
MysteriousMaximum488 − I absolutely love the Brazilian wax offer. If giving birth is a spectator sport, then so is getting a wax job. Seems like a very fair trade to me.
Beneficial_Breath232 − NTA. If you MIL wanted to see the birth of her grandchild, she should have been nicer to the mom of saif-child
Frozefoots − NTA. Giving birth is not a spectator sport. I would also tell your obgyn and midwife that she is to not be allowed entry. They will protect you – nobody messes with a protective midwife! It’s very telling that her own daughters refused to let her be in the delivery room.
a-_rose − NTA giving birth is not a spectator sport and having someone toxic there when you’re at the most vulnerable time of your life is a massive no. Your husband is an AH for even suggesting it to you.
Send him the lemon clot essay for when he suggests “comprising” by letting her come stay with you or visit while you’re in the hospital. Until he is the one on the hospital bed pushing out a a watermelon from a space it doesn’t fit, he doesn’t get an opinion.
Do you think the Redditor’s response was a fair way to set her boundaries, or did she go too far with her humorous comparison? How would you handle this situation with a pushy in-law? Share your thoughts below!