AITA for Telling My Husband Off and Getting Into a Huge Argument Because He Refuses to Help Around the House and Does Nothing After Work?

A Reddit user shares their frustration with their husband, feeling overwhelmed by the responsibility of managing both work and home life. Despite being the primary caregiver and homemaker for their two young kids, the user’s husband refuses to help with household tasks, leaving her to handle everything alone. After expressing her concerns and feeling ignored, she finally reached a breaking point and confronted him. The disagreement escalated, leaving her wondering if she was in the wrong for speaking out. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for Telling My Husband Off and Getting Into a Huge Argument Because He Refuses to Help Around the House and Does Nothing After Work?’

So, I (F, 32) really need some outside perspective on this because I’m just feeling so fed up and frustrated with my husband (M, 35). I work full-time, like, 9-5 every weekday, and I also do pretty much everything at home. I clean, cook, do the laundry, grocery shop, and take care of our two kids (7 and 4). It’s a lot. But my husband gets home from work, plops on the couch with a beer, and just… does nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Lately, with Christmas coming up, it’s like my to-do list is just growing by the day. I’m trying to decorate the house, plan the meals, buy gifts, wrap presents, and, you know, just manage everything that comes with the holidays. Meanwhile, he’s just sitting there, watching TV or playing on his phone, totally checked out of what’s going on around him. I don’t expect him to do everything I get that he works too but he doesn’t even help with small stuff. Like, he can’t cook dinner sometimes? Or help clean up after the kids? I don’t get it.

I’ve tried talking to him about it multiple times. I’ve said things like, “Hey, can you help me with this?” or “I’m feeling really overwhelmed, can we divide things up a little more?” But every time, he just brushes me off. He says he’s tired after work, and that he “needs to relax” or “unwind.” But I’m tired too! I don’t just sit around all day doing nothing. And I can’t even remember the last time I had a proper break.

Last night, I finally snapped. We had dinner (which, of course, I cooked), and the kids were running around, getting into everything. I was trying to clean up, make a grocery list for the next day, and honestly just keep it all together. He was sitting on the couch, drinking a beer, watching the game. I just couldn’t take it anymore. I told him I was done doing everything myself and that it wasn’t fair.

I told him he needed to step up, help out with the housework, and actually be a partner. I said, “If you want to do nothing and just lie there, then fine, but don’t expect me to carry this whole damn family on my own.”

He got really defensive, saying I was “overdramatic” and that I was “blowing things out of proportion.” He said that he works hard too, and when he gets home, he just needs to chill out. He even told me that if I’m so overwhelmed, I should “hire help” or something, but he’s not going to do everything I ask. He said I’m just trying to “control everything” and that he doesn’t need to do everything I want.

We ended up yelling at each other, and honestly, I feel awful. But I also feel like I can’t keep doing everything alone, especially during the holidays when things get even crazier. So, AITA for telling him off and causing such a huge fight? Maybe I was a bit harsh, but I honestly just can’t take it anymore.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Candid_Process1831 −  NTA at all! Tell your husband to get his ass up and help around the house! If he dosen’t want to help out just stop doing everything and believe me after a short while he will notice it , no food for him no cleaning up….

ElevatorFew3005 −  He is not listening to you. He has no intention of changing. Have you considered marriage counselling?

the1kmart −  NTA. You both work and created the family you have. He should be a 50/50 partner in the relationship. You were well within your right and I’m surprised you put up with it as long as you did.

Bearliz −  NTA. Stop cooking for him. Stop doing his laundry. Take care of yourself and your kids and just ignore him. The only other option is to try separating for a while. You are really a single parent at this time.

BrigitteKrista −  NTA. He benefits from a clean house, cooked meals, and cared-for kids just as much as you do, yet he’s putting all the responsibility on you. That’s not fair, and you have every right to call him out on it.

calvinCKW −  If he’s so tired, maybe he should imagine how much more exhausted you are doing everything else after your own full time job.

thewoodsiswatching −  NTA. Plan B: Take a month and don’t do anything. Don’t clean or do the dishes. Buy paper plates. Don’t do his laundry, don’t cook his meals, don’t talk to him, just deal with the kids. That’s it. Leave him out of the marriage since he doesn’t want to be a working part of it. I guarantee you in a month he’ll see what the hell he’s like to live with.

IamtheStinger −  Stop doing ANYTHING for his lazy ass. Walk in after work – grab yourself a drink and plop yourself down in front of the TV. Tell him dinner won’t cook itself.

Funtivity_Director −  This is awful. NTA. He needs to help out or pay support. You will end up resenting him and it will make everyone miserable. You deserve a partner who helps.. UpdateMe

Puzzleheaded-Ad2322 −  Seems like the perfect opportunity for a weekend at an undisclosed location for you while he’s home. Even if he thinks hiring someone is a good plan, he can sort that out himself. Or let a divorce attorney explain it to him.