AITA for telling my husband he poops too much?

A woman feels frustrated with her husband’s frequent trips to the bathroom, which occur multiple times a day and disrupt their daily routine. After expressing her concerns about his pooping habits and suggesting he see a doctor for possible underlying issues like IBS, he became offended, insisting that his bathroom visits are normal.

She feels his pooping is affecting their life together and is worried about his health. read the original story below…

‘ AITA for telling my husband he poops too much?’

My husband poops several times a day. He makes 2-3 trips to the bathroom in the morning (right after waking up + right after breakfast), then at least three more times throughout the day.

Each of these sessions is at least 20 minutes, and I know he is actually pooping, although he takes his phone with him (that’s not the point of this post, I don’t care about the phone). When I asked him why he poops so often, he told me he feels like he’s bloated and needs to poop after each large meal.

Recently, I lost my patience and told him that his pooping was affecting my life and that he needs to go to a doctor because this is completely abnormal. We have a kid and I find it annoying to have to accommodate my husband’s pooping schedule among everything else we need to get done each day.

He was offended by this and said it’s normal to poop this much for the amount of food he eats. I continue to insist that he must have some type of disease such as IBS or something, that is causing his constant need to poop. AITA for upsetting my husband and insisting that he goes to a doctor for his excessive pooping?

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

BiggKinthe509 −  First, nobody poops for 20 minutes. He may actually go to the bathroom to poop, but if each d**p is 20 minutes, he’s f**king around on his phone. If he is actually pooping for 20 minutes, and by that I mean actually getting his d**p on with wasted exiting his little bumhole, yes, he needs to see a doctor.

I have no idea how much he eats, but wow. Some people poop after every meal, not abnormal, but before and after each meal, 20 minutes each time, that’s a lot. I know a lot of dudes who intentionally take their phones to the toilet with them and use “poop time” to scroll, chat, rub one out, etc.

Rather than focusing on him pooping too much, I’d suggest focusing on first, is he actually dumping the entire time because 20 minutes away so many times a day makes it hard to share responsibilities. Second, look at the times.

Are they at similar times or are they at times when, coincidentally, you need or want his help to do something around the house or with your child. That may be telling. Third, do explore the possibility that (giving full benefit of the doubt) he may have a medical issues. Ultimately, eh, I get why he was upset, presuming he may have a legit issue, but NTA.

bgeorger −  Either IBS or a loophole for some kid free time.

vinnie_barbell_ino −  Your husband shits for 2 hours a day and thinks this is normal? I hope you have at least two bathrooms in your house. NTA. And I’m very sincerely trying to NOT make a joke about his habits and this sub.

HolyGonzo −  Yeah. That’s not normal and could potentially be a sign of something more serious. It’s not necessarily that he has a lot of poop to get out but likely that he’s not getting it all out when he does go. If he’s not getting everything out, then he needs to get checked out ASAP.

It might be nothing serious but on the chance that it’s serious (e.g. a tumor applying pressure that interferes with his muscles or with the nervous system signals involved), you don’t want to wait. And you definitely shouldn’t have a ton of poop just completely filling your colon so much that you go constantly.

Also bear in mind that he’s not pooping after each large meal because of that large meal. Your body takes a while to process food so whatever is coming out is likely from the day before or somewhere around there.. NTA

[Reddit User] −  It does sound like maybe IBS if he says he feels bloated … but perhaps try being gentle about seeing a dr rather than angry. If it is a condition, he can’t help it. He CAN help himself getting help though …

Mikey4You −  I am your husband! Except I am efficient with my multiple poops and don’t spend 20 minutes per round. Drop, wash, and go. And yes, I have IBS, which has proven impervious to treatment.

Kind of YTA for your approach. Having to crap that much is probably much more inconvenient for him than it is for you (ask me how I know). Yeah, he should see a doctor. Leading with concern rather than annoyance is more likely to get him there.

stroppo −  NTA. It sounds like he has an issue. Because he mentions being “bloated.” That’s not normal. And if he’s in there 20 mins each time it sounds like he’s constipated, and that’s not normal either. He should speak to doc. Sounds like he needs to eat less and change what he eat.

Delicate_Elephant −  I’m the wife version of the husband in this. I don’t even spend as much time in the bathroom as your husband, but it still impacts most of my days and is a regular annoyance.

I couldn’t imagine being unbothered by spending that amount of time in the bathroom and feeling that way (which I do!), or even thinking that’s normal?!? Yes, some people poop after each meal, but not 2-3 times after each meal.Maybe a few things to consider from a fellow problem pooper:

1. Invest in a squatty potty! They’re life changing. Mines collapsible so I can bring it when I travel (haven’t done that yet, but I’m excited nonetheless).
2. Definitely try and get him to see his pcp or try and get in with a good gastroenterologist. I’d even book an appointment today if you can!

They can book out extremely far in advance – you may need a referral though. Then maybe start the conversation from a different perspective. Don’t use the word abnormal and try not to make him feel ashamed (he likely – hopefully – knows it’s a problem but perhaps he is embarrassed or doesn’t want you to be concerned).

Express concern and say you want him to be the healthiest he can be for your child. Tell him you’ll take on the booking the appointment – and you can always cancel if he still says no. Yes, its going behind his back if you already booked one for him, but I’d rather have a verbal fight than have a tougher medical fight for a loved one.

3. Take notes! Is this an every day thing? Is it only after certain foods? New stress? Water/fiber intake okay? How long has this been happening? If he’s been like this his entire life, that’s one thing, but if his problems started out of no where like mine, the it’s definitely worth getting checked out.

Be patient with him though. Digestive issues are no joke and can definitely take a toll, especially if he’s secretly worried about something being wrong. I wish you both the best!!

Visual_Vegetable_169 −  I also have an “I eat, I poop” gut. It is what it is. Is it really abnormal to go #2 multiple times a day? The way you went about it is kinda AH behavior. People can’t help how their gut works to some degree. If you’re concerned about his health, snapping at him isn’t a good way to go about it.

If my wife snapped at me for my bathroom habits & then said it’s “because she’s concerned” I’d still be peeved at her for the attitude.
How would you react if your husband snapped at you for bathroom habits? Probably not great id imagine.

Famous_Connection_91 −  Tell him to leave his phone out of the bathroom. I guarantee his time in there lessens. Every man I’ve spoken to about bowel movements goes to the bathroom 2-4x per day. I’m nearly convinced men’s intestines are built different. But it shouldn’t be taking that long.

What do you think? Is she being unreasonable in her concerns? Share your thoughts below!