AITA for telling my husband he exaggerated when he said my kids ruined his daughter’s birthday?

A woman’s stepdaughter (14F) had just come out of the hospital, and her father threw her a small birthday party to celebrate. However, the woman’s sons (16 and 12) decided to prank their stepsister by covering her birthday cake with mayonnaise instead of icing, making her cry. The father told the boys they ruined her birthday, but the woman argued he was exaggerating. Now, both the father and stepdaughter aren’t speaking to her or her boys. Was she wrong for downplaying the impact of the prank? Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for telling my husband he exaggerated when he said my kids ruined his daughter’s birthday?’

Last week was my stepdaughter’s (SD) 14th birthday. She was in the hospital days prior for a medical issue and now she’s better. My husband threw her a small birthday party. Unbeknowest to me, my boys (16) & (12) decided to pull a funny prank and mess with the birthday cake that they made for her. Instead of adding icing on the cake, they added mayonnaise.

It didn’t go well and my SD’s reaction was to cry. My husband blew up at the boys for what they did but they said they were just trying to prank her since it’s the norm and they always prank each others. My husband said it was the wrong time to do this on her birthday especially after getting out of the hospital.

He told the boys they ruined her birthday but I told him he exaggarated with this statement. He got upset and yelled at me for defending this behavior and being an enbler. I don’t I am because the boys love her that’s why they act like this but my husband was having non of it. Both he and SD aren’t speaking to me nor the boys. AITA for saying he exaggarated?

Check out how the community responded:

cleanDice77 −  Let me rephrase that: “AITA for telling my husband he exaggerated for calling my boys bullies who ruined his recovering daughter’s birthday?”. Duh…YTA. times a million.

[Reddit User] −  Unless there was a second cake with actual icing, that’s seriously not a prank. It’s just being an a**hole. And I don’t even like cake!. YTA.

jaded_angel85 −  YTA. You’re teaching your boys abuse is ok if they say it’s out of love. A prank is only ok if everyone finds it funny.. Stop enabling them.

BlueRFR3100 −  YTA. I would say that if the birthday girl is crying, that’s a pretty clear sign that the birthday has been ruined. I notice that there is no mention of having a real cake ready to go as soon as the prank was revealed.

FoolMe1nceShameOnU −  **YTA**. Let’s be crystal clear: my boys (16) & (12) decided to pull a funny prank and mess with the birthday cake that they made for her. Instead of adding icing on the cake, they added mayonnaise.

Your stepdaughter was just sick enough to be in the hospital. She came home, probably still not feeling great, and definitely vulnerable. It was her BIRTHDAY, a day she should have been made to feel BETTER THAN USUAL, loved and happy, and your sons decided to RUIN HER BIRTHDAY CAKE. Explain to me what about that is funny, exactly?

It didn’t go well and my SD’s reaction was to cry. My husband blew up at the boys for what they did but they said they were just trying to prank her since it’s the norm and they always prank each others.

“It’s the norm” for your sons to make your stepdaughter cry? Or you’re so delusional that you think it’s normal for people to do s**tty things to their family members on their special occasions? Or you think that “pranks” in the form of doing s**tty things to people you’re supposed to love is “the norm” just in general? Please . . . I’m dying to hear which of these options you think is the defensible one.

Furthermore, do you genuinely not get that the fact that your sons enjoy pranking EACH OTHER, something that they both apparently consent to and do as a MUTUAL entertainment, does not make it even a little bit okay to do those things to other people who haven’t consented to be a part of their nonsense and don’t enjoy it?

My husband said it was the wrong time to do this on her birthday especially after getting out of the hospital. He told the boys they ruined her birthday but I told him he exaggarated with this statement.

How did he exaggerate? In the most literal, bare bones description of the situation, they ruined her birthday cake at a special occasion meant to cheer her up right after she got out of the hospital, and upset her so badly that she cried.

How much worse would you need it to be to acknowledge that they ruined her birthday? the boys love her that’s why they act like this Wow. WOW. Did you actually just claim that your boys RUINED HER BIRTHDAY CAKE AND MADE HER CRY because . . . they LOVE her? Do you also think that hitting people is an expression of love? Calling them ugly names?

Like, how exactly do you decide what kind of bullying, cruel behaviour is “an act of love”? What’s the criteria? Does it have to full-on cause tears, or just destroy something the person was looking forward to?

YTA, and so are your sons, but they’ve clearly learned this ugly, disgusting behaviour from you, a mother who has taught them to express love through acts of destruction and cruelty. Y’all need therapy, and to leave your poor husband and his daughter alone.

[Reddit User] −  YTA. You don’t get to decide how much a person is upset by a prank. You are minimizing your boys behavior and making excuses. Be better.

000-Hotaru_Tomoe −  If your boys thought their prank was so funny, I hope they ate the whole mayonnaise cake. YTA and your husband is right: you enabled a wrong behaviour.

Dittoheadforever −  YTA. Good grief, she just got out of the hospital and they ruined her birthday cake and you’re trying to pass it off as a harmless prank. She is owed an apology.

mythicalkitten −  because the boys love her that’s why they act like this. YTA for this alone. You allow your boys to bully your Step Daughter and defend it as a way of them “showing thier love for her” it’s disgusting that you think this is acceptable.

StevieB85 −  YTA. She just got out of the hospital, and it’s her birthday. Unless there was a real cake with real frosting also, this was cruel. And you were defending their actions instead of disciplining them or telling them why what they did was wrong. Once she started crying, the day was ruined. That’s when it stopped being a “fun” prank or joke, and became a problem. Get your children’s behavior under control!

Was this just a harmless prank that got out of hand, or did the boys cross a line by upsetting their stepsister on her special day? Did the woman enable their behavior by dismissing her husband’s reaction, or was he being too harsh? Let us know your thoughts below!