AITA For telling my half sister she doesn’t deserve my mom’s necklace? ?

A Redditor shares a tense family conflict arising during their terminally ill mother’s discussion of her will. The mother, despite not sharing any blood ties, decided to pass down a cherished family heirloom—a beautiful emerald necklace—to the Redditor’s half-sister, Elsie, who is the product of an affair.

Feeling hurt and betrayed, the Redditor lashed out at Elsie, accusing her of not deserving the necklace, and stormed out of the hospital room. Now, extended family is reaching out, saying the Redditor caused unnecessary pain to their mother. The Redditor wonders: were they wrong to express their feelings so strongly? Read the full story below.

‘ AITA For telling my half sister she doesn’t deserve my mom’s necklace? ?’

Hello everyone, I’m coming on reddit to seek advice because I think I’m in the wrong. I 21F have 2 full siblings Michael, 23M and Damien 25M. We have a half sister Elsie 18F who is a result of an affair.

Our mother 50M is unfortunately terminally ill, the doctors have told us she doesn’t have much time left. SHe called us all in to talk about her will and what we would each be getting. My mother was a banker and amassed quite the portfolio.

Shortly after Elise was born, her mother wasn’t very active in her life, leaving her to move in with us and live with us. I could always tell mom held some sort of resentment to her, my mom wasn’t strong enough to leave after the affair and she regrets it everyday.

Mom raised Elsie like her own for so long, but all Elsie could do was be snarky towards her and always say “but you’re not my real mom” of course she’d only say that when mom was trying to discipline her. But as soon as she needed something expensive she’d be as sweet as sugar towards mom.

I avoided elsie growing up because I always felt like she ruined our picture perfect family. Back to the day this happened, mom was reading out her will on her bed, my mother owns a beautiful emerald necklace; a family heirloom. She looks directly at Elsie and tells her she can keep it.

I started crying immediately, it doesn’t even make sense she’s not entirely part of our family, her and mom share NO blood. I began to scream and yell at Elsie, I told her I wished she never walked into our lives, and that she should just leave because no one wanted her here.

Damien tried to calm me down and reminded me we were in a hospital. Michael left the room with Elsie to avoid escalation. I saw mom crying and it kind of hurt but she hurt me worse. I grabbed my bag and left. It’s been 3 days and I’ve gotten non stop messages from extending family saying I hurt my mom and she didn’t mean any harm. AITA?. 

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Electronic_Sun4582 −  Very reluctantly saying YTA because honestly how else were you supposed to react???? I mean, what in the world is your mother thinking leaving a FAMILY heirloom to her husband’s oops baby??? I’d be mad as hell too.

Even if she raised her as “her own” at best Elise should get a small monetary amount compared to you and your brothers. I’m sorry that this is the decision your mother has come to and that you now have to deal with this (and probably alone at that).

Idk if it’s possible for her to change her mind or even have the time to change the will atp. Seems like even trying to have that conversation with your mom would just cause more stress on her and she’s already ill. This is a mess all around.

QuietCelery7850 −  “I avoided elsie growing up because I always felt like she ruined our picture perfect family.”. No. That was your father. And I am just shocked that a teenage girl was snarky to her mother-figure./s

TeenySod −  YTA. It’s your mother’s decision. Did she ever SAY that she resented Elsie, or is that just your perception? – as clearly your mother does see Elsie as part of the family.

Elsie probably sees your mother as her own too under the circumstances, the ‘you’re not my mom’ kickbacks will be a natural teenager response to being told “No” – if you think about it, you probably said rotten things as a teenager too.

I’m sorry for your impending loss, unfortunately, you are being the cause of conflict/drama here and I strongly recommend you make peace with your family and apologise to your mother before it’s too late.

classicicedtea −  “I could always tell mom held some sort of resentment to her, my mom wasn’t strong enough to leave after the affair and she regrets it everyday” Info: did she actually say this or are you just projecting?

RollingKatamari −  YTA-the only person you need to blame is your father, who btw doesn’t feature at all in this story, where is he in all this??? Elsie may be annoying but that is your mom’s necklace and HER choice who to give it to. Elsie is NOT the reason your father cheated, she was the consequence. Stop wasting the precious time you have left with your mother and grow up.

Similar_Pineapple418 −  YTA. I’m sorry about your mom, but you’re acting like a spoiled b**t over a necklace. Elsie didn’t ruin anything. Your father is the one that screwed up. Stop taking it out in Elsie,

heafanheafanheafanhm −  YTA. If this is your version of the story, I really don’t want to learn how much of an a**hole you would seem like if we read her version.

Forward_Ad_7988 −  hm, I wouldn’t call you an AH for the way you feel, because in all honesty, I would probably feel the same. however, YTA for the way you reacted. your mom obviously wants Elsie to have it, so all you can do is respect her wish and try not to ruin whatever time you have left with your mom over it

ManagementFinal3345 −  YTA. For punishing your sister for your dad’s actions. Stop being an abuser. Your sister is allowed to exist. Your father is the problem. Go abuse him.

SoIFeltDizzy −  YTA Sympathy for this awful time losing your mum. I am sorry to be harsh your mother is dying. Please try to be kind to her until then?. It is very hard to keep things together when losing a loved one, so even though yta for not seeing her she sounds understanding. Things will get better.

Maybe get some counselling about how this is blown up in your mind to her dying would hurt her less than you seeing kindness towards your sister. Have you blamed the affair for your mums reserve, thinking you could detect resentment, then discovered your mum did not resent her? This really sounds like you are hurting.

It is not your sisters fault she was born, but her whole life she has had to face things like you being upset with her for something neither of you had any say in. You are both in a position you did not choose.

Ordinary rebellion is ordinary- she had a variation on my wishing out loud I was adopted (but only when my parents were strict). . Maybe try to understand the picture-perfect family is the one that does not judge people for things they cannot help.

Was the Redditor justified in reacting so strongly, given their feelings of betrayal, or did they go too far by lashing out at their half-sister and leaving their mother hurt in her final days? How would you handle this kind of emotionally charged family dynamic? Share your thoughts below!