AITA for telling my girlfriend to stop commenting on my eating habits, after she told me to cut out red meat?

A Redditor (26M) is an avid steak eater, consuming red meat about 5-6 days a week, primarily for protein to support his daily weightlifting routine. His girlfriend (26F) became a vegetarian six months ago and, while initially accepting of his eating habits, began expressing concerns about the health risks and environmental impacts of red meat after watching videos on the subject.

Recently, she urged him to cut out red meat entirely, citing animal cruelty and trying to show him videos. This prompted the Redditor to confront her, stating that he never comments on her dietary choices and believes she shouldn’t impose her beliefs on him.

Following their argument, she has been distant, leading the Redditor to question if he was in the wrong. read the original story below…

‘ AITA for telling my girlfriend to stop commenting on my eating habits, after she told me to cut out red meat?’

I (26M) eat a lot of steak, about 5-6 days a week. I also lift weights everyday and this is my main source of protein. My girlfriend (26F) turned vegetarian about 6 months ago and so she will never eat anything I cook, except for the sides (potatoes, veggies, pasta, etc). Most days I cook steak and pasta because it is easy to prepare.

My girlfriend never commented about my eating habits until a month ago. I have noticed that she has been watching a lot of videos on youtube, specifically about the dangers of red meat. She knows I eat a lot of steak, chicken, and lamb. It has been this way since we moved in together about two years ago.

Initially she started off by asking me whether I was concerned about the amount of meat I consume, in terms of health risks. Later on over the month she started bringing up how ruminants can be detrimental to the environment. Initially I didn’t say much about it, and assumed she’ll just stop.

But as time went on, she eventually talked about animal cruelty, and today was the breaking point. Today she told me I should cut out red meat completely. She brought up animal cruelty and tried making me watch videos on youtube. I told her I didn’t want to watch the videos and even if I did, I wouldn’t change my eating habits.

This led into her talking about how people don’t care about animals, aninal slaughter, and how they’re raised. This is when I got upset, because I have never once commented about her eating habits. I told her that if she doesn’t want to eat meat, that’s her choice, but she shouldn’t force her beliefs on other people.

I also told her since she’s been watching those documentaries, her reality has been completely warped. After some arguing, she has now gone to bed and hasn’t spoken much to me since the discussion.

Heres the input from the Reddit crowd:

OrganizationCalm6664 −  Sounds like you both have strong opinions about diets, but you should both respect each other’s diets – that’s the only way to coexist with views this extremely different. Think about your future family (if you’re planning on starting one) and how you would raise the kids.

Would they be vegetarian until they can make their own choices? This is a whole lifestyle. On the other hand, having steak up to six times a week is actually unhealthy. You can switch to chicken, fish, beans, and so many other things for protein, that won’t put you at risk of heart disease. Communication is key anyway. I wish you luck, brother!

Anxious_Reporter_601 −  You don’t have to change your diet if you don’t want to, but red meat 5/6 days a week *is* unhealthy and incorporating more chicken and fish is a good idea.

I’m also vegetarian (of 18 years) but I agree with you that your girlfriend shouldn’t be trying to change you just because she’s changed her own diet and viewpoints, and so recently too! Who’s to say she’s even going to remains vegetarian for more than a year or so? People’s diets are personal, and meat *is* the easiest protein source. NTA.

Is it possible she feels unsupported in her vegetarianism and would appreciate if you made full meals she could eat? One veggie meal per week is a reasonable ask as a compromise imo.

NecroVelcro −  Her reality hasn’t been “warped”. You’re in denial about the health and ecological damage that meat consumption causes.

Zinkerst −  I also told her since she’s been watching those documentaries, her reality has been completely warped. It hasn’t though? You’re NTA as far as wanting to decide your own diet and setting boundaries about her criticising you for it, but her “warped reality” is actually just… realty.

The way we as humans keep produce animals IS cruel, our level of animal husbandry IS harmful to the environment, and eating red meat 6 days a week IS unhealthy. These are just facts.

If you don’t want to know about them or see pictures of how the animals you consume are actually kept, that’s your choice, and if your relationship is to work out you both need to learn to agree to disagree, but it doesn’t make her reality “warped”.

ddd_rrr −  NTA, but this seems like a different issue. It seems like your lifestyles are deviating quite a bit. Going to pull the Redditor cliche by suggesting you both may need to reevaluate your relationship. Vegetarianism seems very core to her being, and neither of you should or will compromise.

Greedy_fitbit −  I think when you first become vegetarian or vegan you are often at your most annoying to meat eaters. It feels like you have discovered that this horrific thing is happening and you can’t believe you didn’t know, and now you do you want everyone else to know, because it’s awful and surely they will want to know too.

But not everyone feels that way and it is a personal choice. She might calm down about it once she gets used to it or she might stay this passionate. I think if you could have a conversation with her about how you both feel and that you need to respect but not control each other’s choices.

Maybe it would help if you could agree to have a veggie meal now and then with her. You can actually get decent protein from veggie meals and this would show you were trying to work with her and listening to her health concerns.

Ultimately though if you can’t find a way to compromise and live with each other’s choices without conflict it sounds like a fundamental incompatibility. That sucks but we change and grow and sometimes our relationships don’t fit us anymore.

LightPhotographer −  She’s not ‘completely warped’, that’s a very unfriendly thing to say. OK to say you have heard enough about animal cruelty. But red meat is a known cancer risk, and avoiding the information about it does not make it safe.

Sloooooooooww −  NAH- the thing is, most people if they watch the video on animal cruelty or the environmental impact of meat, they will at least for few days-weeks want to stop eating meat. However, most of us are not disciplined or caring enough to continue. I don’t think her reality is warped.

It’s most likely that you (and I, as I eat mostly everything) don’t care enough about the reality to make long term personal sacrifices. Same thing with products made from child labour/ slave labour.

People watch documentaries or news about it and boycott it for few weeks, after a while we are back to using our iphones and sweatshop clothes/shoes. I don’t think you are an AH for not wanting to change since that’s our freedom/choice. I do get where she’s coming from.

Apprehensive-Cat2527 −  NAH . I eat meat and have cooked a complete meal for my vegetarian gf for 14 years. Kind of weird to only give her “sides.” I think you could make more of an effort cooking for her and that she in turn could cook vegetarian food that suit your needs. Not sharing a value can be painful  but if she wants you to eat less meat she can make an effort.