AITA for telling my girlfriend to pay for her own vacation?

A 37-year-old man has been dating a 35-year-old woman who planned a vacation to the Bahamas with her 12-year-old son before they got together. Despite this, he ended up paying for a significant portion of the trip, including the hotel, car rental, and flight changes, totaling around $5,000.

Just before the trip, she asked him to lend her an additional $2,500 for spending money. He refused, citing his own financial responsibilities, and suggested she shouldn’t go if she couldn’t afford it.

She left for the trip angry and has since gone no-contact, though she’s posting on social media. Friends are now saying he was too harsh. read the original story below…

 

‘ AITA for telling my girlfriend to pay for her own vacation?’

My 37(M) girlfriend (35f) had a vacation planned to the Bahamas with her son (12) before we even started dating. Before they left, I basically paid for the hotel, the car rental and even had to pay for their flights since there was a change on the date.

Now I have no issues with the vacation at all since of course it was planned since before we got together and I would never try and come between a mother and her kid. She had supposedly been planning this for over a year. Right before they left, she tells me that she needs to borrow 2500 for the trip.

I told her I didn’t have it to give to her as I still have my mortgage to pay and my own kids to take care of. All in all I’ve already paid for about 5k of the trip. I told her that if she couldn’t afford the trip then she really shouldn’t be going.

Of course she for mad and they left and I haven’t heard from her since. I’ve seen posts on social media, but no contact at all between us. Of course friends are telling me I was too hard on her and that what I said was mean. AITA?

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

ejdjd −  What exactly did she plan for? The hotel (you paid)? The car rental (you paid)? The flights (you paid)? So far YOU have paid for HER “planned” vacation and she has the nerve to want $2500.00 MORE for her food and entertainment? You got scammed by a grifter.. NTA P.S. – You have some sh*tty friends

StonkPhilia −  NTA. You already paid a substantial amount for a trip that wasn’t even planned with you in mind, and it’s completely reasonable to set boundaries when it comes to finances. Relationships shouldn’t involve one person carrying the full financial burden,

and $5k is already a generous contribution. If she can’t afford the rest of the trip, that’s something she needed to plan for herself, especially since this vacation was supposed to be her responsibility from the start.

The_Naxian_ −  I believe you have been scammed. Your post is quite difficult to understand too. How could she have planned things in advance but you paid for it? If your post is real you were taken for a fool and when you realized it she left.

AdSwimming8949 −  $7500 for a trip to the Bahamas? I’d be hard pressed to spend $4000. The Bahamas are not a five star destination. Write this off as an expensive mistake and move on.

Lucky-Effective-1564 −  YTA for falling for her s**m. She got a free holiday from you and was going for spending money as well.

sandpaper_fig −  NTA. Sorry, but you’ve been scammed. She wanted a sugar daddy, and was happy until you stopped playing along. I doubt you’ll hear from her again.

CymruB −  Sounds like you’re being taken for a ride I’m afraid. She tried to use you to finance an entire trip you weren’t part of.

PunderandLightnin −  I don’t understand why you paid 5k in the first place, for a trip you weren’t going on. At what point did she say she has planned a trip, can’t afford it and could you pay, please? You are generous and kind but it seems you have been taken advantage of. Cut your losses and save for a great holiday with your own kids.

DA-DJ −  That story is cringe. There is no human element to it other than your kindness and generosity. She wants you to put your mortgage at stake for her pipe dream trip that you have already funded.

You don’t need a 12 step program to tell you what you need to do here. This situation is never going to get any better than it is now. Now think about that for a second and no longer

Was OP right to set financial boundaries, or should he have been more understanding given the circumstances? What do you think about his girlfriend’s reaction? Share your thoughts below!