AITA for telling my girlfriend she isn’t welcome at my house anymore unless she seriously fixes her attitude regarding my best friend?

A Redditor shared a conflict involving their girlfriend and best friend, who is also their housemate. After the girlfriend repeatedly made offensive comments about the friend’s sexuality and intentions, the Redditor confronted her and set firm boundaries about visiting their home. Read the original story below to understand the situation and their decision.

‘ AITA for telling my girlfriend she isn’t welcome at my house anymore unless she seriously fixes her attitude regarding my best friend?’

I (30M) live with my best buddy Mark (30). We decided 2 years ago, we were sick of paying high rent costs and having s**tty roommates so we pooled our money together to put a deposit down on a house. It’s a good arrangement as we both have our own separate spaces, it’s cheaper paying a mortgage and we do everything jointly.

We’ve also been best friends for 20+ years and enjoy living together. It’s also important to note that I am straight and Mark is gay, but this has never bothered me and it doesn’t impact how I see him. Mark is single after a breakup right now and I’ve been seeing Hannah (was seeing her?) for about a year.

I told her right from the start about my living arrangements so in case she ever came to my house, she knew Mark lived there too. It never seemed to be an issue until Mark and his boyfriend broke up and Hannah’s attitude changed. She started making comments saying she was uncomfortable with him around me and that he was “making eyes” at me a lot.

I told her she was being ridiculous, so did Mark and we both laughed at the idea of being into each other. We’re complete opposites and are more like brothers and it weirds us both out that Hannah is making comments. I have told Hannah multiple times to stop as this is Mark’s house too and I won’t have him feeling s**tty.

Hannah just keeps ramping it up and her comments are getting worse to the point she even said he wanted to make a move on me. I finally snapped. I told her that being gay doesn’t automatically mean he wants to sleep with me and her attitude is disgusting. She said she was joking and I said it didn’t feel like a joke.

I told her “if you seriously can’t change your attitude and treat Mark like a person, then you’re not welcome here anymore. You’re 30, act like it. Get out.”
Hannah has been calling me an AH for treating her like a child and some of her friends have messaged me saying I am being too harsh.

I’m asking for judgement as I may be the AH for being too firm and not trying to talk to her about why she is speaking about Mark this way instead of downright refusing to let her be near him.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

NotASkeltal −  Easy NTA. She’s still stuck in the “gay = will make a move on any dude” h**ophobic trope and needs to either get the reality check or to be gone. Stand up for your best friend, and f**k homophobia.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. Hannah is disgusting and is displaying h**ophobic attitudes and language. She is equating Mark who is gay to being a s**ual predator waiting to pounce on you.

It’s very hard for people like that to change and I honestly would rethink if she’s someone you want to be with. It’s clear how much you care about Mark and I applaud you defending your best friend but she is poison and if she continues to be around him, she’ll keep dripping her poison.

tinyahjumma −  NTA. And this relationship is over.

AllOfficerNoGent −  As a big ol’ gay dude with a big group of straight guy friends can I just say thank you for being such a solid bro? Not everyone comes through for us the way you have for Mark, he’s lucky to have you. NTA and good luck on finding your next gf, cause this one ain’t it.

Spotzie27 −  NTA She’s being h**ophobic and hostile to your roommate. But why stop at banning her from the house? It doesn’t sound like this relationship has a future.

lizzieaddamstookanax −  IDK if she’s being h**ophobic or jealous and insecure, but she IS being irrational and cruel. NTA. Stick to your guns on this one, mate.

Fly0ver −  NTA and OhMyGod. This reminds me of my (now-34F) best friend’s (now-37M) girlfriend when he was, like… 23. She was obsessed with thinking I wanted him, despite him being like my brother. When I met his now-wife for the first time, I asked her if she thought I was trying to steal him. She laughed so hard, she cried, and I definitely approved of her.

Your GF is immature, selfish and insecure. I’m grateful you’re standing up for mark, especially in his own home! Btw: if someone ever says you’re the a**hole for not being an a**hole to someone else and establishing boundaries, RUN!

aita_boomer −  She started making comments… I have told Hannah multiple times to stop… Hannah just keeps ramping it up… She said she was joking… Classic g**lighting. Boomer says NTA.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. Friends for 20 years is hard to come by.

Unusual-Leadership17 −  You are NTA. “I was just joking.” is a classic line of abusers who are trying to control others. She was way out of line. You called her on it, more than once, and she never listened but amped up the obnoxious behavior. Push her firmly into the EX column. Block her number and the number of any enabling AH who wants to defend her.

Do you think the Redditor’s response was justified, or could they have approached the situation differently to address their girlfriend’s behavior? How would you handle a partner disrespecting your close friend? Share your thoughts below!