AITA for telling my girlfriend not to throw a party at our place without me present?

A Reddit user shares a situation where they told their girlfriend not to throw a big house party while they were away, feeling uncomfortable with the number of guests and the risk to their belongings. Their girlfriend is upset, having initially planned for a smaller dinner party. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for telling my girlfriend not to throw a party at our place without me present?’

Hi! My Girlfriend (24F) and I (26M) live together. I‘ll head home for Christmas and New Year’s while she’s staying at our place. She was planning this cute dinner party between the holidays for her best friend with like 10 people. I completely encouraged her to do it at our place.

However, her best friend just informed her that instead of a nice calm dinner party she would prefer a bigger house party for her birthday with a stronger focus on partying and alcohol. When my girlfriend told me I said that I don’t feel comfortable with 20+ people in our small two-room apartment (living room with kitchen and bedroom) having a big party with me gone and all my belongings there.

Especially since I do not know most of the people that will come. All my valuables are in the apartment, including some very expensive furniture that I got from my parents. So I told her I would prefer her best friend having her birthday party at her own place. Now my GF kinda pissed since she wanted to throw the party somewhere else to avoid her best friend having to deal with all the organizing and planning. AITA?

Check out how the community responded:

NoDrama4274 −  NTA. This sounds harsh but either your gf is not very bright or she’s being manipulated by her friend, maybe both. I wouldn’t use my friends home as a party venue if I respected them, Common sense tells you that house party’s are messy and things can get destroyed ,. your gfs bestie doesn’t care, as long as she has somewhere to throw a party guilt free and doesn’t have to worry about HER stuff getting broken. If I were you, I would move all of the valuables before you leave because chances are, your gf will have the party when youre gone.

Dittoheadforever −  You’re NTA.  Her best friend just informed her that instead of a nice calm dinner party she would prefer a bigger house party for her birthday with a stronger focus on partying and alcohol. Bless her heart. If that’s the case, Miss Birthday Girl needs to rent out a party room in a restaurant. 

CommunityDefiant4292 −  NTA. 1/ The friend can organize her own drunken party at her place !
2/ Your GF can organize the bday party at her friend anyway !
3/ look at your lease ! There could be some restrictions in there on the number of people allowed in the apartment!!
4/ warn the maintenance guy. He may have to put a stop to the party ,

ExistenceRaisin −  NTA. It’s your home too, and you won’t be there keep your belongings safe. The people who will be in your house are mostly strangers, and you have no idea whether they can be trusted. Your gf needs to respect your wishes.

AutomaticArrival3970 −  NTA. She should respect your decision, instead you could hire a venue if she really wanted a party that badly a two room apartment is not big enough and could get wrecked.

-NerdWytch- −  NTA. That’s your house and your safe space, you’re fully within your rights to expect it to stay safe whether you’re currently inside it or not. If your partner doesn’t respect that? 🚩🚩 (Edit spelling)

Aggressive_Cattle320 −  NTA What your GF planned to do, and what it’s now evolved into, are two drastically different things. You are wise to not want that type of party to be held at your small apartment. There are too many risks, including other neighbors calling police if things get loud or out of hand. If the friend wants something larger and more festive, the friend needs to host it at her own place or an appropriate venue.

ArvidKanwulf −  Get all your valuable things and store them at a friends place if possible. If she still throws the party at your place, d**p her.

stroppo −  NTA. You have a reasonable concern about too many people being in your apartment.

Aggressive_Cup8452 −  She’s pissed because you won’t let 20 drunk people come and destroy your apartment?  How dare you…. NtA. Either your girlfriends never been to a party or she’s just not that bright.