AITA for telling my friend we don’t want his wife to join us?

A man scored three concert tickets for himself, a close friend (a long-time concert buddy), and a third friend who has had a rough year caring for his wife and kids. The third friend enthusiastically accepted but later mentioned that his wife, who has faced health and personal issues, also wanted to join.

The man only has three tickets and intended this outing to be a “bro event” for fun and escape. He’s now debating whether he’s wrong for making his friend refuse his wife’s request to join. read the original story below…

‘ AITA for telling my friend we don’t want his wife to join us?’

I just scored awesome concert tickets!! A friend of mine (both of us M) have been going to a few concerts a year for awhile now. We don’t go to sporting events, and concerts are kinda our thing for entertainment. I bought 3 tickets today.

A big deal for us, as we love this kinda show, and I scored awesome seats. The third ticket is intended for a different friend. Friend #3 has had a hell of a year taking care of his wife and kids. His wife got diagnosed with some rare disease, more likely from her major drinking pro blem than genetic.

Still its a mystery, kinda how and why. But she was pretty fucked up all year. Hardly able to help with kids, zero help with bills and chores. She is doing a lot better now, but still no job no help. Everyone feels bad for the guy, cause he really is an upright guy and tries so damn hard.

So, I got him a ticket and asked if he wants to join along. You know, get away from the wives and kids and see the show! He was super stoked and said yes. Then later today tells me he gets permission from his wife but she wants to join along.

Aside from being a medical haphazard she is pretty noisy and not generally chill. And I only have 3 tickets. Am I the ass for telling him its a bro event, and putting him in the potentially bad place of having to tell her we don’t want her there?

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

DgShwgrl −  You’re NTA but you have to be sure your brain doesn’t say the quiet part out loud!! So your title is misleading, and you would be an AH if you explicitly told Man3 you don’t want his wife to join you. The facts are; you and Man2 always go to concerts together, and you always buy two tickets.

This concert, you got three tickets because Man3 is a mate who you want to treat to a night out. *You tell Man3 you only got one ticket for him because you wanted a bros night and you hope he can come* and that’s the end of the story.

The emotions, the reason why you decided Man3 would make good company, are irrelevant. Sure, they helped you make your choice, but that’s your *internal* voice. It does not need to be verbalised!

Aggressive_Cattle320 −  NTA You offered the 3rd ticket to him. She wasn’t invited to give “her permission” as he’s not a child. You can be truthful with him while not being rude to her. Tell him you only have those three tickets, and it’s a guys only event.

Sounds like he needs a night out with his friends and a night away from her. You were lucky to get these great seats and you can’t get another one. He is entitled to go out without her after all he’s done. She needs to give him a break.

BowTrek −  NTA — tell him you had 3 tickets and one is for him and the other is for whoever. If his wife wants to join just say that’s great and suggest they make a date of it and get themselves two other tickets so they can sit together and invite someone else for your third one. Suggest you all meet up before or after for snacks or a drink.

OkeyDokey654 −  NTA. But there’s no reason to tell him you don’t want her there. That would be an AH move. Just say sorry, I have one ticket available and I’m inviting *you.*

Early_Fill6545 −  Sounds like all three tickets have already been spoken for?

RussianCat26 −  NTA but the way you talk about his sick wife 😳 you act like she’s enjoying being sick and unable to parent her children and take care of herself. Like you clearly don’t respect her at all, a woman who got sick and can’t fill the typical “mom role”.

Yeah it’s fine you got in concert tickets, but maybe he wouldn’t need such a vacation if his friends (YOU) provided a little more support. If I had a close friend whose spouse was very sick and unable to work I would definitely be there for them not just scoring concert tickets. Damn.

averyyalphinn −  You’re NTA, you got the tickets for your bros. he should not expect you to give up one of your tickets for his wife. He’s allowed to hangout without her and she shouldn’t have to be included in all of your ventures.

RocknRight −  NTA. It’s simple. You have 3 tickets. One for you, one for your concert buddy and one for him. You don’t need to say any more than that.
(I don’t blame you at all for not wanting to be around the wife.)

[Reddit User] −  NTA. Tell him you’ve got three tickets and it’s a guy thing and you’d be happy to do some other event that involves her later but it can’t be this one.

7625607 −  NTA. But just tell him you got three tickets and you already invited the other guy. You don’t have to tell him you don’t want his wife to go, just make it clear these are the only tickets you’re buying, and he can join or not but you don’t have enough tickets for her to go also.

Is it unfair to set boundaries for a guy’s night out, or should he accommodate the friend’s wife given her recent struggles? What do you think about handling such situations delicately? Share your thoughts below!