AITA For telling my friend that I won’t invite a mutual to Xmas over my own brother?

A Reddit user is facing a dilemma involving a holiday invitation for Christmas. Her brother, Carlos, has requested that his ex-girlfriend, Gia, not be invited to the family Christmas gathering due to his new partner, and while the user’s parents are okay with this decision, her mutual friend Alex is upset.

Alex has been pushing the Reddit user to convince Carlos to change his mind, arguing that Gia should be included due to her close connection with the family. The Reddit user, however, believes it’s not her place to intervene, especially since she isn’t hosting the event and isn’t particularly close to Gia. Read the full story below…

‘ AITA For telling my friend that I won’t invite a mutual to Xmas over my own brother?’

This is about my brother “Carlos,” his former girlfriend “Gia,” and our current mutual friend “Alex.” Alex and Gia have been friends for most of their lives. We all ran in the same circles during HS, which is how I became close friends with Alex, and Carlos and Gia started dating. We’re all in our mid/late 20s now. Carlos and Gia broke up because of arguments over marriage, work decisions, etc. It was basically just a case of a couple whose life plans weren’t aligned anymore.

This year for Xmas, Carlos requested that Gia not be invited because he’s gotten a new partner and feels it’s a bad precedent for the ex to be there. It wasn’t my business to say anything since my parents are the hosts for Xmas this year and were fine with it. I practically forgot about it until Alex got involved.

Alex said I need to either convince Carlos to re-invite Gia or get my parents to veto Carlos’s request. She said Gia’s family isn’t great and ours was the best family Gia’s known, so it isn’t right to suddenly push her out. Alex said things like how I was choosing Carlos over Gia and family is more than DNA.

I told Alex I wouldn’t be doing that. Gia is a nice person but the fact is she’s not my family and we only really talked because she was Carlos’ girlfriend/Alex’s friend. Gia may not get along with certain members but she still has her own family to have Xmas with. Plus, I’m not even the one hosting this year so it’s none of my business to say who should/n’t be invited.

That was earlier this week and Alex is still upset and giving me one-word answers. I know Alex is defending a friend but I also feel it’s not my place to say who can/’t come to Xmas when I’m not hosting it and really am not close with Gia regardless. AITA?

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Relatents −  Info: If Alex wants to provide Gia with somewhere nice to go for Christmas, what’s stopping him from inviting her to his place? One would think that would be far better than her ex’s parents gathering. Wouldn’t everyone want to go where they are wanted if given a choice?

Stranger0nReddit −  NTA. Alex has no business being involved in this.

LifeAsksAITA −  NTA. Not only does Gia not like her own family , but she also broke up with your brother. Seems like if she doesn’t want to be with her one family , she should also not want to be near your brother. Alex can always take Gia to Alex’s place unless she doesn’t want Gia there either. Maybe she is trying to pawn Gia off on you guys , otherwise she might have to take her to her own parents.

analyst19 −  NTA. Alex can host her own Christmas party if she feels so strongly.

swoopingturtle −  NTA. Is Alex even invited/going to the Christmas Alex is trying to dictate invitations to?

AggravatingPop5637 −  NTA. This reminds me of an inversion of a post from a wife whose in-laws never stopped inviting the high school girlfriend and talked as if the GF were the wife. They told her it wouldn’t be fair to the high school girlfriend because her family sucked. OP, Carlos, you, and the rest of your family are smart not to invite Gia. Your brother’s future partners are thanking you (as are yours).

swillshop −  NTA. Talk with Alex the way you normally do. Ignore the fact that her answers are one word. You gave your answer. It was an appropriate, reasonable answer. Alex should learn from you and recognize that she doesn’t get to control the guest list to an event she isn’t hosting. Alex’s options are (1) stop speaking on Gia’s behalf and let Gia manage her own life or (2) invite Gia to have dinner with her.

wlfwrtr −  NTA What does Alex have to do a Christmas that your parents are hosting?

Constant_Host_3212 −  NTA. If Alex feels Gia’s family is so s**tty, why doesn’t Alex invite Gia for Christmas?. Alex is overstepping

Junior-Author6225 −  You’re not the bad guy here. Your brother has a right to have his boundaries, and you’re respecting his wishes. It’s not your job to solve everyone’s problems.