AITA for telling my daughter’s teacher that she is being f**king stupid?

A Redditor shares their frustration with their daughter’s math teacher after the teacher failed to recognize the hard work their daughter puts in, despite consistently scoring well.

The teacher explained that she reserves her rewards for students who show improvement rather than those who are already performing well. This led to the user losing their temper and calling the teacher names. Was the Redditor justified in standing up for their daughter, or did they cross the line? Read the full story below and weigh in.

‘ AITA for telling my daughter’s teacher that she is being f**king stupid?’

Hi Reddit. I really lost my cool yesterday and I’m feeling really s**tty about it, so I thought I’d ask some internet strangers for clarity.
My 11 year old daughter is in 6th grade this year, and she’s been working really hard in math.

She has gotten over 80% in every class test so far, by sheer blood sweat and tears. She never used to be particularly good at school and exams, she’s of course an amazing kid in a million ways but really struggled with math, and other subjects as well.

Her math teacher has a pinboard where she posts the names of two kids that have “worked the hardest” that week. She gives those kids a small reward, like a chocolate bar. I thought this was a good idea, because it motivates the kids who struggle with math.

My daughter was crying a few weeks ago about how she’s never been picked as the week’s hard worker. I asked her how the teacher picks, and she said she doesn’t really know, but it’s usually kids who don’t do so great in tests.

If they show a little improvement, they go on the board. This seemed really unfair to the kids who work hard and score well, like my daughter. Yesterday we had the first parent teacher meeting of the year, and I brought this up to the math teacher.

She basically said my daughter does well only because she is naturally “talented”, so she only wants to give the hard worker reward to kids who are actually working for every mark. I just blew up on her.

I yelled at her and called her a f**king i**ot, and that she has no idea how much my daughter studies even though she’s only in 6th grade for f**k’s sake. I said it’s really unfair to so obviously favor kids who don’t get good grades.

I feel guilty for making a scene, and also is the teacher right here? I might be biased because I’m not a teacher, and my daughter is involved. AITA? Edit: Okay, I was out of line. I’ll apologize to the teacher straight away. Thanks y’all.

Edit: The school year is almost over where I live. Almost all the kids have gotten recognized multiple times except for a few who consistently score well. And my daughter failed her standardized math test in 5th grade and went for a full summer of math classes to pass and enter 6th grade. So yes she struggled.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Dannah_Montanah −  YTA. You’re right, the teacher doesn’t know how hard your daughter works. It’s completely reasonable to be frustrated by this, and by the weird system of arbitrary reward that is borderline shaming.

But you’re also a grown up, and nobody is actually in danger. Don’t yell and curse at anyone, especially teachers who already have it super hard and are under terrible conditions.

wytewydow −  YTA, that went from like 20 to 100 for no reason. Your special little angel isn’t getting the most attention, because she’s a normal person. Most kids get no special treatment in school, and unfortunately there are a lot of kids who desperately need the help.

You can chalk that up to a lack of funding, and involvement of the parents. And no, involvement isn’t showing up to one PT conference and yelling at the underpaid teacher, who is trying to do their best. In my opinion, you owe that teacher a hand-written apology.

newfriend836639 −  YTA. I can’t believe you threw a fit over this and called the teacher names. Instead, recognize your daughter’s efforts YOURSELF, at home, and let her know that people she encounters in life won’t always notice her efforts, so it’s important to be proud of herself, and not worry about the other people. Good life lesson to learn.

ichheissekate −  YTA. Why in the world would you think screaming at, cussing at, and generally being a**sive toward your child’s teacher over a student recognition system WOULDN’T make you an a**hole? You acted like an unhinged p**cho.

People like you are why I left teaching and why so many are leaving in droves. Honestly, if I was that teacher I would consider requesting that your daughter be transferred to another class, or at bare minimum that any contact between you and me was to be have the principal or school resource officer present.

mossydial −  You are the reason teachers are leaving in droves. Is this how you act at work when you meet an obstacle?

SlideItIn100 −  YTA. Here a life tip: Trashy screaming people on reality TV are not role models. Grow up.

Chickencaca −  YTA. If you care that much just buy the damn chocolate yourself????

Particular-Try5584 −  YTA.. For shouting at a teacher. Your poor daughter now has to go to class every day/week with that teacher, who every time they look at your daughter will remember your expletive laden tirade. Great.

Teachers are humans too. And they can make mistakes. And you can politely and calmly enlighten them, lean in and say “Oh, gosh! We wish it was talent. She’s actually practising maths sums after school at least half an hour a day or so and asking me to show her things. It’s not a talent! It’s sheer hard work!”… and SMILE.

SneakySneakySquirrel −  Here’s a math problem for you: If S = number of students in the class And W = number of weeks of school that have happened so far. S – (W x 2) = ? Unless you get a negative number, your daughter hasn’t been picked because it’s early enough in the school year that you’re having your first parent-teacher conferences and there literally has not been enough time for everyone in the class to get on the board.

If you and your daughter were patient, I’m sure her time would come. I’ll excuse your daughter for not realizing that because she’s an actual child, but you should know better. Instead, you lost it on the teacher and now you’ve ruined everything.

If your daughter wins next week, are you honestly going to believe that she won on her own merits, or are you going to have a feeling that she only won because you made a fuss about it?. YTA.

okIhaveANopinionHERE −  YTA – You’re crying about someone not treating your precious child as precious. Get over over it.

Do you think the Redditor was right to defend her daughter’s hard work, or did she overreact by insulting the teacher? How should educators balance recognizing students who improve versus those who consistently excel? Share your thoughts and opinions in the comments below!