AITA for telling my dad’s he’s crazy if he thinks I’m going to his house during the week just to make food for his stepkids?

Divorce can complicate family life in ways teenagers never asked for—like suddenly being expected to help care for stepsiblings they barely know. In this story, a 16-year-old boy moved in full-time with his mother after his parents’ divorce but is still required to visit his father every other weekend. His father’s recent request? Come by on weekdays after school to cook meals for his stepsiblings—a responsibility the teen wants no part of.

While the father insists it’s only fair because the teen cooks for his biological siblings at home, the teen sees a crucial difference: he loves the siblings he lives with and wants to help them. Being told to trek across town to feed kids he doesn’t feel close to seems unreasonable. Is he being stubborn, or is Dad asking far too much? Let’s take a closer look.

‘AITA for telling my dad’s he’s crazy if he thinks I’m going to his house during the week just to make food for his stepkids?’

Parental obligations – Psychologists who study blended families emphasize that a teen’s primary responsibilities typically revolve around their own schooling and personal development, not stepping into a parental role. Dr. Patricia Papernow, an expert on stepfamily dynamics, says, “Stepparents—and by extension, stepsiblings—cannot expect older children to assume major childcare roles. That’s the parent’s job.”

Emotional boundaries – Forcing a teen to look after stepsiblings with whom they lack a bond can breed resentment. Dr. Janet Hibbs, a family therapist, notes that teenagers often help younger siblings out of a sense of love or loyalty. But if the teen doesn’t view the stepsiblings as family, compelling him to cook or babysit can feel like an unfair burden. “Teens shouldn’t be cornered into roles that make them uncomfortable or resentful,” she explains.

Visitation vs. chores – The crux of the father’s argument seems to be: “You do it for your siblings, so you can do it for mine.” However, Dr. Papernow points out that every family’s dynamic is different. “A teen might gladly help biological siblings if they’re already close or share a long-standing bond, but that feeling doesn’t automatically extend to newer step or half siblings,” she says. Additionally, the teen in question has limited time with his father—time meant for strengthening their relationship, not performing free child care.

Communicating boundaries – What’s the best approach? Experts advise having a calm, direct conversation, ideally with a neutral mediator if tensions are high. The teen can clearly state he won’t provide regular care for stepsiblings during school days. Dad, in turn, should respect that boundary. “Forcing a teen into additional responsibilities can create long-term damage,” warns Dr. Hibbs. “Effective communication about expectations, duties, and willingness is key to a healthier stepfamily relationship.”

Check out how the community responded:

Commenters generally agree that the father’s request is outlandish—especially since feeding and supervising younger children should be the adult’s job. Many point out that the teen’s love for his biological siblings doesn’t oblige him to serve as a short-order cook for children he barely knows. Additionally, some note that Dad’s hostility and refusal to respect the teen’s boundaries may further alienate his son, rather than bring the blended family closer.

Balancing stepfamily dynamics is a challenge, but expecting a sixteen-year-old to commute back and forth just to provide meals for stepsiblings goes well beyond typical chores. The key question is how both father and teen can negotiate a healthier relationship—one based on mutual respect rather than forcing duties on a reluctant son. Have you experienced similar tensions in a blended family? Share your stories below; hearing how others navigated boundaries might shed light on finding compromise without straining family ties.