AITA for telling my dad to get the f**k out of my life and go attend his precious stepdaughter’s wedding?

A Redditor shares a deeply emotional story about their strained relationship with their father, who abandoned them during childhood but later tried to reconnect. Now, as they plan their wedding, their father is asking them to move their wedding date to accommodate his stepdaughter’s conflicting plans—a step too far in their eyes. Was their reaction justified? Read the story below!

‘ AITA for telling my dad to get the f**k out of my life and go attend his precious stepdaughter’s wedding?’

My “dad” wasn’t there for me growing up. He and my mom were 22 (mom) and 25 (him) when they had me. He didn’t even pay child support for the first seven years of my life. He was ordered to but he always found a way to dodge support until eventually he stopped and paid it monthly and had to pay back the arrears.

When I was 4 he met his wife and became a father to her daughter who is 16 months younger than me. When I was 16 he had a change of heart and reached out to establish a relationship with me and fought to show me he really wanted this. I hesitantly agreed. He was trying really hard and even paid mom a huge lump sum of the owed child support from before.

What sorta won me around was how he handled his stepdaughter. She wanted me to live with them and wanted a brother because my dad and his wife had three daughters together and his stepdaughter, but they consider each other father and daughter because her father isn’t in her life. She was really pushy with me about moving in with them and insisting my mom kept me from dad/the family.

This was not true but she wanted to paint my mom as the bad guy. Dad told her she was wrong, he sat her down with me there and told her he was a bad dad to me and made those choices and that I didn’t need to move in. He kept his ground even when she pouted and acted like a baby about it.

I never wanted to be her brother and I don’t like her. We have a lot of bad blood because she knows I don’t want to be her brother and feels like I was wrong not to move in with them, while I find her entitled, selfish and bratty. But dad didn’t punish me for it or make it seem like I was wrong for not wanting to leave mom after she raised me solo my whole life up to that point. He even paid for my college and was there when I needed him.

My relationship with him improved but his stepdaughter and his daughters came before me. That was something I always felt. The last year has been different for me and him. He has wanted me to be more involved in his family and get closer to his stepdaughter.

He told me I’ve had 10 years to embrace everyone and become a full member of the family instead of treating his stepdaughter like she’s the enemy. I told him it wasn’t going to happen. There was drama a few months ago because rumors have circulated that his stepdaughter’s boyfriend cheats on her a lot. There’s no proof to my knowledge but the rumors show no sign of stopping and more of them come out as the months pass.

I got engaged last year and a month ago my fiancée and I set the date a month ago. My dad and his stepdaughter did a zoom call with me about it where she wanted me to give the date up because she’s engaged now and wants to get married on that date. I said no. She whined and I ignored her.

She went along and booked the date and then called dad via zoom and he called me and she said she needed dad to give her away. She said I had to find another date. I told her to f**k off and left the call. Dad called me and said he needs to be there for her and he doesn’t want to miss my wedding so please move the date.

To me it was just a step too far and I told him to get the f**k out of my life and attend his stepdaughter’s wedding. I understood he raised the girls so they were first for him but for all the fighting he did for me, to put this girl before me was too much and for something I booked first.

Besides, he made it clear who’s wedding he’d attend. My dad has tried to reach out despite what I said and his wife sent a long email the other night saying I should have compassion and understanding for him.. AITA?

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

shammy_dammy −  NTA. Nope. And time to block her and her mother. Compassion and understanding for him? You weren’t the one who put him in this situation.

Life-Wealth-3399 −  NTA- and I am willing to bet that the stepsisters wedding doesn’t take place. And Dad will try to come to yours. DO NOT LET HIM!!! Block him and the lot of them and have a beautiful wedding and a long and happy marriage.

Go-Mellistic −  NTA. You set your date first. She set hers on the same day to force your father into choosing her. He did. There is nothing for you to do here, except recognize how awful they all are and choose not to keep this drama in your life. I would go NC with the lot.

legallychallenged123 −  Your stepsister did what? That’s … she can f**k right off and he can go along with her. He’s enabling that behavior like he probably always has by giving in and attending her wedding instead of yours (it sounds like he would have done that even if you hadn’t told him to f**k off).

I mean let’s be honest, the father of the bride is more important in a traditional wedding than the father of a groom. But, he should have told her what she did was unacceptable and he would not be able to give her away on the same day as his son’s wedding. It would be entirely different if it was like an “oops, how did this happen…”, but she KNEW exactly what she was doing and she shouldn’t be rewarded for it.

Yepthatdidntdoit −  Simply point out this is the same crap the step daughter pulled trying to get you to move in. It is about control over you and him. If he gives in then she has won.

Outside_Frosting9957 −  Time to keep him permanently out of your life

Cybermagetx −  Nta. She did this to make your dad pick. And he did. You had the date first. She could of picked 364 other days.

Sensitive-Ad-5406 −  “Your precious princess chose no compassion when she knowingly and intentionally booked the same date as my wedding. I’m not fixing her mistake. Hope daddy dearest remembers her wedding as the reason he lost his only son”

Popular-Anywhere-462 −  compassion isn’t for deadbeat dads, he only reached out to his only son after 3 daughters,if you carry his last name change it to your fiancee last name to twist the knife in his heart.

Old_Beach2325 −  NTA your father is an AH, your sister is a spoiled b**ch, and your father’s wife is an giant enabler. Go no contact with all of them. Updateme!

Do you think the OP was justified in standing their ground and cutting ties, or should they have handled the situation differently? How would you respond if faced with a similar conflict involving a parent and step-sibling? Share your thoughts below!