AITA for Telling My Coworkers I Won’t Go Out With Them If They Keep Inviting One Coworker Because of Her Behavior?

A 23-year-old woman (OP) enjoys socializing but isn’t a big drinker. After a night out with coworkers to celebrate a promotion, one coworker, Jane (30F), pressured OP to drink more, even though OP wasn’t comfortable doing so.

Jane continued to push, even after OP expressed she wasn’t feeling well and didn’t want to drink more. When another coworker invited OP to go out again but mentioned Jane would likely be there,

OP refused to attend unless Jane was not invited, citing her discomfort from the previous night. Some coworkers are supportive, but others think OP is overreacting. read the original story below…

‘AITA for Telling My Coworkers I Won’t Go Out With Them If They Keep Inviting One Coworker Because of Her Behavior?’

I (23F) am not a big drinker. I enjoy socializing, but I’m more of a “smoke weed and relax” type of person than someone who drinks heavily. I’ll have a drink on special occasions, but I’m small and lightweight, so I can’t handle much.

About a month ago, I went out with seven coworkers to celebrate a promotion. One of our coworkers, Jane (30F), invited herself along, which was fine. We all hang out outside of work, and she’s generally fun, though not always in the “core group.”

I ordered a fruity cocktail and after the toast, I took a sip, but Jane immediately pointed out that I was supposed to take a bigger sip. I explained that I don’t drink a lot and that I hadn’t eaten much, so I wanted to wait until the food arrived. Jane didn’t seem to get it and kept pressuring me to drink more.

This continued throughout the night. She kept loudly commenting on how little I was drinking, constantly reminding everyone of it, and accusing me of sneakily pouring my drink into someone else’s glass. Eventually, she tried to force me to drink more, even when I told her I was feeling sick.

Later, we walked to a nearby karaoke lounge, and Jane dragged me into a liquor store to buy alcohol to sneak into the lounge. She shoved a drink in my face and tried to force me to drink it, even though I’d already told her I didn’t want to. I told her firmly to stop, and thankfully, she backed off.

Now, Eric (one of my coworkers) invited me to go out again, and I asked if Jane was coming. When he said she probably would, I told him I wouldn’t attend if she was there. I explained that her behavior made me uncomfortable and ruined the fun for me.

Eric agreed not to invite her, but now the group is divided. Some coworkers understand and agree that Jane was rude, while others think I’m overreacting and forcing them to choose between her and me. So, am I the a**hole for refusing to go out if Jane is invited because of how she treated me last time?

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

OkPsychology2376 −  NTA. Jane is one of those that pushes people to drink as much as her so she doesnt look like the only bad drunk. Its kind of a misery loves company thing. My ex inlaws were that way. For some reason they’de get offended if I chose to stop drinking before they did.

It was uncomfortable, and I don’t like drinking that much. So, I do understand where you’re coming from. Someone needs to straight up tell her to mind her own business and leave you alone, or they jusy won’t invite her anymore.. You also deserve an apology from her for ruining your evening.

Quiet_Moon2191 −  Next time someone pushes you to down a drink or take big sip, just ask “why are you so obsessed with me drinking this? Did you put something in it?” NTA

spaceylaceygirl −  NTA- i strongly suspect jane is an a**oholic a**hole. Alcoholics don’t like when people don’t drink or know how to drink responsibly.

BadMom2Trans −  NTA and not rude. You have a boundary with someone forcing alcohol on you. She singled you out. That’s not cool. Those that have an issue can mind their business. You didn’t ask them to weigh in, they chose to.

metallee98 −  Nta. You didn’t say she couldn’t come you just said you would stay home if she went. They chose you over her. If she wanted to be invited she should be more pleasant.

TrueJ3di −  NTA she sounds like an attention seeker b**ly tbh, maybe you could of pulled her to one side and just said look your annoying me and I want a good night and I don’t need to drink much, so back off and let’s keep it a good night. She may of just been little drunk and not realised.

WiseOwlPoker −  NTA. Give me a choice of hanging out with drinkers or 420 smokers. I’m choosing the 420 group every time. There’s always one drunk Jane in every drinking group.and there’s always f**king drama with the drinking group. Fwiw past drinker here. Just socially and rarely now. Stick to your guns on this one.. Best of luck.

imdagame92 −  NTA. you’re not forcing them to do anything. If she’s coming, I’m not. If she’s not coming, I’m probably in. That’s just being a direct adult human 🤷🏿‍♂️

ashatteredteacup −  People like that are disgusting. Met a few at work parties and my standard response is “I don’t need alcohol to have fun”. Shuts them up real fast. NTA, why bother attending when you know you’re just gonna get harassed? Better that they exclude the troublemaker.

No_Word2958 −  Absolutely NTA! That was some really weird behavior on her part and you have every right to be as uncomfortable as you are with her. Those who choose to ignore/support such strange behavior aren’t people you should seek the company of anyways.

You aren’t forcing anyone to do anything. Those who care for you and have a good head on their shoulders will willingly not put up with her behavior.

While it’s understandable that OP doesn’t want to deal with Jane’s pushy behavior, refusing to attend because of one person may create tension in the group. Setting boundaries is important, but the situation might require more communication with the group to find a compromise. What do you think? Share your thoughts below!